Friday, June 29, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twenty-Six

It is one thing to love God when everything is going great. It is another to love Him when your hopes have been dashed. It is another thing to love Him when tragedy suddenly and un-welcomed invades your life. It is one thing to praise God on Sunday morning with the throngs of worshipers surrounded by musicians and gifted vocalists.

Praising God in the midst of tragedy like Job experienced in chapter one of his book is rare. It is easier to cast blame at God when the tough times come. It is easier to accuse God of being unfaithful than to praise Him in the storms. It is easier to doubt than to trust, to blame than to bless, and to fold rather than to face the truth that God is trustworthy and praiseworthy all of the time.

Tonight as we embark on the last leg of this journey back home (we just crossed over into Texas) I just watched a video where former NFL quarterback, Randall Cunningham, gave testimony about God being praiseworthy and trustworthy. This even though his two year old son drowned in the same hot tub where Cunningham, who now serves as a pastor, baptizes new converts.

I wonder, as I continue to draw near to God, how shallow my love and devotion really are. Would I seek Him, love Him, worship Him, and serve Him if I faced adversity. Would I exalt God like Job did in [Job 1:20-121] Would you hear praises coming from my mouth at the midnight hour after I had been beaten and bruised. Would you hear me praising God that I had been countedworthy to be beaten for Him like the apostles in Acts 4 and Acts 5.

I have seen many suffer and still praise. I have watched grieving widows and widowers weep beside caskets where the lifeless shell of their spouse lay. I have seen the terminally ill die well with praises on their mouths despite the excruciating pain. I have read of those who have been martyred and did so with love of God in their hearts.

Do I have that kind of love and devotion in me. It is easy to praise God coming home from camp. The worship times were intense. The Bible studies were riveting. Those were good times but we are fast approaching the real world. These students have a great deal to face. Temptations will abound. Traps will be set by the enemy.

Will we still worship? Will we still love and serve God when things do not turn out like we planned. I am challenged tonight by Randall Cunningham's testimony. I am challenged by his love and devotion to God. I am challenged by the fact he still baptizes in the same hot tub his son drowned in. That is faith, love, and devotion at a level I have never known. Only God can bring that to me. I pray for the real substance to praise Him in the good times and to praise Him in the bad times. I pray for the real life substance of a faith that can withstand whatever God allows to come my way.


The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twenty-Five

While I am writing this I am still on a bus driving back from Florida. We are nearing Shreveport which means we are finally nearing Texas! I am ready to return home. Today marks my 21st wedding anniversary with Brenda. For several years I have been preaching youth camps or been on mission trips during our anniversary. She has been more than tolerant and understanding.

She really gives me the freedom to seek first the Kingdom of God. What does it mean to seek the Kingdom God first according to [Matt 6:33]? For Brenda it means doing without her husband for days and at times for weeks. She has released me to travel the world preaching when God has called. She lets me go when I need to go away with the Lord to pray and write for days at a time. She sacrifices the comforts many others take for granted all for the sake of advancing the Kingdom of God.

When we got married one of the songs we loved and claimed was an old song titled "People Need the Lord." For twenty-one years we have been proclaiming Jesus as a youth minister and spouse, traveling evangelist, pastor, and two times as a church planter. She sent me a text earlier that read, "Can't wait to see what craziness the next year holds for us."

She had no idea when we stood before the preacher at the First Baptist Church of Hurst, TX where she grew up that our lives would have so many twists and turns. She has faithfully supported me in prayer and labor through these twenty-one years. She has often prayed for me in the late night watches of the night when I have struggled to get a fresh word to preach. She has been there when doubts and spiritual attacks have come my way. She has been my greatest encourager. She has stayed true when the tough times have come and there have been numerous tough seasons.

For twenty-one years she has listened to the dreams God has put in my heart and waited faithfully for God to fulfill them. She has not grown hard or bitter at the tough road we have often been called to walk. I am humbled by her gentle perseverance and optimism even in the darkest of times.

I know that quiet strength comes from her glorious pursuit of God. She has been in pursuit of Him since  way before she ever met me. She has sought God in scripture reading and prayer. She has sought God in prayer with a force of faith that defies her quiet demeanor. She is a fierce prayer warrior and she has taught me how to pursue God when we first God married.

She has a depth and maturity that only comes from lingering in the Lord's presence. She has been forced to walk a road of faith she would have never chosen for herself. She has patiently waited on God to come through when the mountains loomed a menacing shadow over our family and ministry. It has been her constancy that calms me when I feel overwhelmed.

While I traveled to other nations and other states preaching and laboring for Christ she stayed home and raised our boys. Now that they are in school and we are planting this church, she has reentered the work force to help us make financial ends meet. She does not complain. She never has. She simply follows where the Lord leads and makes the best of things.

Today I celebrate twenty-one years of marriage to an uncommon woman. Wherever we have served people have loved her. She always leaves a deep impression on people. I am blessed and I know it. I realize what a gift I have been given.  She aids me on this glorious pursuit.

It is not always easy to live with someone who would just as soon be shut up with God for hours on end praying and seeking seclusion. She understands. She senses when God is calling me to leave her and the boys for a season for extended times of prayer. More times than I can count she has been awakened by me being awakened by God to get up to pray all hours of the night and morning. She often has trouble going back to sleep and has to endure her days sleep deprived.

I never knew our pursuit of God together would lead to such interesting adventures. I never knew we would suffer as much as we have suffered. I still believe God is going to do some big things through us. I keep praying, seeking, preaching, writing, trusting, and following where God leads regardless of whether it leads to our comfort or discomfort. She follows as a devoted follower of Christ first and my wife second.

As I continue my own pursuit of God I am inspired and grateful for a wife who has been on her own glorious pursuit longer than I have been a Christian. In fact, when she was in eighth grade she began praying for the man she would one day marry. She did not know I stood condemned and lost without Christ. God saved me in 1983. She continued to pray for me not knowing her future husband would surrender his life to Jesus to preach July 4, 1985. She had no idea God would bring us together on the campus of Howard Payne University even though we grew up four hours from one another.

I am thankful for my wife, best friend, cheer leader, prayer warrior, and my companion on this glorious pursuit. I am blessed beyond measure. Lord, thank you for my wife and help meet on this journey to know you.

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twenty-Twenty Two

It is hard to continue the glorious pursuit of God and revival while riding on a bus with forty-six other people. I want to be alone with my thoughts and my Lord but the confines of this space do not allow for a great deal of solitude.

My schedule is dictated for me since arriving at camp. We start early with some of our athletes for early morning workouts on the beach. These are a tradition for us. Every church I have served while attending beach camp has endured the early morning voluntary beach workouts. I would rather be shut alone with the Lord letting him give my soul a workout. After this is breakfast, bible study, small groups. recreation, lunch and then free time. Free time is spent supporting our students in basketball and volleyball tournaments. After this everyone is itching to spend time at the beach. This is usually followed by time at the pool and the clean up for dinner followed by evening worship. The night ends around 10:00 p.m. with one more hour of free time to go to the snack shack. Lights are out at 11:30 p.m. and then the routine starts all over again.

I share a cabin with dozens of junior high boys. They are loud and messy. They do not understand this glorious pursuit. They do not understand this burning passion to be alone with the Lord. Despite the challenges for solitude I hunger for God as much as ever.

Whether in Texas or Florida I yearn for more of God. I will do what I have to do to keep seeking Him. That means getting up early no matter how badly I would rather sleep in. I am probably going to bed two to three hours later than I normally do. Getting up early hurts a little more but the price is well worth the reward of meeting with and enjoying my Heavenly Father.

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twenty-Four

I want to be a part of a revolution in Paradise and Wise County. Many have gone before us to seek a similar revolution. They have done it politically, Some have strategically battled to start revolutions in the way the schools operated. Some of have done so in the way the city runs. Some have started worthy causes and given effort to those to make a change.

My interest in revolution consists primarily of seeing a spiritual revolution where many are saved and give themselves to further the revolution for Jesus Christ. In the book of Acts a bunch of scared and disillusioned followers of Christ were transformed when they were filled with the Holy Spirit. They boldly prayed and boldly proclaimed Jesus Christ. They were mistreated and suffered for serving Jesus with their blood and some with their very own lives. They did not give in. They did not turn from the pursuit of seeing God revolutionize their communities.

The heat was turned up. They were arrested. They were threatened. They were beaten. Still the revolution continued. 3,000 saved on one day. 5,000 saved on another day. A dozen saved here. A few hundred were saved there. The revolution continued.

The power of Jesus Christ to transform a community in unlimited. Those early followers of Jesus gave themselves to two things that made all the difference. They prayed. They proclaimed Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation. Prayer and Evangelism. They had no buildings. With no fancy programs they changed the world. They had something churches today cannot buy. They had the power of God on full display in what they did.

Today we program rather than pray. We strategize rather than soul win. We will do almost anything in the church rather than the two things that launched a revolution in the book of Acts. We make excuses for not praying. Lately God has called me to a deeper level of prayer than I have even known. I have hungered for that kind of praying. I have hungered for the presence of God in my life like never before. It does not stop there.

God has called me to a deeper level of intercession especially for the lost. I have a list of eight people I bring before the Lord daily to save. While at camp I committed to agree with our students to pray for anyone they would give me the names for. My list went from eight to over twenty. I plead with God to convict of sin and to draw to the Savior. I ask God to nip at the souls of the lost like a hound dog after prey. I ask the Lord to break down pride until hearts are ground to powder. When a whole church and a whole community of churches begin to pray like that revolution will come.

When the church begins to pray the members will become bold in their witness. We will live with a burden for the lost to be saved. We will live with the weight of eternity hanging in the balance for many. We will never be satisfied filling up our churches with people who are already saved. We will want to see new people saved and for the revolution to continue not only in our communities but all over the world.

Some say this is all day dreaming. I have been seeking God for a revolution where we have lived for the past thirteen years. It is not easy. At times I feel alone. So many people are apathetic in their love and zeal for God. I have watched as people give their best energies and effort to lesser things. I want to give my life to the revolution of watching Jesus Christ change lives, families, churches, communities, counties and whole coutries. I want to labor to that end until my last breath. No giving up and no turning back.

Why do we not pray more at church. We can't even get two dozen people to come to our Sunday night prayer meetings. I guess people think prayer meetings are not important. I see them as vitally necessary.  We are losing the war. Everyday we are losing ground to a real enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. [Jn 10:10] He steals innocence and the souls of millions. Our adversary never gives up. He never relents. The church sleeps instead of pray like the disciples of Jesus in the garden.

How I pray God would call a church and group of churches to prayer like they have never known. I pray they will give themselves to pray for the lost, pray for revival, pray for the revolution. I want to give myself to prayer like never before. I want to work tirelessly to lead our church to pray. I want to be a catalyst for prayer wherever I go. So I renew myself to the task of seeking to increase my private prayer life as well as the private prayer lives of those around us. I want to labor with all my might to lead our church to pray together corporately. I know when we do this revolution will come at some point. God will step in and call people to the great work. of revival and revolution.

God alone can bring these things to pass. God alone can initiate a revolution. God alone can transform churches and communities. I long for that. I want to expend my days in the pursuit of more of God. Maybe I am day dreaming but I would rather go to my grave asking God for revolution rather than to settle for the status quo. This is the way to expend my days. I remain in pursuit of God and a revolution and invite you to do expend your days in pursuit of the same things.

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twenty-Three

I am writing this on board of a charter bus driving through Florida headed back to Texas after our youth camp. For the past four days we have enjoyed sunny skies, the ocean, and anointed worship and preaching.

The glorious pursuit has taken on a different look this week. Time alone has been at a minimum except those early morning hours. All I have wanted to do is to steal away somewhere to be alone with the Lord in prayer. I've had Turner with me in my room along with forty-five others to lead. The one desire of my soul during the long bus drive to Florida and throughout every day of camp has been for more of God.

The glorious pursuit continued this week but my time with the Lord was not as long as it has been back home. I have had no office to get alone with the Lord. I have not had time just to sit with the Lord for hours on end. There was always someone needing my time or attention. The camp schedule and keeping up with Turner prevented those extended times alone but the burning in my soul did not wane. The intense craving for more of God did leave. The passionate hunger for more encounters with the Lord burned in soul.

I did worship in our services with an intensity that drew me closer to Him. I sang at the top of my lungs and with all the passion I had with me. I especially worshipped in songs that talk about fully surrendering to the Lord. I gave my all in worship. I gave my all to Him. I did not hold back one single bit. All I am engaged God in praise and adoration. I have worshipped any harder than I did this week. At times I felt my heart would burst out of my chest in praise to God. I did not hold back. I did not hold back whether I sang in tune or not in tune. I forgot about people and lost myself in worship. I did not want those times to end. My soul craves more experiences with God like that.

I already look forward to Sunday when Eddie leads us in worship again at Faith Community. This week I worshiped at Beach Camp in Panam City, FL. Sunday I will worship in a warehouse as Faith Community makes a transition to our new home for the next two to three years. Today I am worshiping on a charter bus driving across five states to get back home. Tomorrow morning I will worship back at my office.

Praise to His name. He is to be exalted. He is to be praised. He deserves all the praise I can give. He deserves my service. He deserves my life. He deserves the song in my soul as well as my life. He deserves all I can give. He deserves my passion, my affection, my devotion, my sacrifices, my every day lived for Him in this glorious pursuit.

I will extend my hands in worship reaching for more of Him. I will yield my soul to Him in sweet surrender. I will sing with all the love I can muster. I will lay my life down at His feet in worship. I will worship in the public assembly. I will worship in the privacy of my secret place. I will worship with music. I will worship with living. I will worship in serving. I will worship in preaching. He remains my glorious pursuit.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Nineteen

When I climbed out of bed this morning Brenda awoke and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was doing what I usually did when I got up. I came to the office to seek more of God. It took longer to get focused this morning. I have been a little stressed.

In about fourteen hours I will be loading a bus with 48 students and adults headed for Panama City, FL for our youth camp. It has been nearly two decades since I took a group of students to camp and had to be in charge. We will leave tonight and drive all night and a good portion of the day tomorrow before we arrive at camp tomorrow afternoon.

I had to pray through a Psalm this morning in order to calm my mind and soul. Before I knew it once again God caught me up in His presence and I lost track of time. Two hours seemed more like fifteen minutes. I honestly became so engrossed in Ps 107 and prayer that everything else faded into the background of my consciousness. God once again became my greatest desire. Once again He did not disappoint.

Once again I interceded for revival, the lost to be saved, for Faith Community Church and our worship service later this morning. There is always something to pray for. God engulfed me in His love today. I basked in His everlasting love for me before I trusted Christ for salvation. I thanked Him for His love for me even when I have forsaken Him and chosen sin. I thanked Him for His love for me when I ministered preaching or writing under His anointing. I thanked Him for His steadfast love when I am cranky and stressed like last night as the boys were packing for camp. I never pack until the last minute. I think that is partly due to the fact I do not enjoy leaving home. I know Brenda and is ready for a whole week to herself. She eat what she wants, watch something other than sports, and have the freedom to come and go as she pleases.

The love of God is mind boggling. It is undeserved and therefore could never be earned. God's love is a gift. I shudder to think of the number of times I have taken that love for granted. In the days of this glorious pursuit, the love of God is shed afresh in my heart leaving both humbled and grateful.  That love is reciprocated as I seek Him day after day.

I truly love Him. I want to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I love Him with a passion I have not known for anything including Brenda and the boys. This has not always been the case. In college I made an idol out of Brenda. Painfully God removed her from my life for a whole year. During that time God became my first love. Though the fervency of that love has waned at times I know nothing else has ever usurped God on the throne of my heart or been the object of my greatest affections.

How many have left their first love? How many have cooled in their affections and let someone or something else sit on the throne of their lives? [Rev 2:4-5] "But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lamp stand out of its place, unless you repent."

Can you recall at time in your life when you loved God more than you do now? Can you recall any point where you felt a deeper love and devotion to the Lord than you are experiencing currently? Have you allowed other things to slowly creep into your heart competing for your deepest affections? Is the throne of your heart getting crowded? If so it is time to repent and to return to your first love. To put it another way you need to return to your chief love. That is the love of your life that is first in rank, first in priority, and first in influence. Only God is worthy of that kind of love and devotion.

I am experiencing revival on a personal level. I know it is because God is my first love. The more I love Him and seek Him the more He keeps revealing Himself pouring out fresh waves of His love in my soul. I want to remain on this glorious pursuit all the days of my life and gradually keep climbing higher in the Lord and closer to Him.

On days like today I have worshipped privately in this office long before the public worship service. I am eager to sing to the Lord and declare His truth because I have sat with Him. What if others sat with Him today? All over the world what if the multitudes flocked to the house of God with repentant hearts and returning to Him their first love once again. What a glorious day this would be.

All I can do is keep loving and seeking God in my own life and pointing others in that same direction. I pray God so burns in my life that others catch flame with more love for God when they get close to me. I pray people will come from miles around to a church where the hearts of the people are set ablaze by the everlasting love of God. That is the course set before me and I follow this path even if none go with me. What I have experienced in God this morning and on this glorious pursuit is well worth the investment to linger longer in His presence.

I challenge you to do something today. Sometime get away with the Lord and choose a Psalm. Pray through each verse and let the truth of God marinate into your heart. Don't rush through this time. Take the necessary time to enjoy God. Watch what happens to your heart in the process. You will rediscover your first love. Seeking and serving God out of love rather than duty makes all the difference. Rediscover [Matt 22:37-39] again today as you start your own glorious pursuit.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Days Sixteen - Eighteen

Jesus said, "For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, you gave Me drink; I was  a stranger, and you invited me in; naked and you clothed Me; I was in prison and you came to Me. Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me." [Matt 25:35-36, 40]

That is the lesson I have been living out for much of the past three days. We performed a service project by painting a fence with our students for a heart transplant survivor and his wife. I received a phone call from a 74 year old woman who needed some mowing. She told she was disabled and could not afford to pay. I immediately thought of the the above verses. I set the boys down and told them we would be mowing a yard without getting paid because it is what Jesus would want us to do.

That yard proved to be the worse one we have mowed to date. It had gotten really out of hand in many places. The boys worked hard out in the brutal Texas sun knowing all they would get for it would be the smile of God. As the hours ticked by I reminded myself we were doing to one of the least of these and were really doing this unto Jesus.

During the past week I spent a lot of time on the mower and the boys on the weed eater. We dropped a great deal of sweat. Over and over again while serving others I kept thinking of Jesus's admonition that when you have done it unto the least of these you have really done it unto Him. That is servanthood.

Recently I wrote about celebrities in ministry. This past week felt about as far from that as I can imagine. We spent a week doing good old fashioned hard work. My boys earned every dollar they made. They are learning to serve and to work doing a job with excellence. Nobody applauded us for mowing that elderly lady's yard. We got no pats on the back from the watching throngs. We served because Jesus calls us to.

Spending so much time mowing has cut down on my time in the office. I have still gotten up early to seek the Lord. I have just not had time to write. Late last night I left the house and came up to the office hoping to linger with the Lord and to write. I was surprised to discover three ladies from our church decorating and cleaning. It blessed my heart to see these ladies preparing for our move to these facilities on July 1st. It disappointed me on another level that I could not be alone in my office to seek the Lord and continue writing. I got my computer and hoped to write when I got back home. The boys were watching a movie in the living room and I knew any attempts to seek God and write would prove futile. I ended up going to bed.

So on this Saturday morning when most others are still asleep I am up to write and seek the Lord. I have noticed in recent days repeated distractions to keep me from this glorious pursuit. Phone calls. A pleading wife not to leave so early. More mowing jobs.  Little time to be alone in presence of the Lord. Today promises to be no different.

Taylor has a 7 on 7 tournament that will take the majority of the day. We will be watching him until sometime this afternoon. If I am going to enjoy anytime to seek the Lord or to write it has to be now. Tomorrow evening I leave with our students for Panama City, FL and our Beach Camp. Time alone is going to be a challenge over the next week. Yet that time alone is my priority. I must continue this glorious pursuit.

If there is one thing the enemy does not want that would be a revived pastor. Or he would be satisfied to see an overcommitted pastor get distracted and gradually wear down. I know in God's presence is where I find strength to serve. I know on this journey I find the mental, emotional, and physical reserves to keep up the good fight.

This glorious pursuit is the passion and priority of my life. There are no excuses and no short cuts. Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach once said, "There are no traffic jams on the road to the extra mile." I know what he is getting at. Not everyone wants to put forth the extra effort to succeed. For my purposes I know not everyone wants to put forth the extra effort to seek God when life gets busy. That cannot be my excuse.

Jesus served people and yet He still got up early to seek the Father while others slept. "In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went away to a secluded place and was praying there." [Mark 1:35]

Seeking God His Father was such a high priority for Jesus, He got up way before the sun came up to be alone in prayer. This is after a full day of teaching, healing, and delivering demon possessed people the day before. Jesus still got up early. What I find in my life is that God is the one who wakes me up. I have not slept with an alarm clock in well over a decade and more like two decades. I wake up when God wants me to get up. Sometimes that is around 2:00 a.m. On these days I am up for awhile praying and then I go back to bed. There are other times He gets me up between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. such as this morning. He gets me up because He has an appointment set for me.

I can give into my flesh when I am tired and pull the covers around me snugly and stay in the bed. This is like when Jesus found the disciples sleeping when He had challenged them to watch and pray. He said, "So you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." [Matt 26:40-41]

The Spirit inside me woos me to draw near to the Lord. The Spirit inside me sounds like an alarm clock waking me all hours of the night and morning summoning me to spend time with the Savior. I can make excuses. "Lord, I am busy. I am so tired. You see how I have served people. I want to stay in bed and sleep."

That kind of living does not produce revival in the heart. That kind of effort does not move God to pour out His Spirit to shake lives and communities. The flesh is weak. The flesh is easily distracted. Yet the Spirit inside me burns and yearns for more holy encounters. The Spirit inside me disciplines me to continue this quest when no one else pushes or inspires me.

In these moments it is just the Lord and me. I feel His presence with Me. I feel Him stirring my soul as I pour out my heart on this computer. I sense Him calling me deeper in Him. I yearn for more time with Him. I anticipate what He will have to say to me. I cannot make excuses. I do not want to be like the disciples and in this time of the pursuit of God and revival be found sleeping. There is much work to be done. There are so many things to believe God for. There are so many things He wants to speak to me and other things He wants to shape into my life.

I wish I had the words to convey the things I am experiencing. I try. Somehow it is all lost in translations. You can read what I write but you cannot feel what I am experiencing. I can try to put it all into words but you cannot feel the heat burning in my soul. You cannot understand the one burning desire in my heart for more of God even more than sleep. This is all an indication of God working in my life. If somehow you have gotten the impression Matt is so disciplined or Matt is an example you have missed the point. All of this is evidence of God's deep work in my life. Without that I would still be meandering down the path of life with average devotions. I would serve with a lukewarm heart. I would choose to pull the covers around me and to sleep through these holy encounters. God put these things in my heart. God caused me to hunger and thirst more for Him. [Ps 63:1] I did not simply will it to happen.

He has put a craving in my heart to be alone with Him. This is time reserved for the two of us to commune together. I never know what these meetings will consist of or how long they will last. I only know the more I encounter my Lord the more I want to seek Him. Even if that means getting up early on a Saturday morning when I could sleep in. Am I tired? Yes. More sleep sounds good. My hunger for God surpasses my desire for sleep.

Like Jesus, I will do what I have to do to find seclusion with Him. Often that means leaving my family and the crowds to hide in this office. At Seminole I found a deserted class room on the second floor and made that my perch to get away to seek God. I often stole away to seek the Lord in that private sanctuary. Previous years at Beach Camp I have met with the Lord on the beach, near a swimming pool and other out of the way places early in the morning. I have sat on stones in the mountains to behold the Lord off the beaten path and far away from the crowds. I have met with Him in hidden corners in cafes and at times have parked my truck and went for a walk away from the crowds but toward the Lord.

I have said it before and will say it again. Like A.W. Tozer, I prefer the company of God than men. I love people but no person can give me what I continue to find in God. So this morning I go away. I go away from Brenda and the boys. I go away from the flock of Faith Community. I go away from the demands of a growing mowing business. God is my only agenda. He is my glorious pursuit.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Fifteen

My pursuit began yesterday sitting in a rocking chair on our back porch. The temperatures were cool and the gentle breezes made it perfect to sit outside to meet with the Lord. Once again I lost track of time as He and I communed with one another.

I once again yielded my life and ministry to Him. I surrendered my all to follow Him and to carry out His assignments. Once again I had to repent of some areas in my life where the Lord has been shaping me like a potter but I have been resisting the sculpting of His hands. He knows what He is doing. I cannot always see the end result. He does and I have to trust Him.

Sometimes the pressure from His hands is uncomfortable and downright painful at other times. This is where I have sinned. God uses trials to shape us and I wanted out of the trials of not selling our house in Seminole or having our own place to live here in Paradise. God convicted me on two levels. First, like so many other things it comes down to trust. Do I trust the Potter to shape and guide my life and circumstances for His glory and my own good? Second, am I willing to submit to the pressure of His will and allow Him to mold me into a vessel for His glory no matter what that means or how long it takes?

Those are two big things. How do I know how God is using my life to bring glory to Him. All I can see is the here and now. All I can see is this computer screen and the words that pour out of my soul. I have no way of knowing how many will read this or if God is using my life and writings in anyone else. I preach to a few dozen people each Sunday morning. I am not sure how God is using that. I write books like the forty days devotion book Faith Community Church is currently going through but have no way of knowing if people are encountering God like I have been.

In some ways packing up my truck and driving away from Seminole was the easier part last July 24th to plant this church. Not easier emotionally but easier in the fact that I had a God sized dream and great faith to pursue that dream. There were so many unknowns but excitement in following God to a new adventure overshadowed all of that. I trusted God to come through in big ways as we laid it all on the line to follow Him.

I left Seminole with a little cash. I remember the first Sunday looking at my remaining cash and tithed. I offered this prayer for God to provide for me. That same week a lady from East Texas sent a check for $500 and so the first miracle came. I had no way of knowing that I would live in an RV for four months. I had no way of knowing I would be separated from Brenda, Tanner, Tucker, and Turner for the one whole month. When they finally did join Taylor and I in paradise during the next three months Brenda and the boys would live in the home of one of our church members while I resided in the RV on the same property. I never felt more like a failure than in those days.

I fought and resisted this pressure every step of the way. I did not yield to the pressure from God's hands. I prayed. I wept. I questioned why. Sustained by the prayers of God's people I stayed the course. I went through so many emotional roller coaster experiences. Some days I would hold on to hope that God would come through. He did. He used people from East Texas to West Texas to provide for us during the lean months. Sometimes we receive $500 in the mail. One time a man from Seminole delivered $7,000 to us from those wonder people at FBC Seminole and from the town. There were other dark days when I lost sight of the dream and sunk into a cavern of doubt and despair.

After four months God opened a door for us to live in the house we are in now. The church provided us with a rent house and for the first time in four months my family all slept under one roof. The trials did not end. I resisted God's pressure once again wanting our own home. The rent house is the smallest place we have ever lived in as a family of six. We have now lived in that house seven months. We endured cold winter days and nights. We survived a wild dog living under the house. We made Christmas work buying a little tree we had to set up in the hallway near the front door. I resisted God's pressure every step of the way in living in that house and our house not selling.

I also went through a several month bout with despair when I lost sight of the dream of Faith Community Church. Like Peter taking his eyes off Jesus and looking at the waves when he walked on the water, I too began to sink. Those were dark dark days. Notice that is past tense. I praise God He has delivered me.  I felt like I was treading water in a stormy sea back then. I also felt very alone. It took all the faith and energy I had to get through those days. All I wanted was relief from the financial pressures of starting a church and the financial stress in our own lives with our house not selling. Instead of submitting to the pressure from the Lord to shape me into a vessel of honor I resisted.

A few weeks ago all of that changed. To be honest it all started with a quiet time when the Lord met with me in a very real and personal way. I know in the days that have followed I began to experience personal revival. In these days I have spent my days seeking the Lord for extended periods. My devotions have been rich and I have enjoyed sweet communion with Him like I have never experienced before. He speaks to me. I am eager to get before Him. I am reluctant to leave.

So yesterday morning after reading [Jer 18:6] I surrendered. I yielded every facet of my life to His desire and design. I repented of those areas where I have resisted His work in my life over the past several months. In some areas the Lord has revealed the future for me. He has repainted the dream of Faith Community Church in my heart and mind. It is grand dream worth giving my life to. In other areas I walk forward blindly trusting Him and His word to give me direction one step at a time. [Ps 119:105] Either way, like Paul, I am learning to be content in all my circumstances. [Phil 4:11-13]

This has been quite a journey. We are approaching the one year birthday at Faith Community Church. We have come a long way over these past eleven months with God's help and provision. After months of using cafes, libraries, a RV, and my living room I rejoice that God has provided an office for me. It is not just an office. This is also my secret place to meet with God. When people walk into this office they will never know the encounters I have had with God. They will be unaware of the hours I have spent on this glorious pursuit. They will not be able to hear the voice of God as I have been privileged to hear as I lingered in His presence. This office is a blessing in so many ways. None more important to me than I have a place to get alone with Him. In His presence I plead for the souls of the lost. I labor for the kingdom of God. I have a quiet place to collect my thoughts and to write. I have a place to study for messages. I love this office but only because I love the fact that God meets with me here.

I got up early this morning and turned on the television to catch the weather forecast. Afterward I flipped to a news channel. While catching up on the latest news God began wooing me to this office for a season with Him. I turned the television off grabbed my keys and headed out the door. This is where my heart yearns to be.

And what God taught me yesterday is to submit to His plan. He knows what He is doing and I am firmly convinced His plans are best. I may not sell my house in Seminole for a long long time. It is leased through April of 2013. I may not buy a house for even longer or God may work a miracle unlike anything I have ever seen. Either way I let Him mold me and apply the pressure through trials.

Faith Community is a little under two weeks from moving our Sunday morning worship service out of the high school cafeteria and into the warehouse we are converting to a sanctuary. God has brought us a long way from that first Sunday in a daycare back on July 31, 2011. We have moved from the jr. high cafeteria to the high school cafeteria. Two times we had to make adjustments and meet in two different gymnasiums. I have met with our students in a different gymnasium on Wednesday nights and for a couple of months we met in the bleachers at the football stadium. Now they meet in the warehouse. God has faithfully guided us and provided for us every step of the way. In a few days I am going with a bus load of 49 people to beach camp. Forty-three students are making this trip and we have not had our own place to meet until a few weeks ago.

One day someone is going to read the history of my life and the story of Faith Community Church and are going to be inspired by the miracle working power of God. Some church planter with a huge dream is going to follow God in starting a church. They are going to go through some tough times. They are going to contemplate giving up and somehow God will let them read our story. When they read and see what God has done they are going to be inspired by God to keep going. The kingdom of God will be advanced and they too will see their own miracle story unfold.

God is using my trials to bring glory to His name. If this had been easy few could relate. Everyone can relate to things like battling depression, trusting God in adversity, perseverance, and learning to be content in God alone. People can relate to not having overnight success but steadily pressing on. People can relate to financial trials personally as well as in the church. To this day we have not one time passed an offering plate at Faith Community. We set up two offering boxes and trust God to move the people to give. Some give who do not even attend the services. God has provided for my family through Faith Community, people who love us all over the state, and a budding mowing business. I have God's assurance He will use my writing ministry to bless my family with provision someday as well.

Though I do not understand many things about the way God has guided my life I know I am willing and desire to yield to the Potter. At times His work in my life may resemble gentle pressure from His hands. At other times I may feel the pain of the chisel as He removes things from my life. Through it all I am convinced God has a beautiful purpose in mind for my life and Faith Community Church. I am eager to live out those purposes.

I remain in the Potter's hand. I eagerly submit to His pressure. I pray with all my might God is using me for His glory. I plead with the Lord He is using this glorious pursuit to whet the appetite of others who yearn for more than dry and stale religion. I pray God uses Faith Community Church in ways none of us could have ever anticipated. Today I continue to yield to the Potter's touch on this glorious pursuit.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Fourteen

The pursuit of God and revival are costly. At different seasons of my life when God really wanted to do something He turns up the heat in my life and usually that means I do not get to sleep through the night.  That was once again the case this morning as God had me up from 2:00 a.m. to 4:15 a.m. seeking Him in prayer.

God had my full attention. Until around 4:00 a.m. I was wide awake, alert, and eager to intercede for Faith Community Church and the Paradise community. I determined before I went to bed the night before if God chose to wake me I would be ready to seek Him. I had all the tools ready near my recliner such as my Bible, devotion guide and prayer journal. When that divine wake up call came I knew He was calling me to take my watch on the walls of Paradise. [Is 62:6-7]

I am ready to pay this price of lack of sleep if that is what God wills. In the past few weeks He has gotten me up early to come seek Him in this office. There is something special about this place. I met with God earlier today in my recliner but it did not compare to my recent encounters with the Lord in this office. He seems to dwell here waiting for me. Getting up early is a price I will gladly pay if I can keep meeting with God and hearing from Him the way I have been for the past few weeks.

All of these encounters with the Lord have not been pleasant. He has revealed and convicted me of sin. He has called me to repentance. When I think we have just about got to the end of it, He reveals something else like He did this morning. Once again I repented and took another step toward Him on this glorious pursuit.

People say they want more of God and they want revival but when it comes to paying the price people want comfort and convenience more than sacrifice. I have yearned for God more in this season than any season I can think of in the past twenty plus years I have been following Him. I know God did this. I did not just wake up one day and decide my devotions would take on an extra intensity and would be prolonged. I did not just decide one day I would triple the amount of time I had been spending in prayer. God created the yearning in my heart for more of Him. That yearning is greater than whatever price I have to pay.

Part of this glorious pursuit will mean continual days of message preparation and preaching. I do not know for how long but that is a price I am willing to pay if God will use me to revive this church and community. My life and labor are laid at His feet and as a living sacrifice. [Rom 12:1] I am available to do whatever He wants. I am available to seek Him and seek Him reviving and awakening the souls of His followers.

Do we really want revival? Do we really want more of Him? What if that means cutting into our social and recreational lives? What if that means us losing sleep? What if that means long days at work and long nights meeting with God in revival services for weeks on end? What if that means conviction of sin in our lives and the call of God to repentance? What if that means bold witnessing and public testifying of His work in us? All of these are small prices to pay in order to have fresh encounters with the living God in our devotions as well as in our public worship.

That should be the goal. We should long for more fresh encounters. We should long for more of the love of God poured out in our hearts. I do not want to be content with more religious activity that looks good on the outside but is devoid of spiritual vitality. I want more of the living God shaking me to the depths of my soul with His grace, goodness, strength, power, holiness, and infinite wisdom. I want to be awed in His presence day after day and then enter the house of God to declare what He has declared to me fearlessly.

Yes, revival is costly but the reward is worth the sacrifice. Eighteenth century evangelist George Whitfield once said I would rather burn out than rust out. I only have this one life to get to know God and to serve Him. I have all eternity to rest. While we have life should not our hearts and lives scream, "God we want more of You. We want to be used to do more for You. We want to experience more with You. Please never let us quit thirsting after you like the deer thirsts for water. [Ps 42:1-2] Please make us eager and willing to pay whatever price is necessary to experience more of you and to experience revival."

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Thirteen

Today I am chewing on the truth that only God should get the glory for any work done in His name. Especially when it comes to revival. In our day and time we live among Christian celebrities. There are famous preachers, musicians, vocalists, evangelists, and authors. Crowds flock to hear them. Their albums sell. Their books top the best sellers lists. People watch their every move.

I find this odd. How can a person be a Christian celebrity. Take that first word. Christian. Everything about that word is Christ first. Christ is to be exalted, promoted, and glorified. John the Baptist had it right when he said, "He must increase and I must decrease." [Jn 3:30] Paul had it right when he penned [Gal 2:20], "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." There are no thoughts of celebrity in either John the Baptist or Paul. Their lives were all about Christ first.

I once heard a preacher talking about Christianity in China and how there are no celebrity pastors. Serving Christ there and other places around the world might mean getting martyred. In the good old United States we have pastors, singing artists, and authors who live high on the hog. They make more money than the people they serve and live extravagantly. What is worse is they think they are entitled to live this way. How would they react if persecution came and their lives were on the line. Would they work to promote their name and ministry. Would they continue to shamelessly market themselves.

While the crowds flock to hear them preach, sing, or to read their latest book they often do not make time for the very people they claim to serve. They often brush people aside, take all measures to avoid the crowds, and perform well on stage but cannot be found once the spotlight has dimmed after the sermon, the concert, or the book signing. This is not the example of Jesus. He walked slowly through the crowds and touched people's lives. He loved, forgave, prayed, healed, and delivered people all through the gospels. He was available and accessible to people. Shouldn't all of us in ministry follow in His example?

I can see both sides of this issue. I know many started out well. They were humble. They began ministry in small obscure places. God placed His hand on their lives and used them in extraordinary ways. As their ministry grew God put them in more prominent places. The crowds continued to grow as well as the salary. Soon more people were brought on to handle the success. Praises were heaped on the preacher, the author, the singer. And then subtly a shift began. Instead of deflecting all the praise and glory to the Lord they began to enjoy it and crave more of it. Rather than offering their ministry as a sacrifice to the Lord they began offering ministry for the applause of the people. They longed for pats on the back, well wishes, and more success. They longed for the thrill of packed churches, arenas, or book signings.

As they continued to enjoy success people crowded just to be around them. Everywhere they went somebody was sparing no expense to entertain them until the preacher, singer, and author began to believe they deserved such treatment. Suddenly the hand of God was removed from their ministry. In the beginning nobody noticed. God does not share His glory with anyone. Eventually the success fades into mediocre crowds and a dwindling bank account. In extreme cases of this the celebrity stumbles and brings shame to the name of Christ.

I have never known huge success in ministry. I did enjoy a great deal of prominence while serving FBC Seminole. The church is a very prestigious church and many influential people attend that church. The church also enjoys a television ministry locally. Wherever I went in the community someone always stopped to tell me they watched me on television. One lady commented one day that I looked taller on television. It was weird. We would go out and eat and I would find people staring at me. I became self conscious when we were out in public aware somebody might be watching me.

I never thought of myself as a big deal and still don't. I had people lavish us with gifts, meals, and financial blessings. Brenda and I were always humbled by those acts of kindness. We never have felt we deserved preferential treatment. We are just normal people serving an extraordinary God. Any fruit we have born in ministry we know is attributed to God using us. He saves the people. He grows the church. He inspires the books and blogs. He revives the people. We are just vessels in His hands.

As we draw nearer to the start of our revival I know what it is like to be used powerfully by God in the past. I have also seen ministers lose focus and want to take the credit for their success. This is so dangerous. I have also on the other hand, seen God's people take their eyes off the Lord and make an idol of the preacher, singer and author. They lose sight of the truth that God is the one working in and through the vessel.

Crowds long for autographs. They line up to get into event. When the celebrity walks out on stage the applause begins. When the author speak or sits at the table waiting to sign the book the people become giddy. They make a bigger deal out of the servant of the Lord than they do the the Lord of the servant. I have written several books and to this day I do not automatically write my name in front of the book when selling a copy or giving a copy away. I do not think I am a big deal. It is Jesus who is the big deal. If someone asks me to sign a book I am happy to do so while including a scripture. If someone offers a compliment about a message I preached I want to immediately deflect the glory to God. I do this first to remind me never to take credit for ministry and secondly so people will always look to the Lord first and foremost.

Since when did God cease being the main attraction? When did the crowds turn their eyes from seeking  the Lord to seeking more for His servants. I see sin on two levels. Those so called Christian celebrities sin when they buy into all the accolades and revel in the praises. God has chosen to use some people in extraordinary ways. Charles Spurgeon became a phenomenon in his early twenties with swelling crowds. D.L Moody became a household name in the United States as well as England and Scotland as God used him to reach the masses. Everyone has heard of Billy Graham. Names like Bill Hybels and Rick Warren are known. Many have heard of Ed Young Jr. Beth Moore has a huge following. John Piper's ministry has grown to international fame. Most Christians have read Max Lucado. Chris Tomlin is known around the world as well as Toby Mac. Yet these people gave and are still giving the glory to God for being used by Him.

Many of these testify that they never sought ministry fame. They simply served God faithfully where He planted them and God did the rest. Now read this carefully. No matter how God uses some man or woman to build His kingdom those men and women are still flawed creatures with sinful natures. It is wrong when the church sets them up on pedestals and swoons at their feet. They are just men and women. God is the one doing the work. It is equally sin when people bow at the shrines of Christian celebrities. We are to bow only before our God and worship at His feet. We cannot get misguided and worship the song and the worship musician more than God.

Neither can the one God is using seek the glory for themselves nor those receiving the ministry seek to misdirect the glory they are giving. God is the object of our glory. God deserves the credit. God must be the focal point. Anything less is sin. The church in the U.S. is sinning.

Every time a pastor thinks he deserves more privilege it is sin. Every time a singer takes all the credit for writing the song and performing it they sin. Each time an author thinks more highly of himself or herself after reading fan mail they sin. There is a warning here to be heeded.

The warning could go to anyone teaching a class at their local church. It is relevant for anyone who gets up during the worship service to sing a special song. It is relevant for the writer who writes even for the smallest of markets. God gets the glory. He must increase while we must decrease.

So whether hundreds or hundreds of thousands read the books God gives me to write, He gets the glory. Whether I preach before crowds of a few dozen or a few thousand God gets the glory. Whether I preach revivals that lasts a few days or a few months God still gets the glory.

On this glorious pursuit God continues to fine tune me. I hear the warning loud and clear today. No matter how God chooses to use I must stay little in my own eyes and remember He is the big deal and I am not a big deal at all. TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE.


Monday, June 18, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Twelve

To pursue God and revival you must expect some opposition from the enemy. We definitely felt that yesterday. I got up early to spend time with God and lost track of time. I went to get the boys about ten minutes later than normal to get things set up for the service. When I arrived none of them were ready for they had no idea as to the time. This meant we were running even later.

When we got to the school you could have blown me over with a feather when I discovered a note on the cafeteria doors telling us the floors had been waxed and the cafeteria would not be available. Nobody had communicated this to us during the week. I stood there mind racing and asking God what to do. The simplest option would be to meet in the gym next to the cafeteria. We hurriedly set up while I prayed through our next problem. The a/c was not on in the gym. I made some calls and finally found a way to get some air going in gym. I will not say it was ever cool in the gym but at least the temperature was tolerable.

I hurried home still running late and Brenda was still getting ready. I let my frustrations vent as she and I tried to share the bathroom. I ran late for our pre-service prayer meeting. When I finally got back to the gym we discovered the areas we use for our children and the nursery were also not available. Eddie had trouble with the sound system that morning. At that point Eddie and I went off alone to pray. We declared we were going to seek God and worship no matter what the enemy threw at us.

We had no words to the songs because the projector and screen we use are in the cafeteria mounted in the ceilings. We sang some new songs that I knew but I am sure some in attendance did not. Yet, when worship started we adapted and sought the heart of God. People sang with enthusiasm. In fact, I would say since we started the forty day devotions there has been extra life and freedom in our worship. I preached the message God had put in my heart and we learned to be flexible. All in all things turned out well even though the people sat in the bleachers.

As I have thought about all of this in hindsight I know the enemy is going to oppose more. The closer we get to God and the more serious we get about revival, the enemy will oppose us every step of the way. This is to be expected. That does not mean we crawl into our bunkers and hope for the best. I know I am in a war.

Last night we prayer walked the high school, field house, and football stadium. I felt more than ever we are in a huge war. Prayer is our weapon. Prayer is our arsenal to fight back. We are pleading with God to break the grip of Satan on our school and community. We are begging God to save the lost and to call the backslidden to repentance. We are pleading with God to revive our community.

[Eph 6:10-13] "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."

You put on armor to fight. You do not put on armor to go to the church picnic. There is a fight for the souls of people. Our adversary has unleashed every resource available to him to oppose the work of God around the world. Sin and temptation are rampant. Many soldiers of God have been trapped and have fallen. Still we must fight. I am not talking about fighting in any other way other than to seek God to call His people to repentance and the lost to salvation.

The pursuit of God and revival is leading me into enemy territory. God is leading me to the fight and not away from it. God is calling me to battle through prayer, preaching, and writing. I know I am a wanted man. The enemy wants to take me out. I am in the line of fire but I can do no other. I must continue this glorious pursuit no matter where it leads or what it costs. If God is for me who can be against me. Though I face opposition I am resolved to continue this glorious pursuit.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Eleven

It is early Saturday morning. It will be some time before the sun comes up. The last thing I said to Brenda last night before going to bed was, "I'm sleeping in tomorrow." I am wide awake. I could not stay away from the office and continuing the glorious pursuit of desiring more of God. I had to get up though the rest of the family slumbers on. I had to get dressed and get to this secret place to soak up more of God in my soul.

While others get up early for ball games or fishing trips I get up early to meet with God. In fact, I would say He gets me up. I have not slept with an alarm clock in decades. He gets me up when He wants me to. My body is tired. We had another busy week. This next week is shaping up to be even busier. My flesh is tired but my spirit is alert and ready to meet with God. He gets me up early to continue this pursuit.

There is a burning in my soul I cannot explain. One thing is for sure, I did not manufacture that burning. This is supernatural. This burning is goes beyond some emotional high like many students experience at youth camp. Eventually the high wears off because the experience of camp does not last forever. Back in the real world there are temptations, distractions and times of worship are replaced with endless hours in front of the television or computer.

What God is doing in my soul is fresh. One of the reasons it is not wearing off is because more fuel is added to the flame every time I linger in His presence. Every encounter with God intensifies the burning heart and creates and insatiable hunger for more. I assure you this goes far beyond religious duty. I am not against duty and I will be among the first to say that duty has its place. There is nothing wrong with duty when accompanied by delight.

This is what I see missing in the lives of so many people at church. They come out of duty. Mechanically they go through the elements of worship of service but there is no fire. In fact, some are downright cold and others are lukewarm. The fellowship of the burning hearts is rare indeed. Because so many around us are lukewarm we think that is normal. There seems to be little delight. Delight goes beyond duty. Delight involves pleasures and enjoyment. Delight speaks to joy. Where is the enjoyment of God and endless pleasure experienced from meeting with God privately and corporately in many lives today? Private enjoyment of God serves to enhance public enjoyment of God in worship services.

Read what Jesus said about this. "I know your deeds that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth." [Rev 3:15-16] Lukewarm is acceptable to many of us but offensive to Jesus. Read what He said. He spits lukewarm out of his mouth. He would rather us to be cold than lukewarm. Lukewarm is unacceptable to Jesus. He will not tolerate lukewarm devotions, singing, serving, and living.

The pews are filled with lukewarm. Bible study classrooms are filled with lukewarm. Many lukewarm teachers teach. Many lukewarm pastors preach. Where are the burning hearts. Many lukewarm prayers are offered. Jesus is sick of all of it. Where are the souls set ablaze with the fresh experiences of walking with God. Where are the people who deeply yearn for more than attending dull and lifeless worship services. Where are the people who crave fresh encounters with God not only on Sunday but every other day during the week as well.

I have known lukewarmness in my life. I have gone through the dutiful motions of devotions without the delight of God burning at the forefront of my mind and heart. I have read the scriptures without letting the scriptures read me. I have not only attended church but preached and not always had the scriptures burning in my soul. I have lived without passion for God and the things most dear to His heart.

It seems to me this is one of the fundamental things wrong in church today. If people truly walked with God and spent sustained times with Him our hearts would burn hotter. We would desire the things of God more. Our appetite for worship and the word of God would increase. If churches were filled with white hot blazing hearts eager to worship and just as eager to serve revival would come.

Sunday after Sunday pastors and worship pastors try desperately to fan the embers of cold and lukewarm hearts. They preach, they pray, they sing while stone hearts and dry eyes sit numbly spectating and wishing for it all to end so they get on about the business of what they really want to do.

Jesus had something else to say to say to the Laodicean church. He called that church to repent. Lukewarmness is a sin. We do not see it that way. We want to justify such living but Jesus says such living makes Him want to vomit and is sinful behavior that should be repented. Repent means to change the mind and turn around in our thinking and behavior.

I am amazed that as I continue this glorious pursuit just how far off track I had been living for quite some time. I loved God. I sought Him in prayer and scripture reading regularly. I served Him through my ministries as a pastor and author. I just did not always burn for Him. Often my devotions were hurried. At times they were given lackluster effort. None of these things produced a fiery hot heart for the Lord.

I am convinced the majority of people who make up the church do not walk with God daily. How tragic. We want the benefits of being a Christian and companionship of other Christians but what we are missing out on the most is that Christ is the prize. He is the ultimate blessing. He is what we need and yet we give Him little time or attention. Do this same thing in a marriage and you are headed for trouble. Treat a child this way and they will wander off into dangerous territory. We crave relationship.

God craves relationship. We crave it for what we get out of it. Love, companionship, fellowship, security, comfort, strength, wisdom and so forth. God needs none of this. He is sufficient in Himself. He does not need our love, devotion, or worship. He craves relationship with us because He knows we need Him and He is the source of our ultimate longings. He is the best thing for us and God craves relationship for what He can give to us not what we can give Him.

Still we race right through our lives refusing to linger with Him or enjoying the journey. We are like a family on vacation racing off to their destination at breakneck speed missing all the scenery along the way determined to get to their destination. God has much to show us about Himself and life if we would just tarry with Him. On and on we go not adding fuel to the flickering flame in our souls until one day our hearts become hard and our souls grow cold. We can recall better days in the past and try to live off those memories but it is no longer real in our current experience.

Church of the living God. I exhort you with all my might to burn for Him. Whatever it takes to rekindle the flame do it. However long it takes to begin to burn in your heart once again pursue that. Don't stop there. With all your fervor seek to live so contagiously that other hearts are ignited when they talk to you. Let others burn when they watch you live and worship. May others have their souls rekindled when they see your love for God overflowing in your heart. That is what all the churches need.

On this journey with the Lord I have experienced some very special times with Him. I remember a quiet time with Him at a picnic table on the shore of Lake Palestine. I recall multiple encounters with Him at the prayer cabin. I have met with Him in my recliner back at the rent house and other places we have lived in the past. I recall special visitations from the Lord back at my old prayer room converted into an office back at my home church of Denman Avenue. I recall meeting with God in the mountains and on the gulf shore at Panama City, FL. The encounters I have had with the Lord in the short time I have had this new office at Faith Community have been nothing short of glorious. God meets with me here. He causes my heart to burn for Him here.

Maybe all of this is the ramblings of an unstable man who has become a little too zealous for the masses. Like an eagle I am content to sit and soar alone. God is my companion. He is taking me places I have never been and on this quest He is breathing fire into my soul. It reminds me of a song we have been singing at church recently. "God's not dead - He's living on the inside roaring like a lion." He is alive in me and the roar of His presence in my life is changing everything.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Ten

I really do not even know where to begin today. When I think my times with the Lord cannot get any more intense or sweeter He proves me wrong on both accounts. I have been lingering with the Lord for the past several hours and He has chastised me, exhorted me, cast vision for me, spoken to me, and once again loved on me. These experiences are more real than I can put into words. They have become the highlight of my days. I come into His presence like a giddy child to the tree on Christmas morning.

Today God had a clear message and direction for me. In essence it revolved around this issue. Do I trust God to use me in greater ways? He wills to do it but I harbored some deep seated doubts on this matter over the years. In order to clarify this I am going to have back way up and tell you a part of my story I rarely share.

Back in 1991 God began speaking something to me I did not tell many. I can remember the time and place God first spoke to me that He planned to use me in great ways. I was riding with a friend on a four thousand acre ranch outside Weatherford, TX when I shared this with him. Time passed and though I often saw the Lord using me and He accomplished some wonderful things my ministry remained pretty average.

The next time I remember God speaking to me about this issue was at a revival. I went down for the altar call pouring my heart out to God. He spoke the words, "The world will be your pulpit." I came out of that night expecting many things to happen. Not long after that I became a full time evangelist and took my first mission trip outside the country to Cuba. I thought God was making straight His way to fulfill what I sensed Him tell me that night.

During those traveling years God continued to speak to me repeatedly about being used in significant ways for Him. One of the things He spoke me was from [Jer 1:5] On that morning the Lord reassured me He had appointed me to be a prophet to the nations. Not long afterward He spoke to me while on a prayer walk out in the woods at the Pineywoods Baptist Encampment. All He told me had me convinced God would open strategic doors and put me in places to do great things for Him.

Time passed. I saw wonderful moves of God but for the most part I preached in small churches in towns most have never heard of. I was grateful to be used in any capacity but I kept waiting for the Lord to do these things He kept putting in my heart. Many times it seemed no doors opened at all. All around me I saw friends being used to do great things for the Lord and I kept asking the Lord, "What is wrong with me? Why won't you use me to do more for you?"

I left the full time traveling ministry to start a church in 2002. In the end, after four years of praying and labor, the church disbanded. My heart broke and something else broke on the inside of me. I quit believing God would ever use in me in a greater capacity. I came to grips with the fact I was an ordinary man and would have an ordinary ministry. This thought was more deeply engrained when I was turned down by thirty-two different churches to serve as their pastor during that span.

After the church disbanded Brenda and I waited eighteen months before God opened another ministry for us. FBC Paradise was not a large church. They had come on some hard times with attendance less than sixty. I contented myself with the Lord that I would live out my days serving Him and the small flock God had entrusted to me when they extended a call to use to become their pastor. I did not have to have ministry success or pastor a large church. I was grateful to have a place to serve.

While driving to an appointment one day and listening to a message by Bruce Wilkerson the Lord invaded the cab of my truck and it became the meeting place for a Moses like divine encounter. God chastised me for my lack of vision. Once again He let me know His plans to use me were much greater than my own.

Once again time passed. We saw wonderful things at FBC Paradise. Unexpectedly God interrupted our comfortable lives and ministry there and called us to the west Texas town of Seminole. I wrestled with the Lord for months about this. God kept speaking Genesis 12:1-2. In obedience we left the best ministry we had known to that point in our lives where God had worked.

In west Texas at FBC Seminole we enjoyed seeing God do things we had never seen in our ministry. I also had the blessing of getting to preach outside the walls of the church through our television ministry. God provided for us to buy a house. We experienced true revival and many people in that church hungered for the word of God and I mean all of it. I worked with a great staff and then unexpectedly again during December of 2010 the Lord began speaking one message to me over and over again. He kept telling me to follow Him even though I had no idea what following Him meant or where it would lead. This meant God was calling us to give the largest and most influential ministry we had known.

Over those seven months the message became clear. I was to return to Paradise, TX to start what is now Faith Community Church. I left Seminole with no idea what the new church would pay me and with no place to live except in a borrowed RV. It was a step of faith.

Things started fast for the new church. Within three weeks the church had tripled in attendance. We had to move out of the day care we met in our first Sunday due to lack of space. Over the months the newness wore off. Some found starting a church to be a lot more work than they had bargained for. Others drifted to other churches. The church settled into an average attendance much smaller than we experienced that first month.

I became frustrated and entertained the thought that maybe I had gotten it wrong and should have never left Seminole. Adding to our frustrations was the fact that our house had still not sold. It still has not though the Lord did provide someone to lease it.

During all of this I slowly began to resolve that my destiny in life was to be an average pastor and serve a modest sized church. I doubted God would ever use me in the ways He had put in my heart over the years. I thought I had gotten it wrong. The books that I wrote I determined would sell a few hundred or maybe a few thousand copies but I would never become a well known or well read author. It was easier to live this way. For years I had felt like a horse chasing the carrot dangling in front of his face but always out of reach. Eventually I wearied of the chase I began to believe I would never taste my ministry dreams.

That is until this morning. There is no way I can go into all the details but God once again convicted me for doubting His desire and ability to use me. The specifics are not important but the message that God wills and desires to use ordinary people like you and me came through crystal clear. "For consider your calling brethren that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many noble, but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong., and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God." [I Cor 6:26-29]

God has chosen to use weak, flawed, uneducated and very average people in history to do some extraordinary things. Why? God got all the glory for working through such ordinary people. My doubt in believing God is going to use to me to do some extraordinary things was called out. I had to admit my guilt and surrender in repentance.

I know God plans to use me on a broader scale as an author and I think this Forty Days To Shake the City devotional book is part of that plan. My job is to seek Him and grow in Him and let the overflow of that walk with the Lord come out in my books and blogs. It is totally up to God how far and wide that writing ministry goes. All I know is that God desires to use me as a writer so I keep writing.

The other thing I know for certain is God has called me to pastor Faith Community Church. Many have doubted and debated this call but I know for sure this is where God wants me and time will prove it out.  This is once again a labor for love for me. God has pulled back the veil on this vision just enough to reinvigorate my love for Him, this flock, and this community.

I know many of you who read these blogs doubt God to use you in mighty ways. I have heard many of you say so with my own ears. You are to be convicted just as I was today. God is not looking for more talent and more ability. He is looking for more submission and more availability. I have given Him that in my life. God and I communed today for hours to settle this. I have come out accepting God's will and plans no matter how long it takes. He desires to use me in greater ways.

Will you trust and submit? Why can God not use you as much as He used other normal people in the past. Maybe you consider yourself below average. Perfect! All the more reason for you to trust in Him and boast in Him when He works through you. As Henry Blackaby has written when you say God cannot use you, you are saying more about what you believe about God and His ability than yourself.

What do I say today. I am the Lord's. I am available for small assignments or larger ones. I will walk in the good works He prepared for me beforehand because I am His workmanship in Christ Jesus. [Eph 2:10] I will love Him and serve Him and trust the results to Him.

Regardless of the assignment God has entrusted to you, whether big or small, God wants our faith and faithfulness. I intend to give Him both in my life. Do not be surprised as you see Faith Community grow in attendance and influence. Do not be surprised when you discover my books in bookstores around world. Those are the things I believe God for and I believe He wills for me.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Nine

Today my mind has been filled with the truth that God, the Almighty, the Sovereign Lord, The Great I Am, Jehovah, Creator, Father and so much more welcomes me into His presence. Insignificance welcomed into the room with ultimate significance. Unholiness granted access to Supreme Holiness through the blood of Jesus Christ. Imperfection ushered into the presence of perfection.

My God. Not just a god of the masses created by my own hands. All strength, power, righteousness, wisdom, purity, compassion, justice, gracious, patient, kind, loving all contained in God. He being superior stoops down to to me the inferior to relate to me. Me of all people. He meets with me. He teaches me. He strengthens me. He comforts me. He empowers me. He convicts me of sin. He forgives. He restores. He reveals His truth. He opens closed doors. He moves mountains and clears the path for His will to be done. He does all of this for me. I know He also does it for others but today I am humbled by the truth that He does all these things for ME!

So when I pray and seek Him I am not seeking some obscure mythical figure. I am seeking the real living, active, attentive, assertive God of this universe. This God relates back to me. He meets with me and they joy and communion we share with one another are the sweetest experiences of my life. Better than my wedding day or honeymoon. Better than the births of my children. Better than my first vehicle or first house. Like the Psalmist I say in the presence of the Lord is fullness of joy and in his right hand are pleasures forever. [Ps 16:11]

There is deep and abiding soul satisfaction I am discovering in these prolonged times with my Lord on this glorious pursuit. I lose track of time. My soul is enraptured in God's presence and nothing else matters during those times. My soul is set aflame by the presence of God. I have not set out for any special experiences. My quest has been to know more of God and in that I am experiencing more Him each day. He is enough to satisfy.

The love of God shed abroad in my heart is overwhelming like a person standing in the ocean overwhelmed by the waves as they break on the shore. His love is so penetrating, fulfilling, awe inspiring and most of all so undeserved. I know my short comings all to well. I am impulsive like Peter. Eager to jump out the boat but also easily to sink when I take my eyes off Jesus. He is quick to reach out and rescue me from myself.

Still God has made all that He is and has available to me. His power, provision, wisdom, peace, comfort, strength, refuge, resources, renewal and revival all available to me when I seek Him and pray. I have all I need in Him. This is what He has shown me today on this glorious pursuit.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Eight

My days are given to a familiar routine lately. More and more of my time is taken up in prayer and conversing with the Lord. These have been some of the sweetest encounters in all the days I have been a follower of Jesus. His presence is real. The word of God is coming alive to me daily as I read truth. My ears are attentive to His voice. In all of this I have found a contentment I have not known for years.

I am settled in my mind and heart. My mission is increasingly clear. My focus in set toward the Lord and revival. Every day seems like an adventure and I am eager to get before the Lord and pour my heart out to Him but more importantly to hear Him speak to me.

He is making me glad. I can say I rejoice in the Lord and He has made me glad. Day by day and at times hour by hour He makes me glad. These are good days. As I continue to devote myself to this glorious pursuit I am finding [Jer 29:13] true. "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." I am seeking the Lord with all my heart and daily I am discovering more of Him. Though we have not even attended one minute of a revival service I am being revived.

I have wasted so much in time in pursuit of growing a church, making financial ends meet, and other lesser things. In these days God has become the pursuit. I can truly say I have sought for Him with all my heart and in doing so He is opening the scriptures and meeting with me in profound ways. There is no place I would rather be than shut up with Him enjoying His presence.

Why are we content with less than the fullness of God's presence at work in our lives and churches? Why are we content with dutiful devotions devoid of precious presence of God? Why are we so easily distracted from making God our pursuit? [Ps 40:16] "Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; let those who love your salvation say continually, the Lord be magnified."

Can you say the Lord is the cause of your rejoicing and gladness. He is the source of gladness. Other things may make us happy for a season but only God can truly bring everlasting gladness into our hearts. He is our reason to rejoice regardless of what we are facing. I say great is the Lord and may He be magnified, exalted, and promoted on this earth.

Do we love God's salvation. I will not forget the days of confusion and darkness before I knew the Lord. I am still humbled that a prayer of repentance and asking Jesus for salvation changed everything. I walked out of that football stadium a new man. Over two decades later God is still making me a new man. I am learning to humble myself and to be a servant as Jesus served others. I still want others to know the greatness of this salvation and as recently as this past Sunday I preached this message to all who attended. I seek opportunities to share this good news with people outside of church.

I want everyone to know what a great God we serve. I live to promote the greatness of God through writing and through preaching. He is the big deal. I am not a big deal at all. He must increase while I continue to decrease. [Jn 3:30]

Today the desire to seek more of God only intensifies. The more I meet with Him and experience Him the more I long for Him. These are some the greatest days in my pilgrimage with the Lord. I yearn for Him more and more. Time is nearing for me leave the office. I have other commitments. Like the old hymn goes, "The joy we share as we tarry there none other has ever known."There is no way I could sum up what these days have meant or what I have experienced while locked away with the Lord. He has my undivided attention and my affection. I love Him but I long to love Him more.

What do I hope to get out of these writings? I hope some dry and weary soul will come across these and find them an oasis of spiritual revival for their souls. I write this hoping others might be motivated to seek God with all their hearts and to find Him in ways they have never experienced before. The glorious pursuit of God and revival is not a pursuit of a few days or a few weeks. It is the pursuit of a lifetime. It is a relentless pursuit. It is the pursuit of gladness and rejoicing. Pursue with me.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Seven

God chose me. He chose me before the foundations of the world to preach. Long I have identified with [Jeremiah 1:5] "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." I did not choose this profession. God chose me. He appointed me.

Part of God choosing me is the prophetic ministry He has given me. I have often preached hard messages. Many times those messages have been rejected. There have been times when I also have been rejected. I have only sought to preach what the Lord has put on my heart. I firmly believe we do not need more sermons but we do need fresh words from God.

Today God has reminded me He chose me to be prophet and a pastor. Though I am one in the same person these two callings have distinct ramifications. The prophetic ministry appears to me to be that call of God to minister outside Faith Community Church. It is that burning desire in me to see revival and spiritual awakening.  For over two decades God has consistently opened doors for me to go and preach in other settings and especially to teenagers. When preaching revivals and camps I believe I minister as a prophet. My other calling is to serve as pastor to Faith Community Church. This calling is to love, nurture, protect, and feed the flock God has entrusted to me. When I stand in the pulpit to preach to the body at Faith Community and minister to people as needs arise I minister as a pastor. Two distinct callings but the same person.

Many people think prophets no longer exist today. A prophet by my definition is simply someone who hears from God and delivers the message God gives. Many times these messages are hard. They are meant to call people to repentance and salvation. In our tickle the ear church society prophets and their messages are not well received.

Prophets are people who walk extremely close to the Lord. God speaks to prophets on a level unknown to many followers of Jesus. "Indeed, the Lord God does nothing without revealing His counsel to His servants the prophets." [Amos 3:7]

Does God still do this? Does He still set aside some to be His spokesman? Does He still reveal His counsel to prophets? Though many will debate that all I can say is God has been speaking to me. In fact, He has been speaking to me in such an intimate way I have been tempted to doubt it really is of God.

Today one of the things God placed on my heart is that I am not to doubt His words. In fact I am to believe them by faith and to consider them sweet to my taste. "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" [Ps 119:103]

Again we read in Jeremiah, "Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant." [Jeremiah 1:9-10]

Like Jeremiah I go where God sends me and I say what God tells me. [Jeremiah 1:7-8] This is shaky ground. When a prophet prophesied in the Old Testament and if the prophesy did not come true they were considered to be a false prophet and were stoned. This made hearing from God before speaking for God all the more crucial.

Many who preach today do not hear from God. They are only echoes of what they have heard others preach or read what others have written. Hearing from God for a prophet is crucial. There are many who say they hear from God but what they say never comes to pass. Others say they hear from God and what they say comes to pass but nobody listens.

On this glorious pursuit one of the things I am enjoying most is hearing from God. He has spoken to me about many things. Some I share in messages. Some are personal and meant for me only. Other things are directions in prayer.

I have never received anything I would consider as weighty as a prophesy for others. That is until recently. I believe the Lord has given me a prophesy of what He intends to do during the Paradise Shake the City Revival scheduled for July 15th. There is no ending date. This is part of the prophesy. So in obedience to the Lord I am sharing this today as His prophet. I will be judged on whether this comes to pass. My confidence is in the Lord. I cannot make this prophesy come true but He can.

Here it is:

"Revival is coming. Revival will sweep through Paradise like a Spring Storm. The Spirit will descend like a thick fog. Sinners will repent and the lost will be saved. Sustain the revival through prayer. This is bigger than Faith Community Church. It will last longer than you think. The city is about to be shaken. Do not ask when to end it. You will know when it is over. The revival flame will spread all over Wise County and beyond. The revival must be sustained through prayer."

By faith I have declared this and I believe it to come true.

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Six

 Turner sat in my lap as we went through devotions together. He is hungry for God. He is eager to answer the questions in Bible study class. He does not always get the answers right but he is listening and wants to learn. We talked about deep things. We talked about repentance, hypocrisy, resting in and enjoying God. Pretty deep stuff for a kid who just finished third grade.

I recall times in my life when I hungered and yearned for God like that. When I first got saved I had an insatiable appetite for God and His word. I bought my own Bible and took it to class with me. I became so engrossed reading about the crucifixion of Jesus in English class I did not even hear the bell the ring to end class.

I've enjoyed seasons with the Lord when prayers just seemed to flow. Hours past and I had no recollection of time. In those moments my soul became caught up with the Lord and all that mattered to me was seeking Him and hearing from Him. Those encounters with have been so real it seemed God was sitting right next to me.

There have been other seasons in my life when Bible reading and prayer seemed like a chore. There were times I willed myself to do these things but had very little enjoyment in them. There have been numerous times when I did not feel I got anything out of it. I still had devotions but they lost the savor for me. My mind and heart were distracted by other things. God was not the chief ambition of my life in those moments.

O, today I pray for the heart of a little child like Turner. Not being loaded down with burdens and responsibilities I long to simply love Jesus and to remain at His feet. I long for the heart to want to know more about Him, more of Him experientially, and to unashamedly tell others about Him. As we grow up responsibilities increase but often our childlike faith and love for Jesus shrink at the same time.

On this glorious pursuit I long for more of God. Other things I have longed for and chased after have faded. They are not the chief ambitions of my life. This is not fanciful talk or something that looks good in print. In these days the chief ambition of my life is to seek more of God and to serve Him more faithfully.

I spent an entire day mowing. Temperatures peaked at 98 today. Tanner nearly got overheated wearing a black t-shirt. What I would have rather been doing is seeking the presence in the Lord in the solitary confines of my office. I would have rather been lost in the contemplation of a scripture than sitting on a mower. Yet, I found myself praying for the lost and talking to God even as I mowed. His presence never left me. The chair in my office can be a sanctuary as well as the seat on a mower.

David reflected the heart I long for in Ps 63:1-2. "O God you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh yearns for you as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary beholding your power and glory."

I hunger and thirst for more of God. Earnestly I seek more Him. I also want to see more of His power and glory displayed in all the churches and across the land. I will not settle for the cheap imitations of large crowds, cutting edge technology, or well oiled programs. I am not saying God cannot and does not use those things. I just know in my life I have contented myself on those broken cisterns in the past and found in and of themselves they do not hold water. No, I am after something grander. I have the person of God in my sights wanting more of Him poured out fresh in my heart and daily experience.

I have found a sweet satisfaction in this glorious pursuit I have not known in a long time. I have foolishly chased other things. I have chased the American dream, my own dreams, and ministry dreams. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of the only thing that really matters and that is God Himself. He has narrowed my focus.

I can say in this moment I desire nothing more than God. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire more than you." [Ps 73:25] Not a larger church. Not a larger salary. Not a larger house. I am not saying I never desire those things but in this moment none of those hold greater sway over my heart than more of God. He is my glorious pursuit.

As the glorious pursuit continues I feel like an explorer climbing a mountain. When I finally get high enough to get over one peak it expands my view to see endless ranges and peaks. This glorious pursuit is the endless climb upward in God for eternity. It is my life's ambition. Each day God allows me to see a little more of Him and to experience more of Him. There is a contentment in this. I feel more peace and more settled than I have in a year and a half. For the first time in a long time God is my glorious pursuit. He is the chief object of my affections. Other things that long distracted me have lost their luster. There is nothing I desire on this planet more than God at this moment.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Glorious Pursuit - Day Five

As God continues to work deep in my heart, today, that was manifested in two very distinct ways. First, I was challenged to be authentic in my walk with the Lord and not to fake it. I take that to mean I am not to act before people like I am more spiritual than I really am. God wants to be so real in my life, more real than the breakfast I ate. Out of those encounters with Him comes the passion to love and worship Him and the strength to serve Him.

It is easy to fake it before the people of God. All you really have to do is show up. How many of us show up to the worship service without a heart to worship? I have been there. I have been so consumed in my life at times I made little effort to turn my full attention and affection to God. Worship really is giving God the worth He deserves. Yet, Sunday after Sunday and the rest of the week we fake it. People play music in church worship services more concerned with their performance than their worship. Praise singers sing wanting to perform well desiring glory for their talents rather than singing to the King of Kings. Worship ministers become distracted by all the preparations and nuances of public worship and forget to worship themselves. Preachers become so focused on delivering the sermon they neglect to enjoy the presence of God and preach from insincere hearts.

Many of you reading this are faking it. You are not close to God. Truth is you have not had an authentic encounter with God in a long long time. Your heart is dry and withered. You are doing for God but you are not authentic with God. Instead of being real and asking the people of God to pray for us and to help we continue to fake it. God wants sincere hearts. He wants authentic lives that are consistent on the inside and the outside. You may continue attending and even serving in some capacity but do you feel. Do you feel the heat of God's presence burning in your heart? Do you feel the passion intensifying to love and long for more of God.

I do not want to fake it. This morning I got to my office at 4:00 a.m. That was not planned last night. I get up when God wakes me up. I began seeking Him. Nearly three hours have passed and all I have been doing is enjoying His presence and seeking more of Him. I have pleaded with God to make me authentic on the inside. For some that might seem like a chore but the truth is I cannot believe it has been three hours. What did I do during that time?

I read scripture. I prayed. I listened to worship music. I sat before the Lord and listened to what He had to say to me. I meditated on scripture. I rested in His presence and adored Him. I repented of not being more authentic and striving hard i9n my strength to advance the kingdom more than abiding in Him and trusting Him to do it through me. I am ending my time writing.

God is increasing in me a desire to linger in His presence. Like A.W. Tozer, I prefer to keep company with the Lord more than with people. I kid you not. In recent days I have torn myself away from this office but more importantly from seeking and enjoying the Lord to fulfill other obligations. I have not had this office very long, but I can already tell you I have had some of the most significant encounters with the Lord in my life. He is speaking to me like I have never heard Him speak in the near three decades I have been a Christian.

At one point I remember telling the Lord I was in no hurry today. Yes, I needed to put the final touches on the message to preach later this morning, but that all paled in light of enjoying God. Prayer does not feel like a duty but is a delight for my soul. In fact the first words of my prayer began with, "Lord, before I even entertain getting the final touches on the message this morning I want to meet with you." I have met with Him.

God manifested His presence in a second way today. He beckoned me to lean back against Him and to rest. He let me sit on His lap today not to ask Him for anything but to simply love Him and to receive His love. It reminds me of what happened last night when Turner climbed up in my lap in my recliner. I  was kicked back relaxing and he put his head on my chest and wrapped his little arms around me without saying anything. He loved me. I reached down and kissed him on the head and loved him. That is exactly what God and I have been doing for the past three hours. We have been loving on each other. It has been real. It has been tender.

After the past several days of conviction this morning has proven to be an oasis. I have laid down in the green pastures of God's presence and He has renewed my soul by the quiet waters of His love. [Ps 23:2] It has been peaceful, relaxing, and enjoyable. When I go to the house of God today I am ready to enjoy Him, worship Him, and to love His people.

When is the last time you climbed up onto God's lap and simply loved Him? Just as importantly when is the last time you climbed up onto God's lap and received His love? He is offering that today. He is offering His real presence today. Don't settle for the cheap substitutes of ritualistic worship attendance and routines. Do not exchange your days for broken cisterns that can hold no water. [Jer 2:13] God has so much more to offer us than just going to church. There is more than attending another Bible study or listening to another sermon. God is offering fresh experiences with Him.

I confess I do not need a congregation or worship music for that to happen. I have learned to enjoy God and to seek God in private. This only serves to make seeking God in public more enjoyable. I do not know one song we will sing at Faith Community later this morning but I can already tell you my heart is ready to declare the profession of my faith. I am ready to sing to Jesus. I am ready to let my singing and the expression of my love for God ascend from my mouth and heart as a pleasing aroma to Him.

I have enjoyed God this morning. What He is doing inside me is real. It is the next step in this glorious pursuit.