I felt a strong sense of spiritual warfare all day long but most especially between 2:30-6:15 p.m. Around 4:30 p.m. I felt so distraught I told the Lord I would not go into the service unless I had heard from Him. I did have a strong impression for a message but I did not want to preach it. I preached that message five years ago at FBC Paradise. I recall the day, the month, the year. Moreover I have preached that message numerous times at youth camps and in church revivals all the nation. I wanted a fresh word.
On top of that I have not heard the Lord speak to me since the revival began other than to give direction about what I should preach each night. I have sat in silence and solitude for hours and not received anything from the Lord. Scripture reading had not yielded anything, nor prayer, meditation, or reading other books. Yesterday afternoon I planted my feet and refused to budge until I heard from the Lord. Most of my praying would have to be categorized as more like complaining.
This lasted for some time. Over and over I pleaded with the Lord to confirm the revival had come from Him. I pleaded with the Lord to give me some assurance and encouragement. Nothing. Not a whisper. Not a word. Not a verse from Him. I poured my heart even more. Still nothing from the Lord. I determined that I would tell Chris to start without me and if he did not see me then to take over the service because I had not clearly heard from God.
All the while I kept sensing I needed to preach a message from [Mark 5:1-20] about a demon possessed man whom Jesus delivered and transformed. Reluctantly I finally caved in. This did not alter my desire for God to encourage me. Desperate for reassurance from my Father I cried out again.
Moments before Chris came to my office for our prayer I did something I rarely do. I even counseled our church against doing this just a few nights ago. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I blindly opened my Bible crying out to God to speak to me from the first verse my eyes came across.
[I Cor 15:58] reads, "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." Stunned I recorded the verse in my journal and then went deeper. I studied every word believing God had really spoken something just for me in my time of need. The word "steadfast" means to be firm and immovable. The word "immovable" means to be firmly persistent. The word "labor" means intense work united with sorrow. Finally, the word "vain" means empty, fruitless, and no purpose.
I camped on that verse for a long time interpreting it several ways for my life. Two of the main ones were to continue preaching the revival day by day and see what God does. The verse also encouraged me to keep laboring at planting Faith Community Church. The work, though painful and difficult, is not in vain.
With all of this in mind I entered the sanctuary with a new sense of hope after Chris and I prayed. I enjoyed the worship. I stood to preach and told the congregation I would preach out of obedience but I did not want to preach that message. I think the message hit the mark. Nobody got saved but the work of God in our midst was obvious. We had many visitors in attendance and many of them from sister churches.
This revival has never been about Faith Community Church. It has never been about bolstering our attendance. In the end I left encouraged and grateful God had met with me. Just as I sensed no anointing on the preaching the previous night I felt the opposite last night. I felt no strain in delivering the message. The thoughts flowed seamlessly. God empowered the preaching.
Did breakthrough come? Did we experience a true revival. All I can tell you in summation is I met with God before the service and enjoyed being His vessel during the service. There was no wow factor. God touched the hearts of many. We enjoyed a good time together. Chris' family drove up to join him for the next several days. We had a good night. Did breakthrough come? I cannot say that. I can say we met with God.
We will continue to meet for the next three nights for sure. Now it is back to more praying, studying, and listening. I am taking [I Cor 15:58] to heart. I believe that what we are doing here is not in vain.
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