My pursuit began yesterday sitting in a rocking chair on our back porch. The temperatures were cool and the gentle breezes made it perfect to sit outside to meet with the Lord. Once again I lost track of time as He and I communed with one another.
I once again yielded my life and ministry to Him. I surrendered my all to follow Him and to carry out His assignments. Once again I had to repent of some areas in my life where the Lord has been shaping me like a potter but I have been resisting the sculpting of His hands. He knows what He is doing. I cannot always see the end result. He does and I have to trust Him.
Sometimes the pressure from His hands is uncomfortable and downright painful at other times. This is where I have sinned. God uses trials to shape us and I wanted out of the trials of not selling our house in Seminole or having our own place to live here in Paradise. God convicted me on two levels. First, like so many other things it comes down to trust. Do I trust the Potter to shape and guide my life and circumstances for His glory and my own good? Second, am I willing to submit to the pressure of His will and allow Him to mold me into a vessel for His glory no matter what that means or how long it takes?
Those are two big things. How do I know how God is using my life to bring glory to Him. All I can see is the here and now. All I can see is this computer screen and the words that pour out of my soul. I have no way of knowing how many will read this or if God is using my life and writings in anyone else. I preach to a few dozen people each Sunday morning. I am not sure how God is using that. I write books like the forty days devotion book Faith Community Church is currently going through but have no way of knowing if people are encountering God like I have been.
In some ways packing up my truck and driving away from Seminole was the easier part last July 24th to plant this church. Not easier emotionally but easier in the fact that I had a God sized dream and great faith to pursue that dream. There were so many unknowns but excitement in following God to a new adventure overshadowed all of that. I trusted God to come through in big ways as we laid it all on the line to follow Him.
I left Seminole with a little cash. I remember the first Sunday looking at my remaining cash and tithed. I offered this prayer for God to provide for me. That same week a lady from East Texas sent a check for $500 and so the first miracle came. I had no way of knowing that I would live in an RV for four months. I had no way of knowing I would be separated from Brenda, Tanner, Tucker, and Turner for the one whole month. When they finally did join Taylor and I in paradise during the next three months Brenda and the boys would live in the home of one of our church members while I resided in the RV on the same property. I never felt more like a failure than in those days.
I fought and resisted this pressure every step of the way. I did not yield to the pressure from God's hands. I prayed. I wept. I questioned why. Sustained by the prayers of God's people I stayed the course. I went through so many emotional roller coaster experiences. Some days I would hold on to hope that God would come through. He did. He used people from East Texas to West Texas to provide for us during the lean months. Sometimes we receive $500 in the mail. One time a man from Seminole delivered $7,000 to us from those wonder people at FBC Seminole and from the town. There were other dark days when I lost sight of the dream and sunk into a cavern of doubt and despair.
After four months God opened a door for us to live in the house we are in now. The church provided us with a rent house and for the first time in four months my family all slept under one roof. The trials did not end. I resisted God's pressure once again wanting our own home. The rent house is the smallest place we have ever lived in as a family of six. We have now lived in that house seven months. We endured cold winter days and nights. We survived a wild dog living under the house. We made Christmas work buying a little tree we had to set up in the hallway near the front door. I resisted God's pressure every step of the way in living in that house and our house not selling.
I also went through a several month bout with despair when I lost sight of the dream of Faith Community Church. Like Peter taking his eyes off Jesus and looking at the waves when he walked on the water, I too began to sink. Those were dark dark days. Notice that is past tense. I praise God He has delivered me. I felt like I was treading water in a stormy sea back then. I also felt very alone. It took all the faith and energy I had to get through those days. All I wanted was relief from the financial pressures of starting a church and the financial stress in our own lives with our house not selling. Instead of submitting to the pressure from the Lord to shape me into a vessel of honor I resisted.
A few weeks ago all of that changed. To be honest it all started with a quiet time when the Lord met with me in a very real and personal way. I know in the days that have followed I began to experience personal revival. In these days I have spent my days seeking the Lord for extended periods. My devotions have been rich and I have enjoyed sweet communion with Him like I have never experienced before. He speaks to me. I am eager to get before Him. I am reluctant to leave.
So yesterday morning after reading [Jer 18:6] I surrendered. I yielded every facet of my life to His desire and design. I repented of those areas where I have resisted His work in my life over the past several months. In some areas the Lord has revealed the future for me. He has repainted the dream of Faith Community Church in my heart and mind. It is grand dream worth giving my life to. In other areas I walk forward blindly trusting Him and His word to give me direction one step at a time. [Ps 119:105] Either way, like Paul, I am learning to be content in all my circumstances. [Phil 4:11-13]
This has been quite a journey. We are approaching the one year birthday at Faith Community Church. We have come a long way over these past eleven months with God's help and provision. After months of using cafes, libraries, a RV, and my living room I rejoice that God has provided an office for me. It is not just an office. This is also my secret place to meet with God. When people walk into this office they will never know the encounters I have had with God. They will be unaware of the hours I have spent on this glorious pursuit. They will not be able to hear the voice of God as I have been privileged to hear as I lingered in His presence. This office is a blessing in so many ways. None more important to me than I have a place to get alone with Him. In His presence I plead for the souls of the lost. I labor for the kingdom of God. I have a quiet place to collect my thoughts and to write. I have a place to study for messages. I love this office but only because I love the fact that God meets with me here.
I got up early this morning and turned on the television to catch the weather forecast. Afterward I flipped to a news channel. While catching up on the latest news God began wooing me to this office for a season with Him. I turned the television off grabbed my keys and headed out the door. This is where my heart yearns to be.
And what God taught me yesterday is to submit to His plan. He knows what He is doing and I am firmly convinced His plans are best. I may not sell my house in Seminole for a long long time. It is leased through April of 2013. I may not buy a house for even longer or God may work a miracle unlike anything I have ever seen. Either way I let Him mold me and apply the pressure through trials.
Faith Community is a little under two weeks from moving our Sunday morning worship service out of the high school cafeteria and into the warehouse we are converting to a sanctuary. God has brought us a long way from that first Sunday in a daycare back on July 31, 2011. We have moved from the jr. high cafeteria to the high school cafeteria. Two times we had to make adjustments and meet in two different gymnasiums. I have met with our students in a different gymnasium on Wednesday nights and for a couple of months we met in the bleachers at the football stadium. Now they meet in the warehouse. God has faithfully guided us and provided for us every step of the way. In a few days I am going with a bus load of 49 people to beach camp. Forty-three students are making this trip and we have not had our own place to meet until a few weeks ago.
One day someone is going to read the history of my life and the story of Faith Community Church and are going to be inspired by the miracle working power of God. Some church planter with a huge dream is going to follow God in starting a church. They are going to go through some tough times. They are going to contemplate giving up and somehow God will let them read our story. When they read and see what God has done they are going to be inspired by God to keep going. The kingdom of God will be advanced and they too will see their own miracle story unfold.
God is using my trials to bring glory to His name. If this had been easy few could relate. Everyone can relate to things like battling depression, trusting God in adversity, perseverance, and learning to be content in God alone. People can relate to not having overnight success but steadily pressing on. People can relate to financial trials personally as well as in the church. To this day we have not one time passed an offering plate at Faith Community. We set up two offering boxes and trust God to move the people to give. Some give who do not even attend the services. God has provided for my family through Faith Community, people who love us all over the state, and a budding mowing business. I have God's assurance He will use my writing ministry to bless my family with provision someday as well.
Though I do not understand many things about the way God has guided my life I know I am willing and desire to yield to the Potter. At times His work in my life may resemble gentle pressure from His hands. At other times I may feel the pain of the chisel as He removes things from my life. Through it all I am convinced God has a beautiful purpose in mind for my life and Faith Community Church. I am eager to live out those purposes.
I remain in the Potter's hand. I eagerly submit to His pressure. I pray with all my might God is using me for His glory. I plead with the Lord He is using this glorious pursuit to whet the appetite of others who yearn for more than dry and stale religion. I pray God uses Faith Community Church in ways none of us could have ever anticipated. Today I continue to yield to the Potter's touch on this glorious pursuit.
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