I Am

It is now official. I have diabetes. A glucose test confirmed this yesterday afternoon. I am a diabetic. Like many others who have this disease my life is changed. I cannot say I am scared or anxious. Things are different now. I am a diabetic and that means a pretty drastic change to my diet and lifestyle. That means more healthy eating, more bike rides and more sessions in the weight room. More discipline but more importantly more trust in God are the needs of the hour.

I am confident. We sat the boys down last night and told them. Predictably Turner was upset. I told him I know I will have to eat better but I will be fine to be around for his graduation, his marriage, and his children. He buried his head and tear filled eyes into my chest as I hugged him and reassured him. I am not confident based on my resolve. I am confident because I believe God has more work for me to do. He created me for good works [Eph 2:10] and I want to fulfill my purpose in my generation. I have revival to trust him for. Books to write. Sermons to preach. A church to build. A nation and state to turn back to him. I am a man with purpose.

I am at peace because the Prince of Peace resides in me. I have taken my health issues before the Lord. I have laid them at his feet and left them there. I trust him to continue to infuse my heart with a peace that surpasses all understanding. [Phil 4:6-7] While I know diabetes is a big issue and has already begun affecting my left eye I am not scared.  I am not anxious today. I am at peace because God holds me firmly in his grip.

I am resolved to beat this through faith and hard work. Faith first because God has the last say. I have reminded myself of that again and again as it relates to my health, Faith Community Church, and my future. I believe that God is and that he rewards those who seek him earnestly. [Heb 11:6]

I guess the best way to sum up my condition is through the words of a coaching friend of mine. When I ask how he is doing, he always responds saying, "I am because I AM is in me." Well today I am. I am at peace. I am a diabetic (at least for this short season - God still heals). I am confident. I am resolved. I am! I AM is in me.