Saturday, September 29, 2012

Lessons Learned: Totally Surrender

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." [Rom 12:1]

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."        [Gal 2:20]

Some lessons are harder to learn than others. While away on the prayer retreat the second lesson the Lord brought to me convicted me of totally surrendering. This meant going way back and learning to die to every dream, claim, hope, aspiration, and agenda I ever had for my life. Voluntarily climbing upon God's altar and surrendering everything is not easy. On that altar I had to die, not in the physical realm, but in the emotional and spiritual realm. I had to let go of everything I have kept firmly in my grasp.

I had to die to the dream of being a widely published author. I had to surrender to the possibility my books will never be best sellers. I had to fully embrace the possibility that I will never be published wider than the town I live and minister in and I have to be okay with that. I also have to die to any dream of success as a pastor as that might relate to a large church. If God wills me to shepherd a group of one hundred or less I have to accept that joyfully. If I never have retirement money set aside and spend the rest of my days trusting God for my daily bread then so be it.

Totally surrendering might be the hardest lesson I had to learn. I am still learning it. You see Paul wrote for us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. When something is alive it can wiggle and squirm on the altar until it has freed itself. This is what I have done over the last year. I climbed upon the altar as I left Seminole over a year ago but I struggled to squirm free because the pain became too great. God desires all of us to voluntarily lay our lives on the altar. The altar was a place a slaughter. Do not miss this truth. To get on the altar means to die to our rights, plans, agendas, hopes, and dreams. It means God gets to call the shots without asking our permission or opinion.

Likewise the crucified life is not easy. It is painful to die to dreams. Here are just a few things I died to. I died to the right that I do not have to serve as both pastor and youth pastor at Faith Community Church. I died to the right that I will one day not have to mow and be bi-vocational. I died to ever serving a large church. I died to selling thousands upon thousands of books. I died to home ownership. I died to driving the latest cars, wearing the most fashionable clothing, and having my pockets chock full of cash.

Totally surrendering means crucifying every right you think you have or deserve on your life. Some of those rights do not die easily. They will not surrender without a life and death struggle. Only Christ can put those things to death. Only He can hammer in the last nail.

Strangely when I let go of the reigns of my life and quit fighting and resisting God a peace came. I had to die to ever having a long term ministry in any church. I had to let go of Faith Community Church, FBC Seminole and FBC Paradise. My life is laid on the altar of God and He has every right to do with me as He pleases. One of the liberating things about seeking to totally surrender is all the pressure is taken off me to perform. All I have to do is to follow and obey.

I recall three and a half years ago being asked to travel to FBC Seminole to preach a Disciple Now.  The church did not have a pastor at the time and the youth minister came to me on Saturday afternoon telling me the search committee was interested in me. I had been at FBC Paradise for four years and really thought I would spend the rest of my life in that ministry. We were very contented there.

I wrestled with God in prayer all that afternoon. I ended up changing the message that night and preached a message more for me than anyone else in that church. I preached from [Rom 12:1] During the invitation I walked down from the stage and went over to where the organ was located. I knelt down and prayed this prayer, "Lord if nobody else in this room really means they will lay their lives down for you I mean it. If that means I have to uproot my comfortable life in Paradise to come to Seminole I will do it. My life is yours and you can do with me as you please." Four months later I became the pastor of FBC Seminole. My life remained on the altar while serving in Seminole and two years later it seemed the Lord called me to pack up and leave to start a church. Again my life being crucified with Christ had no rights. I had to follow and obey.

While on the prayer retreat I prostrated myself on the floor of that cabin. With no one around but the Lord and me, I once again climbed onto God's altar and offered my whole life. I made myself available to stay at Faith Community Church for the remainder of my days. I made myself available to go anywhere else He might lead in the future. I even made myself available to leave the pastoral ministry and begin traveling as an evangelist full time if He wanted. Nothing off limits. Nothing held back. Total and absolute surrender as best I knew how to offer it. I gave God my yes without even knowing what all that might mean in the future.

At least for now that is to serve as the founder and pastor of Faith Community Church in Paradise, TX. All I can see is right in front of me. I do not have any other agenda. Regardless of whether I am blessed to be entrusted with a large flock or a large traveling ministry I am crucified with Christ. I have no rights to call the shots in my life or to rebel against the hardships. No matter if road is smooth or rough I yield. I give up controls. I surrender totally.

While on the retreat I read a book about some missionaries who really had to suffer a great deal of personal grief and loss in the cause of Christ. Their response to God in the midst of heart wrenching trials and tragedies humbled and convicted me. John Paton had to dig the graves for his wife and child and bury them alone on foreign soil. He did not quit and he kept trusting God though his heart was shattered. He spent many a day and night at those two graves grieving and grappling for peace. God sustained Him because he was totally surrendered. Adoniram Judson buried two wives and seven children as he served Christ in Burma. He labored for multiple decades. He witnessed for Christ for six years before ever seeing the first person come to Christ for salvation. Judson lived crucified with Christ and never gave up.

When you are really crucified with Christ you die. You die to the rights of a comfortable, secure, and trial free life. So in the living room of that little prayer cabin I died. I offered God my life. All of it and no part of willfully held back. Total surrender. No matter the difficulties. No matter how much my reputation is slandered. No matter how hard the road gets. I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live. Jesus Christ lives in and through the man known as Matt Edwards. I do not know where I will end up but I do know where I will start. On the altar of God as a totally surrendered living sacrifice.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Lessons Learned: Learn to be Content

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." [Phil 4:11-13]

There is a lot packed into this lesson. It proved to be a painful reminder for me. I have not been content most of my life and for sure in most of my ministry. A friend challenged me with this truth. I spent hours praying through these verses and meditating on each significant word. Here is what I learned.

Paul said first of all he learned to be content. The word means to increase in knowledge, to be informed, to learn by practice and to be in the habit of. I take this to mean that contentment is not something you and I come by naturally. Think about it. Ever heard a child talking about what they want for their birthday or Christmas while surrounded by toys. How often do you get a new car or change your cell phone when a new model comes out. Have you ever changed your hair color or hair style.

We are bombarded with messages in this country that combat our being content. Now what does the  word content mean? To be satisfied with one's lot, to be satisfied independent of external circumstances. It is one thing to be content after eating a fine meal surrounded by loved ones. It is easy to be satisfied then. Paul is not just talking about being satisfied when you are on top of the world. He is talking about being satisfied when you have a lot and when you have little. He is telling us he learned the secret of being content regardless of the circumstances surrounding his life. He wrote that in prison waiting to be executed. Remember content means to be satisfied independently of external circumstances.

Don't we do just the opposite? Don't our external circumstances dictate our contentment in life. When the business grows and the profit margins increase it is easy to be satisfied in life. When everyone in the family is experiencing good health it is easy to be satisfied. It is much harder when the business fails, or when you find someone you love with cancer. It is harder when your child rebels against the Lord. Contentment is hard to grasp when your dreams get shattered and when you wonder why God delays in answering your prayer. When you suffer for doing what is right is increasingly difficult to be satisfied. When your little girls dies and you watch helplessly it is hard to be content burying her and leaving her remains at the cemetery while you go home to tormented nights and endless tears.

How does anyone learn to be content regardless of your external circumstances? This is a truth I am determined to know. Paul said he had learned the secret of such a life. That means it is a mystery and not obvious to the understanding. I spent some fair amount of time this week praying and asking God to show me the secret of contentment.

I too have been blessed with abundance and I have also known some very lean times. At times I was not content in both set of circumstances. What is the secret? How do you and I learn this truth at the core of our being?

The secret is that Jesus strengthens us. That means he empowers us to endure and to live day in and day out. He increases our strength to overcome adversity. He enables us to remain strong and robust when life rolls over us like a freight train. He helps us endure when everything around us starts to shake and crumble like the foundation of a house in a major earthquake.

If Paul was just another self-help guru promoting his latest book I would not be interested. What gets my attention is Paul suffered. Read about it in [II Cor 11:24-29]. He suffered more than we can imagine and yet his counsel for us is to learn to be satisfied in life regardless of our external circumstance.

This truth hit me like a wrecking ball. How much of my life have I spent not living with contentment? I am ashamed to admit it has been a great deal. In the beginning I thought I would be content once I finished school. After that I thought contentment would come after getting married. Next, it was getting a ministry job. Following that I wanted to be in full time ministry. I next wanted to be a full time pastor. Following this I wanted to go into full time evangelism. Next I wanted to start a church. I wanted our own home. You get the picture. Contentment came for a season in each of those situations but so did the trials and lack of satisfaction.

I recall eating lunch with a friend a few years ago. He has worked for the same company for close to thirty years. I told him I admired him. I asked if he ever had the chance to move or thought about moving. He told me no. He simply said it never entered his mind. He had advanced and been promoted through the years but never entertained leaving the company he has worked for all these years. He is the model of contentment.

People lose contentment in their marriages. They think divorce will bring contentment and soon after they are looking for someone they can marry again. People hop from job to job hoping to find that magical place where they can be happy. People buy and sell cars, homes, and other things all in search of that elusive dream of contentment.

Learning contentment is a new commitment for me. While on my prayer retreat I wrote down several things to help me in this quest to live with contentment.
 1.   I must become a diligent student keeping this truth before me daily.
 2.   I must memorize [Phil 4:11-13] so it is readily available in my mind.
 3.   I must learn this truth experientially. I must live it out in my practical experience.
 4.   I have to submit to Christ's Lordship to be content.
 5.   Regardless of my circumstances Jesus strengthens me to be content.
 6.   Faith brings trust and trust ushers in contentment.

So lesson one for this series is learn to be content. That might start with multiple little thank you's to God each day to help us be satisfied. Contentment can be learned. That means it can also be experienced in our lives. Let's learn this together.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Getting Away

For the first time in fifteen months I got away to the prayer cabin I often retreat to for renewal and direction from the Lord. I just returned into town. I am not sure if I had ever needed such a retreat anymore badly than I needed this one.

My faith had ebbed pretty low. I exhibited many signs associated with burnout. Depression hung over me like a fog. I found myself dutifully getting through the duties of the day but had lost the delight. I knew something was broken in me that I could not fix. I still had my quiet times. I still read scripture. In an act of desperation I rearranged a few things in my schedule, talked with our leadership team and made the three hour trip away to the prayer cabin this past Sunday.

I could not believe it had been fifteen months since the last time I had gotten away to pray and recharge.  I am going to write a series of blogs over the next several days of some basic lessons the Lord reminded me of while there. They were often painful lessons.

When the four days came to an end I was actually excited to return to my life and ministry in Paradise. I had two main counselors on that trip. One I talked to extensively on the phone and the other was my host at the retreat. My host and I shared several meals together and several lengthy conversations. I want to thank my Father in Heaven most. He knew what I needed. He met with me in profound ways. He counseled me in ways the other two could not. He renewed me in every way I needed to be renewed.

Everyday while away I woke up with a phrase in my mind along with some scripture. Each day the message differed from the previous day and to be factual I received more than one such message each day. Each specific in nature and a timely message directed to my heart. I had to do some repenting, dying, refocusing, and deep reflecting. Those few days were well worth it.

I hope you will tune in over the next several days as I share these timely messages. They hit the mark for me and I am sure they will do the same for you the reader. I feel recharged and ready for the battles ahead. Tune in for tomorrow and the days ahead to a series of blogs titled: "Lessons Learned."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Overcoming

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us." [Rom 8:37]

Paul wrote that we shall overwhelmingly conquer in all these things. What are these things? In verse 35 he gives us a list. Tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, and the sword.

Tribulation comes with pressure. The word literally means pressing together. I talked to a man at our church this week who told me about the pressure he feels under with his job. He has a performance based job. Everything depends on results. Right now the results are not so clearly evident. He feels the pressing together to perform at a higher level. This is leading him to feel stressed and overwhelmed.

Distress means to be in a narrow place. In our terminology this would refer to someone in a tight spot in life. It also can mean extreme affliction. I know many people living like this. The extremity of their affliction is heart wrenching. You wonder how such people get through each day. No matter how hard they work they can't seem to catch a break.

To be persecuted means to be harassed and troubled for one's faith. Persecution involves mistreatment. How many missionaries are mistreated. How many pastors and youth pastors are harassed by churches who do not appreciate them or want their ministry to continue. How many of their wives suffer silently with nobody to talk to and to share the pain. Living like this can lead to fear and bitterness.

To live in famine means to have scarcity of crops due to the weather. This often puts people in financial crisis. Having lived in west Texas I began to appreciate prayer for rain for the crops. A bad year of famine meant a bad year at harvest. This affects the livelihood of many farmers and that affects the local economies of many towns. Most people know what it is like to have a lack of financial resources. It is not a fun place or way to live.

Nakedness. To me this speaks of extreme poverty. When you are so poor you struggle to even have your basic needs met such as adequate clothing. Fall is setting in here at North Texas. In two weeks we have seen a a thirty degree shift in temperatures. Many people live without adequate clothing to stay warm in the winters. Most of us cannot relate to that but there are some who wear threadbare clothing. They cannot afford anything else.

Peril is to live in danger. There are followers of Christ around the world who live in danger every moment of everyday. They are hated and targeted to be killed and or persecuted. Many of these people will suffer a martyr's death.

The sword refers to living in war or contention. The most extreme cases refer to the battles between warring factions where soldiers are called in to settle disputes. There are also personal conflicts between  quarreling people that lead to contention.

Now if you take all of those things together, Paul said through Christ who loved us we overcome. We overwhelmingly conquer. That phrase means we gain surpassing victory. You might not feel you are gaining the victory. Your circumstances may be getting the best of you. Through Jesus we have access to personal victory. Not only that but surpassing victory.

The tendency is to give in to our perils, persecutions, distresses and discouragements. I did this yesterday. I poured out my frustrations in an email to a friend. God used the responding email to help me toward gaining the surpassing victory. Read just part of the email.

This life is hard, no doubt. I, myself, question at times where's the abundant life? But when I am still before Him, He brings to my mind this question, "where's my focus?" On Him or on my struggles, heartaches, sorrows, etc. cause when I focus on those things, (which is easy to do since at times those things out weigh the joys) man can I get discouraged! 

Those simple words proved to be an oasis in the desert of my experience. Reading them and thinking through them set me back on the right track. When my focus is on Jesus and not my circumstances I overcome. Like an athlete overcoming the competition I gain surpassing victory not by my will power but by my submission and trust in a Sovereign God. 

Like so many things that is easy to write but harder to live. I said yesterday I would learn to cope with disappointment through four things, scripture reading, thanksgiving, lingering in the Lord's presence, and filling my mind with faith lifting thoughts. I have done that today. 

I thanked God for the warm water in the shower after my workout. I thanked God for time with Taylor as we lifted weights before school. I thanked God for my breakfast. I thanked God for the solitude I have in this office. I thanked God for life, family, friends and health. 

I have lingered in God's presence and meditated on the scripture above. I am filling my mind with positive truth and thoughts that uplift faith.

Yes, my friend is right. Life is hard! Lingering in the Lord's presence I have peace and He helps me overcome whatever comes my way. Persecution, tight spots, financial pressure, poverty, and even danger. None of these things have the power to defeat me if I walk with God and keep my eyes on Him. When I do those things I overcome. I then gain the surpassing victory. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Coping With Disappointment

Today I am a disappointed man. Disappointed on many different levels. Suffice it say I carry a heavy heart. The reasons are not important. I write this wounded in my soul and disappointed. Mainly I direct my disappointment back to God.

Accompanied with my disappointment is fatigue. Bone weary fatigue emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Years of struggle in ministry have taken a toll. Like a battery slowly being drained so do I feel drained. Repeated quiet times help to get recharged for the short haul but I can tell there is something deeper broken in me than a quiet time can fix.

I am disappointed in how my life has turned out. I am extremely blessed with Brenda and the boys. I could not ask for anything else as far as family is concerned. I do wish I had a father to turn to in times like this for advice. One of my great disappointments is I feel I have few people to bear my soul to. I keep a lot of my disappointments pent up inside.

I am a broken man. Disappointment, fatigue, and broken all mixed together can either usher in a great work of God or lead me to despair. I have to cope with life's disappointments. There are many. They do not go away and I cannot run from them. Neither can I bury my head in the sand. I have to deal with them.

How? I will give you four ways I am seeking to cope with life's disappointments and pray God will use them in your life as well.

First, I will sit before the Lord and linger long in His presence. I may not say a word. I will sit and direct my focus toward Him. I will listen longer. I will content myself at His feet. Just being near Him comforts the soul. The circumstances may not change but I will be changed just being with Him.

Second, I will read His word voraciously. I have been devouring the scriptures in recent days reading through Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. His word holds hope for my soul. I will read like George Mueller advised people to read their Bibles. "Now what is food for the inner man? Not prayer, but the word of God; and hear again, not the simple reading of the word of God, so that it only passes through our minds, just as water passes through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering it over applying it to our hearts." I will continually seek to consider what I read, to ponder over it and to apply the truth to my situation.

Third, I will be thankful every day. I will find reasons to thank God for His blessings. I will count them and direct my gratitude back toward God reminding me daily of His faithfulness. [Phil 4:6] Like the old song, "Count your many blessings name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done." I will find reason every day to give thanks in private and in public.

Lastly, I will fill my mind with positive faith reinforcing thoughts. I will intentionally put things into mind and heart that strengthen and encourage my faith. I know life's disappointments tear away at faith so I will combat this with a mind filled with scripture and helpful literature. I will seek to dwell on the positive and to accentuate the positive aspects of life while seeking to diminish thoughts on life's disappointments.

In these ways I trust God to help me cope with disappointments. Lingering long in His presence, read scripture, be thankful, and filling my mind with positive faith reinforcing thoughts. In these simple ways I believe I will not only cope with disappointments but also overcome.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dedicate the Season to God

I stood before close to four dozen students last night with a blazing hot message on my heart. Dedicate the season to God. Things have not gone well around here at the start of this football season. The coaches feel the pressure which means their wives feel the pressure. The athletes feel the pressure, especially the seniors. I woke up with the phrase, "Dedicate the season to God," on my mind.

Using passages from [Jn 3:30] [I Cor 10:31] [Col 3:17] and [Ps 133:1] I shared a message about living and playing for the glory of God as the chief purpose. I witnessed dozens of teenagers fall to their knees  in repentance and in an act of surrendering their lives and teams to the Lord. I challenged them to get united in playing for the glory of God alone.

Those students have the influence to change the culture on Tuesday and Friday nights. They were challenged to play for something bigger than themselves. Bigger than school spirit. They were challenged to dedicate their seasons to God and to leave the results up to Him. When God is the big deal nobody is a superstar. They are a team. Everybody has a role and when every member trusts God to strengthen them so they can play to glorify His name great things are bound to happen.

At the end of the altar call the students gathered with their dance teams, junior high and varsity football and volleyball teams and band members to pray a prayer of dedication for the rest of the season and school year. What a beautiful sight. A group of junior high boys broke out after their prayer time with the chant, "Glory to God." That is what life is all about. Bringing more fame to the name of Jesus.

I am not talking about using Jesus as a good luck charm. He is way too wise and powerful to be manipulated that way. I am urging players, dancers, cheer leaders, and parents to think differently. Just as it is not all about your child or mine it is not about your school or mine. It is all about Jesus. I asked Jesus to enlarge the platforms of His followers so they can talk openly of Him. That is what this is all about.

I challenge adults to quit criticizing the coaches and to unite behind them and support of the team. Pray or them. Build them up. Stand united behind them. It is a beautiful thing when a community stands united. I challenge adults to quit focusing on the glory of your children and to challenge each child to play for something greater than themselves. I challenge the whole community to make the remainder of this season be about God getting the credit. With God's help nothing is impossible. I know a group of students who have already bought in. They are united in that purpose.

The culture is changing in Paradise. The changes may be small at this time but big doors swing on little hinges. Already I am hearing reports how popular students are reaching out and accepting students who are not so popular. Students are playing performing for a cause that matters into eternity. Everything is changing. There is not telling how great the remainder of this season and year will be when God gets all the credit.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

For the Glory of Who's Name

We are in full swing of football. All the boys are playing. With the exception of Wednesday nights and Sundays we are practicing or playing games every other day or night.

While working out one of our administrators commented about what a good game one of the boys had. I had already prepared myself if anyone said something like that to me. I replied, "I give God all the credit." As much as I love football it is only a platform for my boys and my family to testify about God's greatness. God gets the glory in the Edwards household.

That is not the case with every player or every family. Many have lost the team concept in a me, my, and mine generation. Far too many parents think their children are superstars. Their child is the next latest, greatest, grandest thing to ever hit the field or the court. Parents want their child to excel so people will pat them on the back and brag on their child. This inflates the egos of many parents.

I contrast this with the attitude John the Baptist had about Himself. Read it for yourself in [John 3:30], "He must increase but I must decrease." It does not get any plainer than that. John wanted to make much out of Jesus while making less out of himself. This should be the attitude of every athlete, parent and follower of Jesus.

Let me give you as parents a reality check. In the state of Texas there are around one hundred seventy thousand high school campuses. Of all of those schools and all the athletes playing football only about 1:17 will go on to play football in the NCAA at any level. That breaks down to a little over 5%. Out of those who do get to play at the college level only 1.8% of them or 1:50 will be drafted to play in the NFL. Most likely your child might be a big fish in a little pond. They will be dwarfed when they get out in the ocean compared to others. In short less than 1% of high school athletes will play football at the professional level in the National Football League.

If you and your child play for your own glory it will not last. If you do not believe me take a stroll through the Finish Line Cafe in Paradise, TX. Look at all the past athletes with pictures on the walls living in their glory days. Many people have forgotten not only their accomplishments but also their names. Records will be broken. Others will outshine current players.

Play for something bigger. Play for the glory of God. [Col 3:17] Live to make much of His name. Play to make much of the name of Jesus. Ask God for a bigger platform so you can testify of God's greatness. He alone deserves the glory and all the fame.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Not in Control

This has been an interesting morning. For the first time in days I am not sitting on a mower. I relished the thought of spending some great time with the Lord this morning. I struggled to stay focused as I laboriously read through Leviticus. Each time I come to this book in my daily reading I dread it. All I can say is I thank God we are no longer under the Law but redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ and declared righteous. [II Cor 5:21] I did not get a word from the Lord during this reading. I determined to read in another place over breakfast.

I went to the cafe and God met with me at my corner table. While sitting there He convicted me that I am not truly surrendered. Those of you who know me and know our circumstances might argue to the contrary but hear me out first. I have committed my life to following the Lord's leadership. We have taken steps of obedience in faith.

I have not been surrendered in the fact that I have resisted our circumstances. I have prayed, whined, believed, doubted, pressed on, fallen into the pit of despair, and battled in my mind for most of the past year. I have asked God why His leadership has meant great hardship to my family. I have followed but at times very reluctantly.

While reading this morning God convicted me that I have wanted to be in control. He showed me this morning I do not have control over anything. Not Faith Community Church, not Brenda, not Taylor, Tanner, Tucker, or Turner, not my house selling in Seminole, not my living situation in Paradise, not the church finances, nor publishing and selling books. I am not in control of anything. God is though.

[Job 42:1-2] "Then Job answered the Lord and said, 'I know that You can do all things, and no purpose  of Yours can be thwarted." God is in control and I am not. God purposed me to leave Seminole. I have asked why hundreds of times. Each trip back there is emotionally painful. I ask God why we had to give up our life, friends, ministry, and home there. I have asked God repeatedly about the Faith Community Church growing (which it is) and about the church finances growing (which they are not.) God has a purpose for all of it and He is in control. Maybe another scripture will shed more light on this subject.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways." [Rom 11:33] God has a plan and that plan may not make sense to me. Either way I am not in control. If that plan means leading me through hardship all with my kicking and screaming, it is not going to alter God accomplishing His purpose whether I understand or not.

God's reminder to me today is that I am not in control. He is. I am dependent on Him. Faith Community  Church depends on Him. We are fast running out of chairs and I do not even the control to go and purchase more chairs because we do not have the extra money. He does though. I can resist God's purpose in the struggles or I can submit. Either way God is going to to have His way. He is in control and not me.

The longer I sat at that cafe table the more conviction I felt. I also had to come to grips with the fact that God's purpose at times are painful and tough challenges. I bowed my head and heart knowing that to fully trust God I had to give up control that I never had to begin with. I had to give up control over my reputation, over my family, over my finances, and over my future. These things are easy to write but much harder to pray and even more difficult to live. To truly surrender control I have to be willing to endure these momentary trials even when they last longer than I would like. I have remain obedient even when I do not understand.

I have no control. I trust my Sovereign God. I do not understand the challenges. God has a purpose in all of it. In order to truly submit I have to embrace the challenges rather than resent them. God is building a testimony in my family's life as well as in the life of Faith Community Church. Each challenge drives us to rely on God more. Isn't that what He wants in the first place. I am grateful for a gentle reminder today that I am not in control and that God will accomplish His purposes in me and around me. I can resist or I can submit.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

It Has Been A While

It has been some time since I have served in a bi-vocational position. I have not blogged in a while because I spent a total of one hour in the office last week. The rest of the week I mowed missing my boys' help as they went back to school. The recent rains in Paradise have the grass growing at a rapid rate. This has me out of the office and on the mower.

Many preachers seek to avoid work especially hard manual work. Working helps me to relate to our congregation. Most of people have to work hard to make ends meet. Many know the value of sweat physically and know what an honest day of work feels like. I do not fear sweating and hard labor. I thank God for the opportunity to provide a service and yet I still get to be my own boss.

Every drop of sweat through my shirt, pants, and gloves I see as tangible proof to God that I love Him and am willing to follow Him in the pursuit of planting Faith Community Church no matter how hard the job turns out. I am thankful for equipment God has provided and for the time I enjoyed with the boys this summer working. We are not getting rich. In fact, most of the time I barely made enough to pay for the equipment after paying the boys. I enjoyed watching them learn the value of a dollar. I paid them well and when they had to spend their own money they did not like it. In fact, Tanner put all his money in savings on the last pay day and seldom brings his wallet so he will not be tempted to spend his money.

I miss getting to spend my days totally in prayer, study, writing, along with other pastoral responsibilities. I know as surely as the mowing season will come to an end my time working at two jobs will come to an end. I do not want to be a burden to Faith Community Church or to our other supporters. I will work as God gives me opportunity. I am not a pampered pastor who has to have perks and special favors to serve God. If planting this church requires me to mow for the rest of my life then I will work. The dream is greater than me or whatever price it takes to make the dream come true.

In Seminole I actually wore a tie to the office most times. I enjoyed dressing professionally. Now I wear jeans and boots more than slacks and a dress shirt. I still dress up on Sunday mornings but this is all just a season. I will sweat and labor trusting God to build His church day by day and one yard at a time. That might mean a great deal less time in the office. That in turn will mean much less time to write.

The stats on this site tell me we have three followers. To be honest I do not even know what that means. I know a few people seem interested in what I have to write. There are times when I cannot get into the office to write. I help coach Turner's football team every Monday and Tuesday night. Wednesday nights I minister to adults and teenagers. Thursday nights I watch Tanner or Tucker play football. Taylor plays on Friday nights. I coach on Saturday mornings. This past Wednesday I had exactly one hour before the Bible study to prepare and that proved to be the only hour I had in the office all week until early Sunday morning. God used it though.

Today I have had the joy and blessing of being in the office all day. I have prayed, written, planned events, communicated with ministry leaders, and enjoyed serving as a pastor. Tomorrow I will be back to mowing. Three yards on tap. I still serve the same God. I mow for the glory of God and want to do an excellent job. I write for God and preach for God. It is not about me. I must decrease and He must increase. [Jn 3:30] This is the race He has set before me to run with endurance looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of my faith. [Heb 12:1-2]

I am thankful I had a little time to write. I am thankful I had a little time to sit at this desk and to work on things I pray will matter in eternity. I am not sure when I get to write again but know I take this ministry seriously and will be back at my post as quickly as possible.

God's Perfect Timing

I am so thankful God knows the needs of people and connects His children to meet those needs. God continually impresses ministry assignments on His people and when He does the timing is perfect. We must learn to act promptly on these leadings.

This became apparent to me this week. All day yesterday I had a family on my heart whom I know is going through a tough time. They buried their seven year old little girl recently. Several times I kept feeling like I needed to text them to let them know I continue to pray as they grieve. I would get busy and forget only for God to remind me again later.

The impression became so strong while walking out into the garage to mow I had to stop. I sat down in a chair and I sent a text to these grieving parents. In the whole realm of life it was not a big deal. A simple text message. I just wanted them to know I care and that though most of the world moves on after someone dies I know they live with a hole in their hearts. All I know to do is to pray.

Today I found out from a mutual friend when I sent that text the parents received it while standing at the grave of their beloved daughter in tears. Just a small token and reminder of God's continual love for them. God's timing is perfect.

I urge you to take those God promptings seriously. You never know what God is doing on the other end. I cannot even tell you the number of times my family has been on the receiving end of blessings all in God's time.

Now, I do not know your need. I assure you God does. I do not know the time crunch you are under but God does. I do not even know how long you have been waiting for Him to come through. You may feel like you cannot stand to endure another day under your current circumstances. God knows. God has perfect timing. He is never late. Read that again slowly. HE IS NEVER LATE. He is always on time.

When you are at your lowest God can show up at the graveside to comfort and give a gentle reminder that He is still there. When your cash flow dries up He can send His vessel of provision to you over lunch or lead someone to give a gift sent through the mail. I have experienced all of the above. He can even lead someone from another place in town to get up from where they are to come be an instrument of blessing where you are. He can do the same thing all over the world.

One day many years ago I faced a great need and sat at my office in prayer. I asked God if I could just let Him know my needs or if I had to drop hints to others so they could be used to meet my needs. God has used both ways with His servants in the past. I have always leaned more toward just telling God my needs and trusting Him to lead others when necessary to help to meet those needs. I had no sooner voiced that prayer than my phone rang. On the other end was a couple I had met from Dalhart, TX. They had picked me up at the airport in Amarillo for a preaching event and driven me to Dalhart. I had not had any other contact with this family. They were calling to get my address because they felt prompted to send us some money. I forget the amount of the money but I cannot forget God's perfect timing in answering that prayer. To this day I trust God alone to meet my needs.

There is a time for every event under the sun Solomon tells us in Ecclesisates 3:1-8. His timing is perfect. Like me you may be waiting on God. You may even be waiting reluctantly and impatiently. God will come through in His time. Keep walking with Him day in and day out. Wait on Him. He will show you His kindness and goodness. [Ps 27:13-14] His timing is perfect.