19-2-1-1

I for one am not sad to see 2015 go. It was not our best year. We encountered many trials and tests as a family. We learned a lot about disappointment, unanswered and answered prayers and  how to keep getting back up when knocked down.

The numbers 19-2-1-1 mark some of the lowlights of this past year. 19 is the number of eye injections I had to have in my eyes. The injections are very expensive. Prayers for healing have not brought a miracle. at least of the supernatural sort.  Through the miracle of medicine I am able to see. One nurse told me I should be thankful, for just a few years ago, these injections were not available. I am scheduled to go again next month. It is unnerving to see a needle coming directly to your eye and to have your eye clamped open so you cannot close it. People wonder if it hurts. I assure you it is not comfortable. After the injections I am not productive for the remainder of the day. I have often asked God for healing. I know I am not in control. If He wants and chooses to heal me I am waiting and eager. He has the power to do so and I believe He can if He is willing. To this point He has not been willing. And please spare all the sermons about if I just had more faith. I have watched many people suffer over the years with disease who had faith. We prayed for them, and on a few occasions at the request of families gathered some elders, anointed people with oil and prayed over them. In each case the healing did not come and on a number of occasions I preached the funerals of those people. God is sovereign. He does what He purposes. I cannot force Him to do what I want. My job is to trust Him and to overcome whatever tests I have do deal with in this life.

The number 2 represents the number of times Tucker injured his left knee this year. The first time occurred in August in the very first football scrimmage. The MRI revealed he tore his ACL. It took the wind out of our sails as a family. Tucker cried and I cried silently for Him. All the hard work he put in that summer came to nothing. He missed the next six weeks. As I blogged earlier this year, it appeared to us that God healed Tucker. He believed it as well as us. He finished out the last five games of the season playing with a brace for precaution. He eventually earned more and more playing time. He felt so confident going into basketball he chose not to wear the brace. He reasoned if God truly healed him he did not need a brace. He played 10 games all out showing not the slightest bit of injury to the knee. He ran. He cut. He exploded into acceleration on the court. Then, in a game right before Thanksgiving, he took a jump shot and when he landed he fell to the floor. I knew it was bad. Another doctor's visit and another MRI revealed the ACL was still torn as well as a slight tear in his meniscus. Brenda and I have always prayed for our boys' protection while playing sports. To say we were disappointed in the initial injury and to learn God had not healed him is an understatement.

The number 1 represents the surgery Tucker underwent a week before Christmas. That also reflects another unanswered prayer that I asked of God years ago that nobody in my family would ever have to be in the hospital or have surgery other than to visit and minister to other people. In the end we are learning to overcome medical setbacks like so many others do each year. Tucker is still on crutches and hoping to be off of them in anther couple of weeks as he starts his rehab, which will take a minimum of six months.

The last number 1 represents the crash Turner and I survived by God protective hand. The motor blew in the jeep we had just bought Tanner causing us to lose control. We ended up rolling it as Turner and I were on our way to Wednesday evening church. Only by God's mercy did Turner and I walk away from that horrific wreck without a scratch. We know it could so easily have gone the other way. After talking with the police and assuring them we were okay Brenda picked me up and drove me to church where God graciously allowed me to teach that night without anybody being the wiser about what had just happened. After meditating on the goodness of God protecting Turner and I over the past eight months since the wreck, I have also lived with disappointment that we have been unable to get Tanner a decent vehicle. The Lord did a great miracle to even allow us to buy the jeep outright that Tanner wanted. We were able to pay cash for it. Just like that,  in a puff of smoke along with broken glass and dented metal, that miracle money was gone and Tanner had nothing to show for his faithful prayers. He has been disappointed but been remarkably mature about the whole thing. We still hope and pray God will intervene and before he graduates make a way to get Tanner a dependable vehicle for college.

There were many other trials of the garden variety type like most people face. There were other disappointments. In the end what can I say. God never left us or forsook us. Things did not always turn out the way we wanted. God never failed me or my family. He did not always answer my prayers the way I wanted. He did remain faithful. He is still trustworthy. He did prove Himself dependable. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NASB) 
²⁴  Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

I would have never chosen the trials we encountered this past year. Not any of them. These are tests put before us. Our choice is to either give up and fail the tests or to keep believing and pass the tests.

Let me close with some words from Tucker. I have been most impressed by Tucker's positive attitude.  Even the day of his surgery he made jokes and laughed with us. I told him how proud I have been about his positive attitude. He responded, "Well, whether I have a good attitude or a bad attitude I am still hurt. A bad attitude doesn't change that so I might as well have a good attitude."

Pretty sound advice to approach the tests of 2016.