Private Worship

When I prayed this morning I had a unique encounter with God. Early on I sensed there would be something different about our time together. I got caught up in private worship. I basked in His presence. I enjoyed Him. I adored Him. I revered Him. I praised Him. I thanked Him. I exalted Him. I sought Him. I experience more of Him.

Without any morning something welled up from deep in my soul that came out in the form of tears. At first, they trickled and then they turned into intense sobbing. The first wave came in response to the mercy and grace of Jesus. I felt so unworthy of salvation, my family, friends, home, vehicles, clothes, and my calling. The weight of it all settled on me heavily. God overwhelmed me with His amazing grace. The sorrow of my sin came out in torrential tears. Then I turned to all the mistakes I have made along the way. His grace has covered those mistakes, given me additional chances, and protected from bad decisions. All of that came crashing down on me like the cascade of a waterfall. All I could do was weep and praise Jesus.

In that moment none of my problems mattered. Nothing mattered but worshipping Him. In the privacy of my home office that room became a sanctuary of intense worship. God met me this morning. There were no other worshippers present. There was no-one to lead worship but the soft praise music of Twila Paris playing in the background.

The next wave of tears came in response to the lovingkindness God has extended to me. Of course Brenda and my boys were up at the top. So were faithful brothers and sisters who have walked with me through seasons of defeat as well as triumph. They have stuck closer than brothers. I wept over God's continuing faithful provision to my family. I have a cupboard full of food. I have clothes in the closet. I have books and God's Bible. I have this computer to be used to minister to others. I have sight to see physically as well as spiritually. I have hope, strength, love, peace, and joy abounding. His word is opening to me in profound ways. He speaks to me and in response to all of it and so much more all I could do was weep. I thought of the woman who wept over Jesus' feet and wiped the tears away with her hair. Jesus forgave her much and she loved Him much in return.That is a picture of my time with Him in private worship today.

The next wave of tears came in response to the hope He gives me for the future. I worshipped thanking Him for whatever plans He has for me. I looked long into the future through the eyes of faith and believed Him for better days ahead. Suddenly it did not matter where He might lead. Sacrifice and suffering paled in light of His presence. None of it mattered. None of it deterred me from wanting to abandon more fully to following Him. Walking this faith journey felt more like a privilege than a burden. If I had never been all in before I certainly desired to be so today in private worship.

In those moments I lost track of time, my surroundings, and every other thing going on around me. It was just Jesus and I enthralled in private communion and worship. I am doing my best to capture it on the printed page but I fear I will not be able to do so. The private worship encounter so overwhelmed me I can never fully explain or express it.

God knows my gratitude. God knows my praise. He knows the depth of my surrender. I want more of that. Not the experience. I want more communion with Him and more private worship that whisks me away from this world and carries me into the eternal world. God met me today. He filled my soul with Him. I asked for very little today but He gave anyway. He gave me wave upon wave of reasons to worship. He reminded me where He has brought me. He showed me down the road of faith where I will continue to follow Him. I enjoyed this morning of private worship more than all the combined pubic worship services I have attended the past three months. I did not deserve it but He met me today in my small office.

It left me craving more. I press on in the relentless pursuit of knowing Him. Maybe my encounter whet your appetite for deeper private worship. He waits to be wanted and pursued. He is ready to meet with private worshippers who seek Him with all their hearts.

Jeremiah 29:13 (ESV)
¹³  You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.