Overcoming Adversity

There are times in life when we all face adversity. Some battle cancer. Others battle poverty. Some endure a loveless marriage. Others fight through tragedy and the loss of loved ones. Athletes are forced to overcome injury. Teams have to overcome defeat. Business people work to turn things around in a bad economy. Pastors have to pray through dwindling crowds and offerings. Missionaries keep getting back up after their labors have been rejected.

Anywhere you look in society somebody somewhere is having to overcome adversity. When everything is going against you giving up and giving in looks like a better option. Caving into the pressure is the path of least resistance. It takes courage and heart to keep getting back up and staying in the fight.

But know this; in the last days difficult times will come. [II Tim 3:1] The word "difficult" means hard, perilous, dangerous, troublesome, harsh, fierce, and savage. In essence we are talking about adversity. For the believer in the U.S. these difficult times seldom come in the form of persecution. This is not the case all over the world.

To love and follow Jesus in some countries is a dangerous proposition. Every single day is dangerous, fierce and savage. Followers of Christ in these nations never know when they will be arrested, tortured, or martyred. They overcome imprisonments, mutilation of their bodies, torture of their families, poverty, and personal sufferings more horrific than any of us can imagine. And they overcome!

They keep singing. They keep loving Jesus and their enemies. They keep giving bold witness for Christ. They keep standing firm on Christ the Solid Rock. They keep getting back up when back handed to the ground. They keep overcoming. They refuse to quit in more adversity than most of us will ever know. This is the testimony of the voice of the martyrs.

So how are we supposed to face our own adversity? With whining, complaining, and griping. Are we going to bemoan the loss of our comfort, luxury living, and modern materialism. Are we honestly going  to argue our case before God because we did not get what we wanted when we prayed and sit in the corner sulking. Are we really going to show up at church and half heartedly worship and not even take the time to open our Bibles when the preacher preaches? Is that the kind of worship we are giving our King when our persecuted brothers and sisters sneak in to have church at great peril and will sit in cramped dark rooms for hours in worship of the same King.

These are indeed the last days. Difficult times have already come for many. I am not making light of the adversity you face. I know you too face difficulties. I don't think many reading this in the U.S. are fearful today you may be hunted down and have an ear, nose, or a tongue cut off in your service for Christ. That is not the adversity you have to overcome.

Every time I read a story about how persecuted Christians overcome humiliation, torture, imprisonment, and martyrdom I am inspired to keep get backing up and overcoming in my trials. Mark my words. There will come a day in this nation when we too will know persecution. It might not happen in my life time but I assure you that day is coming for every nation. Will pampered pew sitters overcome in that day.

I am weary of half hearted followers of Christ who sit lukewarmly and crumble in the face of adversity. Much of my life has felt like adversity and yet I have never been tortured, censured, or even threatened. I sit in this spacious home typing away this Saturday morning in the land of the free. My difficult times come in other non important forms. I got frustrated because the door knob broke on the door going out to the garage. I will have to be inconvenienced today to travel to a hardware store to buy another and to replace it. This is not adversity. I have a garage with stuff in it. I have a kitchen filled with delicious food. In a few days we will have an open house to show people the home God blessed us to live in. That is not difficulty.

So what if I serve a small church meeting in a warehouse. I got paid this week and so did Brenda. We have money in the bank. We slept soundly last night in a comfortable bed in a spacious home. I have two open copies of God's word on this desk right now. I have books to read and to gain more insight. I have clothing to wear, food to eat, this computer to use, vehicles for transportation, a bike for exercise, an ipod to listen to music while I exercise, a recliner to sit in the living room, and a fireplace to enjoy on a cold day.

I bet you have many of the same things too. Difficult times is a matter of perspective. Compared to refugees I do not have adversity. Compared to starving children I do not have adversity. Compared to persecuted Christians I am not facing difficult times.

We can overcome. I am determined to overcome a lack luster lukewarm church age trusting God to transform us into a blazing molten lava hot hearted church for him that overcomes adversity.

Lord of My Heart

You, O Lord, are Master over my heart,
I bring it to you as day dawns and starts,
You rule every crevice corner and nook,
I am yours line and sinker to the hook,
You are my Omnipotent Sovereign King,
You deserve my passion my everything,
As this day slowly begins to unfold,
I'm confident in your ability to uphold,
Your purposes accomplished in your will,
Revealed to us as we prayerfully sit still,
You get to rule over every bit of my heart,
You deserve the whole and not just a part,
So as night fades with dawning of the sun,
You have my heart Lord my faithful One.

Who Do You Say Jesus Is?

This question hit me square between the eyes today as I studied for my message tonight. The question is not who do you think Jesus is to you. People have invented a new convenient Jesus. This is not the Jesus of the Bible. We must deal with the question of who is Jesus?

70% of people in the world do not even believe in Jesus. Among the 30% who do many suffer for their devotion to Christ. Teenagers in closed countries take Jesus to their nation at their own peril. When they  witness for Christ they are often arrested, tortured, and mutilated. One story I heard today was of women who had their noses and ears cut off by persecutors for their love for Christ. They were heard singing at work, "God is good. God is kind. God is powerful." THAT FIRES ME UP! THAT IS WHAT A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST SHOULD DO!

Who do those women and those teenagers say Jesus is. They say he is Lord and Master by their actions. Contrast that with students in the United States. Many students and student ministries are trying to reinvent a new Jesus more with the times. They want to soften some of his teachings and to round the hard edge of the commitment he calls people to keep. They want a more loving, more sensitive, and a less radical religious figure.

We are soft pedaling Jesus in the church today. The real and historical Jesus, the Jesus of the Bible calls his followers to love him first and most. [Matt 22: 37-38]. In fact he calls for love for him to be so deep and passionate that love for other people looks like hatred in return. Jesus calls people to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow him. [Matt 16:24] Jesus calls people to endure persecution. [Matt 5:12-13] Jesus calls people to leave their nets behind to follow him to fish for men. Jesus calls people to give all they have. [Mark 1:17]

Who is Jesus. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lord. HE IS MASTER. He deserve a fuller devotion. One girl in our youth group came up after teaching tonight and asked me if I wanted to know right then. I did not understand what she was getting at. She came to me to answer the question, Who do you say Jesus is? Her answer? She commented, "He is my everything and I love him." 

Two young Asian believers say Jesus is worth living for and even dying for if need be. They are only teenagers sent out by their village to be trained to take Jesus and the gospel into areas where Jesus has never been taken before. While talking to an American pastor they acknowledged once they embark on their mission they most likely will never come home again because they expect to be arrested or killed. Their parents are okay with this. Both sets of parents have been arrested for their faith in the past. It is part of their heritage passed down to their sons.

Contrast that story with the apathy among Christian students in North America who have been given every advantage for spiritual growth. Who do these students say Jesus is? For one thing many of these students are not convinced Jesus is real because they hold back. They do not take Jesus at his word. They do not obey his teachings. They do not serve him wholeheartedly. They are not willing to stand alone when others cave into peer pressure and compromise once held firm convictions.

Who do you say Jesus is? If he is the Christ then where is your devotion and willingness to follow him no matter the cost. If he is the Christ then he deserves all your affection and all your service period.

God Promised

After Noah built the ark and God destroyed the world by flood God made a promise to Noah. I will set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth. It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth. [Gen 9:13-16]

God has kept that promise for several thousand years. He is the original Promise Keeper.

Yesterday afternoon Tucker and I were sitting watching Taylor and Tanner go through football practice. In the middle of practice a little rain shower came and then dissipated. A few moments later Tucker pointed out a rainbow. I asked if he knew what it meant. He knew it had something to do with Noah but he was not certain. I then shared God's promise about never destroying all flesh through a flood again. God has kept his word.

That is just one instance. [Joshua 21:45] states, Not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass. What was true for Noah and the house of Israel is also true for you and I. God always does what he says. He always comes through like he says he will. God never fails and he never forsakes his own. This is great news!

God has more promises in his word than I have time to recount them. There is a corresponding promise from God to help us cope with life. Promises to be our strength, help, provider, peace, and protector. There are promises to lift burdens, to find refuge, to gain aid in the day of trouble, to move mountains and get wisdom for decision making.

Here is the thing we must remember. None, not one single one, of God's promises fail. Every time we think they do it usually is a timing issue or a God's will issue. God is going to work according to his time table and not ours. God is also going to work according to his will and not ours. When we begin entertaining thoughts that God did not keep his promise to us we can usually zero in on one of those two issues which caused us to get sidetracked.

Let me illustrate. For almost two years our family lived in a cramped rent house. You cannot be a regular visitor to this blog and not know that. I prayed and prayed for God to sell our house in Seminole. I prayed before I moved. I prayed while I stayed in the R/V. I prayed while we lived in the rent house. Our house still did not sell which meant we had to delay in finding a suitable house of our own.

Many times I whined and complained as I recounted promises to God that at the time were not being kept. Now, after our house selling in Seminole, after purchasing a dream home here, I can see God kept his promises to my family day in and day out by being our provider and turning our focus to seeking God's kingdom first. In the end God honored his promise from [Ps 37:4] Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. He blessed us with a better house than I ever dreamed. His timing was perfect. His will was best. When I truly delighted in Him first and most then he gave me the desires of my heart. I have this seen this over and over again in my life.

I know how easy it is to get frustrated and impatient when God is not doing what you asked or when the very trials you asked God to avoid in your life happen. Frustration sinks in and impatience mounts. I also know both attitudes are sin. We are not to be anxious but thankful and prayerful and let God's peace rule in our hearts and minds. [Phil 4:6-7] I can say through first hand experience God has given me the desires of my heart when I truly delighted in him first and waited on him. Sometimes the things I wanted turned out not be his will and his will turned out best. Once again it all comes down to the simple matter of trust. There are things I am still waiting on God to do. I want to see my book writing ministry go to a new level. I have asked the Lord to do this for years. It is not about me making more money but doing more for the kingdom of God. God will keep his promises. To date that has not happened. Either the time is not right or God wills something different.

I am thankful Tucker noticed the rainbow yesterday afternoon. I was so engrossed in watching Taylor and Tanner I did not and would have never looked up to notice. That rainbow means a lot more to me than the fact that God will not destroy earth by flood again. It reminds me that God always keeps his promises in his time.

He Did What God Commanded

Are you willing to obey God? No matter what the task are you willing to step out in obedience? More than that, I am not asking if you are willing to start in obedience. I want to know if you will finish the task and complete the assignment God gave you.

Noah received a huge assignment from the Lord. Build a boat one and a half football fields long, half a football wide and four and half stories tall. God spoke to me through one verse this morning. Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did. [Gen 6:22]

It is so easy to start out on an assignment God has given only to lose heart when the going gets tough. It is easy to give up when the assignment takes longer to complete than first anticipated. Obedience is not just starting something. Obedience means seeing your assignment to completion. It means finishing your education. It means staying the course in your ministry until God takes you home or releases you. It does not mean quitting because the way is difficult and the results are few. Obedience means following when retreating looks like a better option. Obedience means enduring ridicule when others do not understand what God has called you to do.

We know it took Noah six centuries to complete God's assignment. That is why [Gen 6:22] means so much to me. HE DID ALL GOD HAD COMMANDED HIM. I know what it is like to get excited initially about anything new. We get excited about new exercise equipment, new Bible studies, new food, new vehicles, a new book, a new job, and new educational opportunities. Then the monotony sets in of day in and day out devoting ourselves to the same task. It becomes routine. The excitement wears off. The daily grind sets in. Relationship friction surface.

It is during these times that thoughts of quitting are entertained. During these seasons the temptation to pursue other opportunities and greener pastures tempt us away from God's calling. Noah did not do this. For 120 years he worked on that ark. He had a vision about God destroying the earth and a clear assignment to build the ark to rescue his family. That vision drove him day after day to do all that God commanded.

Stop where you are and slow down for a second. Can it be said of you in this moment that you are doing all God has commanded? Did you put your hand to the plow of some assignment for God but turned back before finishing.

It is not too late. Right where you are in this moment you can turn your heart and mind back to God. You can resolve you will obey no matter what radical adjustments that brings. You can take the first step in faith and trust God with each additional step. You can turn a deaf ear to the doubters and doomsday prophets while keeping an open ear to heaven for further instruction.

I want to do all God has commanded me to do. In this moment I am doing that in writing this blog. Later, I will do that by investing in some fifth grade football players and sharing this scripture at the end of practice. I will love my boys and I will seek my Lord. Until I die or God chooses a different assignment I will give myself to planting Faith Community Church. I will devote my life to writing the books God calls me to write. I will continue to labor and trust God to pay off the debt for the hospital in Honduras.

At the end of our lives I hope it can be said of each of us that we did all that God commanded.

Converse - Follow - Pursue

I got up this morning my Lord wanting to pursue,
In prayerful meditation intent on following anew,
I opened the sacred book giving a fresh revelation,
As we lingered together in lengthy conversation,
I give my life to follow and all that I believe,
I give my life to pursue God as I daily cleave,
Walking with my Lord is most soul satisfying,
Conversing - following - pursuing so gratifying.

Walking With God

As you awake this morning and start another busy day with the beginning of a new school year and a work week, how will you live this day? How will you cope with the challenges of the day? Where will you lean to get wisdom to make decisions? Where will you summon strength to make it through the day?

While reading in Genesis this morning I came across a little verse that stopped me in my tracks. Enoch walked with God and he was not there, because God took him. [Gen 5:24]

What really stood out to me is the fact that Enoch walked with God. While that word "walk" has a variety of meanings I want to focus on three of them. The word "walk" means to converse, follow, and pursue.

Enoch conversed with God. Let that sink in. That does not mean that Enoch did all the talking. Day in and day out Enoch and God conversed. Enoch talked and God listened but much more importantly is the fact that God talked and Enoch listened. What God has to say to us is much more important than what we have to say to him.

For years one of my constant prayers is that would let me hear from him. Mainly this comes from reading his word but from time to time I sense the Lord speaking in other ways. Hearing from God is a high priority in my life. Is hearing from God a regular part of your daily routine. Walking with God conversing with him and listening means slowing down. It means putting all else on the back burner and giving him your undivided attention. It means so much more than reading a short devotion passage for the day and hurrying off.

Months ago I was afforded the time to go to New Mexico for a prayer retreat due to the generosity of some friends from Seminole who have a mountain home. During my week in the mountains I spent hour upon hour conversing with God. Much of that time I spent prostrate of the ground asking God to speak to me. I sat on a rock perch on top of a mountain one evening watching the sun set asking God to speak. I read his word in the mornings asking God to speak. I gave my whole days there to conversation with God and asking him to speak.

It was not until I was on my way back home while spending the night with some friends that I clearly and undeniably heard God speak through [Jn 5:17] But Jesus reminded them, "My Father is still working and I am working also. I blogged about that encounter with God on a back porch that lasted for several hours. I consider that encounter to be one of the defining moments of my life.

Walking with God means conversing with him. In our hurried pace few make the time to linger in lengthy conversations with God. Fewer take the time to sit still and listen. Enoch did both. He cultivated a close walk with God. Closer than you and I. Day in and day out Enoch got up and conversed with God drawing nearer and nearer.

Part of walking with God means to follow him. It means to surrender the rights to call all the shots. Following means we give the leadership role to God. If you converse with God long enough he is going to reveal things you are supposed to do, places you are supposed to go, gifts you are supposed to offer, and new paths you are supposed to journey.

While I would never say following God is easy, I will say it is adventurous. If you find yourself stale, stuck in the dry rut of religion, I would ask are you truly following God. When you follow him he leads on a grand adventure for his kingdom purposes. Following God means three things. You must hear God give you clear directions. You must be obedient. You also must have faith to trust God as you step out. This is the exact point where most people shrink back. They hear clearly enough. Yet when it comes to obedience, faith shrivels and logic takes over. In the aftermath, people rationalize not following and live in disobedience.

What is God calling you to do today? Where is he leading you to follow? By all means be obedient. If you do not your walk with God will come to a halt at this very point. You will never be able to cultivate a closer walk if you will not obey his promptings. At some point you have to be willing to follow as you step out in faith. You have to throw caution to the wind as you obey him. You give the gift he leads you to give. You relocate your life and family to the place he shows you. You give a word of witness. You go on the mission trip. You give God your "yes" and then you follow through.

That first step of obedience can be frightening. If you have conversed with God, if you have heard him clearly telling you a direction to follow, then just take the first step in that direction. Take the next step. Keep taking steps in the direction God revealed to you. You will find yourself on a grand adventure of kingdom purpose.

Remember in the beginning I wrote that the word "walk" had three different meanings. We have looked at two of them. The final meaning is to pursue. Enoch walked with God. He conversed with God. He followed God. He also pursued God. Is God the object of your relentless pursuit? Do you hunger and thirst for more of him? [Ps 42:1-2] [Ps 63:1-2]

Everyday for the remainder of your life you will exchange your days in pursuit of something. For some it may be making more money and attaining more stuff. For others it will be in the pursuit of some relationship. Still others will pursue career advancement. While those things may have there place there is no more worthy pursuit than that of knowing and walking with God.

I challenge you to give large portions of your day to relentlessly pursue knowing God. You will notice that I did not say give large portions of your day to learning more about God. We have churches filled with people who know facts about God but do not have a first hand knowledge because they do not walk with God. They give themselves to the pursuit of other trivial things.

O brothers and sisters, give your entire life to the pursuit of God. Walk with him. Linger long in his presence day in and day out. Listen attentively and follow obediently.

I have a friend who loves God. He often tells me that he can imagine God telling him as they walk together, "Son, we are closer to my house than yours. Why don't you come on home with me." With that my friend expects to step out of this world into eternity. That is what I imagine happening to Enoch except Enoch did not die. God just took him. The word "took" means God fetched him or seized him.

Walking with God is a great privilege afforded to every child of God. How sad some refuse to take advantage of this. Will you give your remaining days to walking with God? Will you converse, follow, and pursue.

Getting Back Up Again

Though trials assail and my knees buckle and bend,
Though flat on my face I resolve to get back up again,
Though the way's unclear and all is blurred in confusion,
I climb to the altar to seek aid and divinely timed infusion,
Time and again I have been knocked flat to the ground,
Time and time again by faith I refuse to remain down,
Though weary, tested, and scarred from the many battles,
Though thrown from the horse I climb back into the saddle,
Christ did not give up on me when nailed onto the cross,
I benefited and I gained from his sacrificial death and loss,
Though often pressed beyond my reason to comprehend,
By faith in God's strength I will keep getting back up again.

The End is Coming

I just spent the last hour reading the book of Revelation. I am certain the end is coming. There will be a time when the wrath of God will be poured out on planet Earth and all those who refuse to worship him. The time is coming when God's judgement will escalate like a crescendo and only the redeemed will be preserved.

What amazed me as I read through Revelation is that no matter how much pain and suffering God unleashes on the wicked many of them will curse God and refuse to repent. The suffering will only intensify as a result. All will stand before the Great White Throne and have to give an account for their deeds. Those who trusted Christ for salvation will have their names written in the Lamb's Book of Life. They will be preserved from God's judgement. Those who never trusted Christ will be punished eternally.

This is sobering truth. The masses will perish. Those who have lived their lives deceived will say with conviction that Jesus is Lord of Lords and King of Kings for God will force them to say it. Proud and powerful men and women will run to hide from the Righteous Judge but there is no place they will find refuge. They will have to account for their sinful deeds.

When I ponder these things it puts all else in perspective. Football season is not nearly as important. My life will not ebb and flow depending on what the Dallas Cowboys do this season. Accumulating more possessions seems pointless. Living for entertainment seems like a waste. What matters truly is preaching this message warning the masses that the end is coming. Many will not listen. They will be fiercely trampled like grapes under the feet of an angry just God.

Do not get distracted. None of us knows when the end is coming. It is not my intent to try and predict when these things will take place. I just think it is near. Until it is too late may we labor to rescue the perishing.

The Secret Place

We all need a secret place reserved to meet with God. I have had several over the years. In east Texas it was my prayer room converted office for years or in my living room on Evans Gann Road. Later it became my office at FBC Paradise. A few years later it changed to a different office at FBC Seminole. Later it change to an abandoned upstairs Sunday School class room where I moved a desk and chair and met with God in private. There was also my living room on NW Ave B.

Today my secret place is this small home office on Runaway Bay Drive. It is early on Saturday morning. I can hear Brenda breathing as she enjoys the last few hours of sleep after another busy work week. Yet in this secret place it seems like I am a world away. In this sacred place I meet with God. He speaks to me. He convicts of sin. He gives refuge. He encourages my soul in the day of distress. In this secret place he communes with me. We have a standing appointment and our times together are a delight to my parched soul.

I have found an oasis in God in the desert of my circumstances. Time spent with him in this secret place is reviving. Outside this room confusion reigns and trials abound. While inside this place, my soul is at peace and content in the presence of the One who holds all things in his hands. The winds may howl, the waves may pound, and the heat may oppress but through it all God is faithful. In this place I rest my weary soul. In this place the roots of my faith grow deep and strong.

Strength is summoned in this secret place to face the challenges of the day. Peace is given abundantly at times when peace should not exist. Hope floats here when hope should sink to the bottom of the ocean. Guidance is offered here. Burdens are lifted here. Inspiration is given here. All of this and more are found abundantly when I am locked away with my God in the secret place. There is no place like this on the face of the earth.

Over the years my secret place has changed numerous times. What has not changed is the presence of God. O that is what I am after. I am in red hot pursuit of the God who longs to be longed for. I am on a relentless chase to draw nearer and nearer to him. I am seeking the One who yearns to be found.

But when you pray, go to your private room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. [Matt 6:6]

Glory to God

Father no matter what you deserve the glory,
As through time you keep writing your story,
The way you work and move in the nations,
Brings waves of joy and abundant elation,
You deserve praise and all of our sacrifice,
Your will is good and your ways still suffice,
Whether we eat or drink in our everything,
You deserve glory and honor everlasting,
Whether I preach, teach or continue writing,
When I take credit it is you I am slighting,
You who give life and breath abundantly,
You who deserve all the praise redundantly,
Glory to your name may the nations rejoice,
At the resounding anthem of your voice,
This one thing is clear - you get the glory,
For the ways you work through history.

I Am

It is now official. I have diabetes. A glucose test confirmed this yesterday afternoon. I am a diabetic. Like many others who have this disease my life is changed. I cannot say I am scared or anxious. Things are different now. I am a diabetic and that means a pretty drastic change to my diet and lifestyle. That means more healthy eating, more bike rides and more sessions in the weight room. More discipline but more importantly more trust in God are the needs of the hour.

I am confident. We sat the boys down last night and told them. Predictably Turner was upset. I told him I know I will have to eat better but I will be fine to be around for his graduation, his marriage, and his children. He buried his head and tear filled eyes into my chest as I hugged him and reassured him. I am not confident based on my resolve. I am confident because I believe God has more work for me to do. He created me for good works [Eph 2:10] and I want to fulfill my purpose in my generation. I have revival to trust him for. Books to write. Sermons to preach. A church to build. A nation and state to turn back to him. I am a man with purpose.

I am at peace because the Prince of Peace resides in me. I have taken my health issues before the Lord. I have laid them at his feet and left them there. I trust him to continue to infuse my heart with a peace that surpasses all understanding. [Phil 4:6-7] While I know diabetes is a big issue and has already begun affecting my left eye I am not scared.  I am not anxious today. I am at peace because God holds me firmly in his grip.

I am resolved to beat this through faith and hard work. Faith first because God has the last say. I have reminded myself of that again and again as it relates to my health, Faith Community Church, and my future. I believe that God is and that he rewards those who seek him earnestly. [Heb 11:6]

I guess the best way to sum up my condition is through the words of a coaching friend of mine. When I ask how he is doing, he always responds saying, "I am because I AM is in me." Well today I am. I am at peace. I am a diabetic (at least for this short season - God still heals). I am confident. I am resolved. I am! I AM is in me.

Though He Slay Me

Yesterday is one of those days I would just as soon forget ever existed. It started with a glorious prayer time like I have not experienced in a long while. It ended with tears in my eyes and a faith strained to the fullest extent. God's blows pummeled me to the ground yesterday.

The eye doctor's visit did not go well. He confirmed I will lose my eye sight unless something is done. He also confirmed I do have diabetes.

After the drama of that visit our worship pastor called to tell me he is resigning. This is the second time in less than a year we have lost a worship pastor. That took the wind right out of my sails.

Mixed with several other trials and private pains I spent as much time in tears today as in prayer. I am resolved to say with Job, "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him. Nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him." 

The word "hope" in that verse means to wait with confident expectation. This is easier said than done. When blow after blow comes and you find yourself asking, "God, what are you doing?" You loose your footing and get tossed by the tumultuous waves of the storm. Like a child tossed in the surf, it is hard to get back on your feet.

The words in prayer today were few. There were groans and tears but not many words. Like a frightened child I came to my Father for help and for hope. Truth be known I am crumbling on the inside. Yet, in the midst of it all I am resolved to say though God continue to slay me I will yet hope in Him and still praise His name. I do not understand and my faith is battered and shaken. I am clinging to hope barely but I am clinging.

When Words Are Not Enough

I came before you this morning in sorrowful petition,
Wounded and broken in spirit lowly in position,
Tears flowed when the words would not easily come,
Groaning in my spirit travailing to the faithful One,
There are times when praying with words is not enough,
When the burdens are great and the right words are tough,
My soul prays deep burdens and sorrows poured out moaning,
As my troubled spirit cries out in lamenting a soul groaning,
Words cannot express this deep sorrowing in my soul,
Trusting for help - healing and longing to be made whole,
I cannot come with eloquence of words before you,
Today my prayer in groaning and tears will have to do.

Crumbling on the Inside

They see a stalwart man looking on the outside,
You know I am broken - crumbling on the inside,
While outwardly I stand bravely and steadfast,
Deep inside I'm wounded though a stark contrast,
The storm has pummeled severely clouding vision,
Faith and fear battle leaving my heart in division,
Outwardly I stand boldly in Bible preaching,
Inwardly I face my private nights of weeping,
People say I'm the man of faith on the outside,
They don't see tears shed privately on the inside,
They do not see the pain that grips my being,
They can't see what only you alone are seeing,
A wounded warrior weary and battle tested,
Wondering if these stormy waves have crested,
Hoping that you'll firmly keep on gripping,
When it feels like I am slowly slipping,
They think I am strong looking on the outside,
You know I am broken - crumbling on the inside.

Weighed Down in Surrender

I don't know what the Lord is doing in me. It is good and painful at the same time. It is deep and satisfying. He is beckoning deeper. He is inviting me to more fully consecrate my life to him. He wants my mind, my thoughts, my dreams, my attitude, my speech, my sermons, my writings, my every word consecrated to him. He wants everything I put before my eyes consecrated to him. He wants my heart fully devoted to him. He wants my heart to feel what his heart feels. He wants to weigh his burden on me.

I have sat before him in tears this morning. I have ached for our nation, for revival, to be used, to be weighed down with his concerns, to be fully surrendered. All I have is this moment. I can't go back and relive yesterday. I am not promised tomorrow. All I have is this moment to be surrendered to him. The weight of that surrender and concern for this nation and this community break my heart. It is a breaking and a weight I have not felt in a long time. A LONG LONG TIME.

Many years ago, while serving as the staff evangelist at Denman Avenue Baptist Church, I had a similar experience. God blessed me in that my office was the old prayer room of the church. My office was isolated and the prayer times I had with the Lord remind me of the hymn where the words are written, "I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses, and the joy we share as I tarry there none other has ever known. My soul thrilled with the encounters I shared with the Lord in that office.

One evening while praying I asked God to burden my heart with what burdened his heart. I asked to feel what he feels. The tears began flowing so uncontrollably and the pain in my heart became so deep I had to ask the Lord to stay his hand for I did not feel I could take anymore. I have never forgotten that encounter. That is what I began feeling this morning. A deep sense of burden for our nation and for the church. A weight filled with sorrow and the sting of a nation adrift. I keep sensing God has a role for me to play in turning this nation back to him. My role might just be to pray and write behind the scenes. My role might be to preach beyond the local church at some point. My role might be to mobilize believers for prayer and revival. Whatever my role is I am as surrendered to God in this moment as I know to be.

The pursuit of God and revival start for me in this prayer closet with my own life. He has weighed heavily on my heart. He is doing something great and deep in me. Out of this room I pray for encounters and messages that change Faith Community, Paradise, and to the far ends of the earth.

I do not know how to be any more surrendered in this moment. I am his. He can do anything in me. I welcome the deep work of his Spirit to truly transform me. I am not satisfied. I want more. MUCH MORE! I want all my mind and heart can contain and even then I ask for an enlarged heart and an expanded mind to hold more of him. I am not satisfied but more hungry for the things of God. I am weighed down with surrender.

I have never wanted to be any more devoted and available to God than in this moment. I want to be weighed down in surrender to him and his purpose to bring revival back to this land. I yearn to see deep conviction fall on my life and the church like I have never seen. I yearn to be weighed down with the sorrow God has over this hell bent nation and lost souls. I yearn for the fire of his presence to burn in my heart so white hot that sermons become messages from God igniting the dry grass of souls like a prairie fire spreading from heart to heart, church to church, community to community, county to county, state to state, and nation to nation. I yearn to be a part of God restoring a world to himself.

I lay down as low as I can get in his presence weighed down with the burden and desire to fully surrender. I yield my rights, my comforts, and my security all for the sake of him who loved me and died for me.

The weight of his heart is filling me deeply. The desire to remain surrendered is overwhelming. What God is doing in the depths of my soul frustratingly cannot be put into words. I am trying but I cannot capture it. It is something that has to be caught more than taught. God is becoming my passionate obsession. All else fades in the light of his presence. Nothing holds my gaze and captures my entire being like him. I want more of him. Not more experiences. Not more success. Not more possessions. More of him.

In his presence all I want to do is to be more surrendered, more yielded, more available, more on his altar, more ready to follow, more willing to go, and more devoted to him and his purposes. If all this just culminates with deeper prayer in this little home office and more blogs, books, and messages born right here I am surrendered to that life. If he wills to open doors to put me in backwood places and churches to proclaim his truth to usher in days of revival I am surrendered. If he wills to place me before large crowds on college campuses I am surrendered. If he wills to place me in foreign lands to declare his truth I will pack my bags and go. If he wills me to stand behind the pulpit in one church and give my remaining days to one flock I am surrendered. If he uproots all I hold dear and precious and calls me to once again step out in faith I am weighed down with the desire to surrender. I do not know how to give him more love, more worship, more service in this moment than to be weighed down with the desire to surrender.

I am sure for anyone who reads this blog you will find little more than the ramblings of a preacher and author. O I pray that one spark from my life might fall onto someone reading this and spark the desire to be weighed down in surrender to God more than you have ever been before. I pray some dry and thirsty soul might read about what God is doing in me and move in you the desire for more of him. This blog was never meant to be rambling. I am like a cup overflowing this morning and what spills over the brim is what I have tried to captured. I am weighed down with the burden to surrender to him like never before. I hope you will feel the same.

Hills of Faith

I pulled out my bike this morning for an early ride around Runaway Bay. While we love the serenity of this community there are hills everywhere. Hills present great challenges for runners and cyclist. This morning proved no exception. Thirteen hills in less than an hour of riding. Two of them were pretty brutal.

That pretty much sums up where I am in life. I am pedaling but there are many hills. This week I have two doctor's appointments. I may not like the results of either but I must keep pedaling. There are other hills as well. I keep pedaling slowly making my way to the top. Each hill is a challenge to my faith. Will I keep pressing on or do I quit. To this point I keep pedaling through prayer to traverse the top of each challenge.

At one point, while riding this morning, I crossed paths with a lady walking down a hill just as I started to climb. Life is like that. There are seasons when you get to coast down hill. Life is a breeze and requires little effort. Everything goes your way. These are sweet seasons and should not be taken for granted. These are times in life when you get to coast, and yet you still make progress with little to no effort.

There are other seasons when life is an uphill climb. Each revolution of the pedals puts more strain on your muscles until they begin to burn, throb in pain, and cry out for relief. Every glance upward screams the message, You have such a long way to the top. Just turn back." The faith warrior inside
 steps up the challenge and shouts back, "Just keep pedaling. One revolution at a time and you will reach the top! DON'T QUIT! NEVER GIVE UP!"

I think of the widow or widower who have to drag themselves out of bed each day and face the challenges without their soul mate. I think of the poverty stricken who always need God's provision and live from one prayer to the next. I think of those with chronic pain and disease who gut out each day in pain and the mental anguish of knowing apart from a miracle there will be no relief until death. I think of the divorced wife or husband who grieve like someone died but have to live with the horror that their  other half still lives. There are those who sank their life, money, talents, as well as hopes and dreams in a project that has not turned out like expected. The dream feels more like a nightmare. Each of these people keep pedaling climbing the hills in from of them day after day. This is inspiring to me.

I wrote this before. There are times when quitting feels more appealing than finishing. There are times when turning around and heading downhill are more attractive than climbing to the top. There are times when hitching your life to another wagon looks more alluring than staying hitched where you are. As an example of suffering and patience brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold,  we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. [James 5:11] Remain steadfast and never quit climbing.

What God Wills

What does God will? That is a question foremost on a lot of people's minds. People pray, read, and get counsel all trying to determine God's will for their lives. I have spent my fare share of time doing the same thing. That is the wrong focus. The focus should not be on what is God's will for my life or your life. The focus should be on what does God will?

Here are a few things we know God wills. His word declares it so. In no certain order here are things we know God wills.

1. God wills the lost to be saved. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. [Jn 3:16] The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. [II Pet 3:9] We know God wills people to be saved but do we will the same? Is that truly our desire? If we are honest wouldn't many of us say we are content to sit in our holy huddles in Bible study and fellowship while the lost perish. Do we have a burden for souls? Does it bother us that people perish into eternal damnation everyday? Do we believe that Jesus Christ is the only hope for people to be reconciled to God? Do you we truly believe that the lost perish into judgement and wrath beyond anything we can fathom. Is there anything that would open our tight lips to speak the greatest message this world needs to hear. While many have heard and rejected the truth about Jesus in this nation what about in those nations where His name has not been preached or mentioned. Does that gnaw at your soul?
2.   God wills His children to walk by faith. For we walk by faith, not by sight. [II Cor 5:7] And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. [Heb 11:6] Why do people in the church seek to live contrary to God's will in this area? People want comfort, security, and the safe and predictable path. God wants us to depend on Him. He wants to push us further and further out of our comfort zones to believe Him for impossible things. I just read yesterday that when God put it in the heart of George Mueller to build orphanages he had fifty cents in his pocket. He stepped out in faith and trusted God for the impossible. When his life ended he had trusted God for land and massive buildings that could house thousands of orphans at one time without ever making the needs known to the public. He asked and trusted God for everything needed to take care of those orphans. That is living by faith. It does not take faith to finance kingdom projects. 
3. God wills His children to live in holiness. But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior because it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." [I Pet 1:15-16] Holiness is seldom preached or written about in the church these days. God calls his people to live set apart; lives consecrated to Him. God wills His people to put away sin and to devote their lives wholly to Him in holiness. God wills His church to clean up her act and lay aside every encumbrance that so easily entangles and trips her up. [Heb 12:1] Churches are filled with compromise. It is easier to break the promise to God than to live against the grain in society. Holiness is costly. It will cost you at the movie theater. It will cost you friends. It will isolate you from others in church. God wills holiness for His church. 
4. God wills His children to lay their lives down on the altar. Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship. [Rom 12:1] For the believer your life is not your own for you have been bought with a price. [I Cor 6:19] God wants every child of God offered to Him as a sacrifice on the altar. God wills every Christian to submit their lives wholly to Him. God wills all His followers to surrender all of their lives and remaining days to the Lord to do what He pleases. That means your plans, your agenda, your dreams, your comfort, all must die! Your life is His life. His plans must become your plans. His agenda has to be your sole agenda. His dreams must supplant your dreams. 

There are many other things that God wills but these are the four that are on my heart today. We do not have to spend our days saying, "God what do you will?" He has already revealed His will. So in conclusion here are some questions we all must ponder. Will we devote our remaining days to see the lost get saved? Will we devote ourselves to that mission? Will we walk out our remaining days in faith no matter what that means? Will we trust God and follow His leadership no matter how impossible it may look? Will we live in holiness or compromise our sin because others do it? Will we live a life set apart for Him? Lastly, will we lay our lives on the altar in surrender as a sacrifice to Him? Will we make ourselves available to Him for His purposes? These are the things God wills today. 

Trusting God to Move Mountains

Do you have any mountains standing in your way? I have several. Facing a mountain of any sorts is challenging and can cripple faith if the right focus is not maintained. I have lived long enough to know that there are always going to be some type of mountains for us to conquer.

Some mountains come early in life. As we become adults we face different mountains and in our retirement years the mountains may take on a different form. One mountain we all face is our own mortality. We do not get to choose how or when this will take place unless we take matters into our own hands.

Few ever contemplate when they are young in good health that one day they will die. Few think about things like alzheimer, cancer, leukemia, tumors, diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease when they are young. We know from experience these diseases take people all the time. We are all mortal.  Even the person in the best of shape with a clean bill of health will die one day. This is the plight of the human race.

One day last week one of the boys asked me about my age. I am nearly forty-seven. They wanted to know if I would be alive in a certain amount of years. I did some quick mathematics and discovered I would be around 96 if I lived that long. It dawned on me, I have most likely lived over half of my life and not accomplished near as much as I would like.

I have books to write. I am three quarters of the way finished with the rough draft of my next book, Weeping For a Night. I have three other books in the back of mind that need to be written. The Glorious Pursuit, Courage to be Uncommon, and a book about the Seminole revival back in 2010.

This church must grow and become more firmly established. We must grow in numbers and in spiritual maturity. We have land to buy one day and facilities to build. We also have other churches to plant all over the world.

The hospital in Honduras still needs tens of thousand of dollars to be paid off in full. I still long to see revival come to this land. I have more revivals and camps to preach.

I have a house to trust God to pay off. I have needs only the Lord knows. I have a wife who needs healing and strength to get through each day. I have four boys who will go to college but we do not know how the tuition will be paid.

Mountains everywhere I look. My time is running out to trust God to move each of these. I know I will not be around forever and neither will you. I must redeem the time I have left. That could be a few years or decades. Only God knows for sure. In whatever time God allows each of us to have will we trust him to move our mountains.

Truly I say to, whoever says to this mountain, "Be taken up and cast into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them and they will be granted you. [Mark 11:23-24]

There is much more to trust God to do. MUCH MORE! How will you live out your remaining days? Will you pilfer through life leaving no legacy of faith? Will you coward under the shadow of the mountains you face? Will you rise up in true faith and believe God to move your mountains?

Mountains do not move by wishful thinking and vain imagination. Mountains move by the sovereign hand of God in response to confident, fervent, and relentless praying. Mountains are moved when men and women believe God has a different future, another preferred ending to the story, and something he wills to take place. Mountains are moved by relentless praying. Mountains are moved when we do not entertain doubt but believe that what God has moved us to ask him for will come to pass.

We all face different mountains. Yours are different than mine. How will you end your days. Will you shrink back in unbelief or step up to the faith challenge. History is filled with unanswered prayers and with destinies God did not prefer because his people would not pray. They refused to believe God to move their mountains and they died on the wrong side. On the other hand history is also filled with stories of men and women who not only believed God to move mountains, they believed God for the impossible and saw the impossible turn into reality. They defied the naysayers of their day and stood in resolved faith. Hudson Taylor and Lottie Moon believed God for souls in China. George Mueller believed God to rescue thousands of orphans. George Whitfield believed for spiritual awakening.

That is what we must do today. We must believe God to move the mountains. For me none is bigger than believing God to rescue this hell bound nation we call the United States from our defiant sin and apathy in the church. I believe God to send another nation wide revival where believers are repentant and where spiritual awakening takes place again. That and building Faith Community Church would be my ark to leave behind at the end of my days.

I want to trust God to move each of these mountains. In fact, that has become a new "motto" for me and Faith Community Church. We must keep trusting God to move mountains in our personal lives, in our family, in our churches, and in our community.

Firm in His Grip

You might be sailing on smooth glassy seas these days or you might find yourself in the middle of hurricane like circumstances. Yesterday I entered a hurricane. It is not important for me to go into details. Suffice it to say my entire life was turned upside down yesterday afternoon.

Since then I have sat around in a kind of daze. I got up around 3:00 a.m. just staring at my computer screen for the longest time contemplating my hurricane from different perspectives. No matter what I am going through today, or will face in the future, I have the choice to face all in faith. I am held firm in God's grip. I do not have control but God has control of me and what happens to me.

For years I have ministered to the suffering through prayer, preaching, writing, and personal visits. I have sought to bring comfort to the hurting. I have exhorted people to keep trusting God in the middle of their private pain. Now I am having to be reminded of these same lessons for my own life.

What was supposed to be a routine eye exam for glasses yesterday turned into much more. The doctor diagnosed two serious issues. One may require laser surgery. The other we are not sure about yet but he has recommended me to go see two more doctors. He is confident I am facing a serious health issue. His diagnosis stunned me. I am still stunned nineteen hours later.

I am still held firmly in God's grip. Though stunned and sobered I am not distraught. My life, family, and ministry are all in His grip. I want to courageously face the future trusting Him in every season of life. Good people who love God and serve him suffer severely. I am not immune and neither is my wife. She suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis. She very seldom ever has a good day when she is not in pain. She makes the best of it though. She knows she is held firm in God's grip.

The doctor looked me square in the eyes telling me of his concern. He firmly told me to get with my family doctor immediately and to make an appointment with an eye specialist without delay. His concern got my attention. While most of yesterday I sailed on tranquil seas a tumultuous storm blew in unexpectedly and I cling to God with all my might.

I can face my future with cowardice or with courageous faith. I am choosing the path of faith. Though there is still much unknown the one truth I cling to this afternoon is that Matt Edwards and the whole Edwards household are held firm in His grip.

Dedicate the Season

Last night we gathered at Faith Community with several of our coaches and athletes to dedicate the upcoming season and school year to the Lord. Our coaches spoke and challenged our students. We also had a guest preacher from Fellowship of Christian Athletes and Paradise alumni, Corbin Young, give a closing message.

One by one coaches challenged students to live and play for the glory of God. Through wins, losses, injuries, or championships and personal accolades, everyone was challenged to bring all the glory back to God. We were challenged to use sports to bring the whole community together.

Our athletes were challenged to use their influence to point people to Christ. This was illustrated last night when a mother of a sixth grade son came up to me and told me that Taylor's comments to her son this summer in a work out made her son's day. All Taylor said was "You worked hard today," and hugged the little boy. The mother had to make the little boy take a bath because he did not want to wipe the sweat off from a varsity football player. Athletes have incredible influence.

The night ended with pee wee football players huddled together in prayer one by one dedicating the upcoming season to God. The high school volleyball and football players huddled together to do the same. The coaches formed another huddle to pray and the parents gathered together to pray as well.

It was a neat night. I have never been a part of a night like that going into the start of a season. When from the head coach down to junior high coaches the main focus was God getting the glory for athletic success. It fired me up.

All over the nation high school and college athletes are finishing up two a day practices getting ready for the upcoming season. There are many dreams and aspirations. Some play for their own personal glory. They see themselves as bigger than the team. Others play for the glory and pride of their school. A few play for God and give themselves over to him to be a vessel that brings him glory.

Maybe your athletic days are over like me. You had your chance and now you are a career person. I challenge you as a parent to continually point your young athletes to play for the glory of God. I have been coaching pee wee football and I used to coach baseball for many years having four sons. At the end of practices I still give a devotion and we end in prayer. I do a devotion before the games and we have a prayer. I challenge these young players to play for God's glory.

Dedicate the season means as an adult you can be a catalyst to unite your community as opposed to being a person who seeks to divide. You can pray for your coaches and athletes. You can cheer and support your team and community for God's glory. You can speak words of encouragement rather than words of destruction from the stands. That would be a welcome sound for all. Let us all dedicate the season to God and trust him with the outcome.

Ignite

Our hearts are dry like the prairie,
The condition of the church scary,
Holiness has nearly become extinct,
Your followers no longer live distinct,
Many content to go through the motions,
Lukewarm - no passion - no fire - no emotion,
Lord we plead with you come and ignite,
Not tomorrow but we plead do it tonight,
Ignite a flame that spreads out in revival,
Awakening growing like a wave tidal,
Bending knees before you come to repent,
Glory falling in a fiery blazing descent,
Consuming hearts ablaze like hot embers,
Setting on fire pastor and all the members,
Lord you can ignite hearts and set  them ablaze,
Burning for you as prayers are constantly raised,
Come Holy Spirit blow on dead souls to ignite,
Until the church is revived and again set aright.

Dry Bones

I live in a valley of exceedingly dry bones,
Churches filled with the echo of death moans,
Hearts dry, barren and parched like a desert,
Where few live holy like they're true converts,
Death - death - pervades - the stench is all around,
Revival sought in prayer but nowhere is it found,
 Lord of the valley - bone to bone lie still in death,
You can bring revived life through your God breath,
We need you to usher in another day of true revival,
A Holy Ghost inspired pathway for genuine survival,
Is there a way you can use me to labor bringing healing,
To rescue a nation astray and lost souls the Devil's stealing,
I know there is a remnant - I do not stand and serve alone,
Others pray and labor in the middle of this valley of dry bones.

Revival

I just hung up the phone from a dear sister in Christ. She asked me to pray for revival for the town of Kermit, TX. God has weighed revival on my heart for more than just a small town in west Texas. I have a burden for revival for our nation. I will and have prayed for Kermit, TX as well as Paradise, TX and beyond.

I am not talking about a scheduled series of meetings where a guest preacher comes and some extra services are scheduled. I am talking about where God comes to invade a church, a community, and a nation with deep conviction of sin, moving believers to repentance, and transforming the morale climate  of entire communities and countries. God has done this in the past. We desperately need him to do it again in this day.

Well over a year ago the Lord spoke something to me I can't shake. Part of his plan for my life is that I will be a catalyst for revival. I am not sure what form that will take. Presently it is primarily through prayer. It also may come through my writing. I believe God wants to use me to preach revival messages on the local scene as well as beyond. Since that time I have been praying that God would open doors to preach revival in local churches and beyond. I have the possibility of a revival meeting in the works this fall near here. I pray other meetings would follow.

Whether I preach revivals or not I cannot shake the burden that our local communities need a true move of God to turn the hearts of the people back to him. We need a great move of God to work in our midst.  Apathy abounds in the church today. Hypocrisy is rampant from the church leadership down to the students in the youth group. Dead, dry, and decaying hearts listen to the sermon week after week but there is no change. Nothing ever changes in many churches. WE NEED REVIVAL. No. WHAT WE NEED IS GOD AND FOR HIM TO MAKE US COME ALIVE IN HIM!

I have been in services where God did just that. No words could ever describe those encounters with God. The reverence for the Lord pervaded the building. The worship enthralled our souls. The word of God cut deep, and the Spirit of God descended in weightiness dropping people to their knees in repentance and tears of brokenness.

I want to give my remaining days to the pursuit of God and the revival of his church across this nation. I am at his disposal to do with as he pleases. For now I will continue my pursuit in prayer asking God to ignite revival fire in me and that it would spread.

Full Life

O Lord what a full life you have let me lead,
An abundant life rich - full - blessed indeed,
You've given me people to love and embrace,
A smile comes when I recall each one's face,
Three times you've given a house of my own,
A place to live and laugh - a place to call home,
You have allowed me to serve some great people,
As pastor gathered for worship under the steeple,
What can I say - what can I do - what can I give,
From a life so blessed - so abundantly well lived,
I offer this heart filled with gratitude and praise,
From the depths of sin this dead man you raised,
To give me purpose and a life filled with meaning,
In you do I trust and my life is always leaning,
Thanks O Lord for a life mixed with trial and pain,
A full and blessed life over which you ever reign.

Nostalgia

I have been up for over an hour, and like I do most mornings, I check the status on this blog to see how many readers we have had. One thing led to another and I found myself reading blogs from back in 2009. That was the year we moved to Seminole.

For the past hour I read about how God transitioned us out there, praying for and watching God provide us a home, transitioning into a new office, and three months later visiting with people in Paradise and praying with them on a Friday night around Thanksgiving. Memory after memory made. I relived each one of them in my mind. I relived the prayer time I had with my family as we closed on our house in Seminole. I relived mowing the lawn and all the people whom we had the privilege to entertain in our home. Great memories. I even read what I wrote about a chair in the office out in the pastor's office at FBC Seminole. I will never forget the first time I sat in that office chair and the weight of responsibility that fell on my shoulders. I read about a prayer time I had underneath the pulpit there and how God moved so mightily in the days that followed.

I write this blog in a different chair. I bought this office chair in 1998 when we founded NO COMPROMISE Ministries. This chair has been dragged from east Texas, to north central Texas, to west Texas and now back to north central Texas. I have prayed in this chair, written blogs and books here, studied, and read seated in this very chair.

This morning I awoke and took the few steps from my side of the bed to this office. I sat in this chair and pulled out my computer. From there I took a trip down memory lane. Nostalgia set in as I relived one memory after another. When I read about moving to Seminole and memories made there, I kept thinking to myself, it ended too soon. We made a lifetime of memories with those people in only two years. To this day I cannot believe it is over. I also read about our reunion in Paradise only three months after we moved to Seminole. I read about tears shed as I prayed in a kitchen with all of those assembled before we left that night. None of us knew that we would return and I would once again serve as pastor for many of them.

It has now been back here two years since leaving Seminole. I can still see those people in my mind and recall our last days there. Now it those people I have prayed with on back porches and in living rooms. I have been back numerous times for one thing or another. Much of my heart is still out there in the flat farm lands of windy west Texas.

I have seen God work both in me and around me at Faith Community Church. We have seen the attendance rise, fall, and rise again. We have walked this road of faith together trusting God time and time again as challenges have arisen. When I look back on how we have survived I can only say God has been our Provider. So many times people from Seminole, TX have been the source of God's provision. Even though we now have a house we are still walking by faith trusting Him for our daily supply.

Now the Edwards family has transitioned into a new life in a new home. I think of all the men and women who helped us pack and move. I think of all the prayers so that our family would one day have a home. I think of those who have stopped by the house to see for themselves and of the couple who donated their time as interior decorators to make the house our home out of hearts of love for their pastor.

I think of the sweet services we have enjoyed lately. Though the attendance has been low our spirits have been high. I think of this weekend when all Brenda's family came over for a birthday celebration. Some of them had not been here yet. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed a great time together. I am thinking of time I shared with Turner at the driving range teaching him to play golf yesterday afternoon and how the week before I did the same thing with Tanner. I watched as three of the boys played hole number five behind our backyard toward dark. So many memories.

My life is the richer for all of them. So many relationships. My heart is full because of each of them. So many testimonies. My faith is stronger because of them. So many churches. My wisdom is broader because of time spent in each of them.

Drawing Near

On this Sunday morning I come to draw near,
To see you better with a vision crystal clear,
I yearn to linger long in worship of you,
Stale religion is rotten and will never do,
I long to sing with a heart in full surrender,
To meditate - your faithfulness to remember,
There is no God who can compare to you,
Who grants me an eternal point of view,
There is no other who deserves my praise,
And my life in service for all of my days,
So today, I come to get closer - to draw near,
Until I come to you and I am no longer here.

All of Me

I am not the man that I would like to be,
Filled with sin you - do not have all of me,
I wander and stray too often I am wrong,
My patience short - my temper too long,
My faith becomes weak under the trials,
 I say I love and serve you all the while,
How often do I stumble -trip and fall,
You painfully watching aware of it all,
I do not give up but seek to deal a blow,
To my flesh - and unto the Spirit I sow,
A death blow to sin straight through the heart,
Bidding them all behind me forever to depart,
Crucified and buried to harass me no more,
Resolved to surrender in this spiritual war,
O Lord please hear my urgent earnest plea,
Please consume and take every part of me.

(Inspired by a rebuke from my wife about my attitude around the house.)

Trusting for the Unseen

Faith is the assurance of things hoped and the evidence of things not seen. [Heb 11:1]

There are things God wills to exist that do not exist today. They remain unseen to the naked eye. The reason they remain unseen is that they do not exist in the physical realm even though God wills and plans for those things to exist in the future.

Yesterday, I had one of those prayer times when you lose track of time and get so caught up in the presence of God you forget all else around you. I have no idea how long it lasted but it started with reading [Hebrews 11:1] and asking God this one question: what do you want me to believe you for.

The next thing I knew I had a legal pad writing down things I sensed God wants me to believe him to do. If I told you even half of them you would laugh me right off this site. So for now, I keep those things close to my heart. God revealed unseen things he wills to happen. So I trust him for them. I began asking for them yesterday and continued those prayers this morning. I have no assurance any of those things will happen quickly or easily. I am sure there will be testing.

Though I cannot see the unseen with my physical eyes, with the eyes of faith, I see each and everyone of those things coming into concrete reality. I see Faith Community Church growing. I mean REALLY GROWING! I see serving beside people I love and whom have heard God's call to join us in this work. I see the church buying land without going into debt and building facilities one day without debt either. I see this church planting other churches all over the world. God has given us our first opportunity to partner with a new church start called Emmaus Church in Corpus Christi. There is more but at this time I cannot share those things.

God plants the unseen in people's heart all the time. God planted an ark in Noah's mind and heart. Twelve decades later it became reality in completion. God planted a son in Abraham's heart and over two decades later that son was born. Isaac was the beginning of the fulfillment of God's promise for Abraham to become the father of a covenant nation. During a severe drought rain had not been seen in Israel for three years. Elijah prayed and the unseen became seen as rain poured from the skies.

A guy named Jerry Falwell saw the unseen of a church that became known as Thomas Road Baptist Church and a college with the land for it on top of a mountain now known as Liberty University. A missionary had a vision to take the gospel to heathen lands years before anyone in his generation was doing that named William Carey. An evangelist had a vision for preaching great crusades in stadiums to see the lost won to Christ even though it was unseen at the time. We know him today as Billy Graham.

This world is filled today with things that at one time were unseen by people but were seen by some man or woman who asked God, what do you want me to believe you for. He put the unseen in their hearts and they trusted, prayed, and labored to the see the unseen become seen.

What is God wanting you to trust for today? Have you asked him? Are you willing to stop what you are doing and to ask him right now? Will you believe him for the unseen no matter how outlandish it might seem? I pray today is the day we will begin trusting God for the unseen as he plants dreams and visions in our hearts.

Deeper

I approached you like a child approaching a pool,
Yet you are more than pool more like an ocean,
I come like an eager student ready to be schooled,
Awed by your vastness and all you've set in motion,
I know I have played in safe waters far too shallow,
Safe and secure where my feet can touch the floor,
You want me to come deeper - more deeply to hallow,
You and your infinite worth - you are so much more,
Than my mind can conceive - or my words can express,
You are deeper than my experience is able to explain,
You are broader than my heart can take in and fully digest,
Your magnitude this world cannot ever control or contain,
Yet you summon insignificant me to come out deeper,
To launch further into you experiencing joy - peace galore,
To relentlessly pursue a fellowship and communion sweeter,
To swim deeper in you than I have ever dared to swim before.

(Inspired by a prayer of John Wesley to be more consecrated to God.)

The Righteous Live By Faith

But My righteous one will live by faith; and if he draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him. [Heb 10:38]


Faith is a funny thing. Some day you have huge faith and other days you struggle. Some days you soar over trials as you trust God and other days you get weighed down. Now here is the truth. It takes faith (confidence and assurance) to trust Christ for salvation. We trust when we are repentant and believe Jesus for forgiveness through grace. We get what we believed for.

If we can trust Jesus with something as important as our souls and eternity; why do we find it hard to trust in the everyday mundane affairs of life. Things like paying for college, buying cars, making mortgage payments, and buying school clothes and school supplies. At times it seems the money is going out faster than families can bring it in. When this happens how many people begin to doubt not trusting God.

Satan gets involved in this as well. He relentlessly releases fiery darts of doubt and dark thoughts in the middle of our crisis. These fiery darks can only be extinguished with the shield of faith. [Eph 6:16] We must keep trusting God all day and every day. That is easier said than done when your whole world is being rocked. When doubt clamps down on your mind like a vice grip prayer becomes harder to do especially, when it comes to praying fervently.

If we can trust Christ to give us clemency from our sin irregardless of our guilt and worthiness of punishment, why should we doubt when it comes everyday life. I can trust God for whatever is in front of me. So can you. We are not of the type that shrinks back in doubt and unbelief. We are the kind of followers of Christ who have enduring faith.

My family endured in prayer along with many of you for two years that our house in Seminole would sell and that God would provide us a house here. He did both. There were days when I thought neither would happen. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. My faith felt like a roller coaster. In the end God came through. That does not mean faith stops there. It is always living by faith for the child of God.

When we went to our closing for this house the lady who did our paper work showed us the payment schedule and how long it would take to pay the house off. She said the house will be paid off in and then she named a year. I told her that was not true. By faith I firmly stated the house will be paid off much earlier than that. From the day we secured this house my prayer has been, "God, I ask you to pay down the debt and pay this off." That is impossible with me. I do not have those kind of financial resources. God does. I trust him to pay this off entirely. It could come through a book I write, a generous donation,  a series of outside preaching engagements, or any other number of ways. I pray this for one simple reason. I hate debt. The rich rules over the poor and a borrower is slave to the lender. [Prov 22:7] I want my money freed up to do more for God's kingdom. Seek you first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. [Matt 6:33] So I ask God to pay the house off early so I can do more kingdom minded things. Faith does not stop there. This does not mean that I do not use my money now to build the kingdom because the house is not paid off. It is by faith that we give obediently as God directs.

As a pastor I wonder how I will pay for my children to go to school. A wise friend told me months ago that God will make a way just as God did for his four children. My friend has never owned a house or made great sums of money. Today all four of his children are out of college without having to have gone into debt. God can do the same for all of our children.

We are called to live by faith everyday. If we can trust Christ with the salvation of our souls, we can also trust him with whatever we are facing today. He has this. It reminds me of the sign someone gave me for my office years ago. It read, "Matt, trust me. I have everything under control. Jesus" 

I Surrender All

Lord I come to surrender my all,
All given for the sake of your call,
I give you all of my ministry dreams,
That often have come apart at the seams,
I surrender my well thought out plans,
Of success and fame all now canned,
I surrender my family each loved one,
To you to use until your will is done,
I surrender my writings all at your feet,
Each and every book yours complete,
I surrender all of my remaining days,
Though the world may think me crazed,
Gladly do I come and surrender my all,
Given to you for the sake of your call.

Abandoned

I want to live my life even more abandoned to God. Part of the definition for the word abandoned means to give up control - to yield oneself without restraint or moderation. That is the earnest cry of my heart.  I want to give up all control of my life to the Lord. I want to be completely and utterly yielded to him without any restraint.

I think I know what I am seeking and asking of God. I want him to have all of me. My sleep. My labors. My appetite. My free time. My recreation. My family. My ministry. My possessions. I want to be totally abandoned to him.

This is the New Testament picture of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Far too many people want the fire insurance of salvation without abandoning their lives to him. It doesn't work that way. I heard many years ago a saying that Jesus is either Lord of all or not Lord at all. I want him to be Lord of every fiber of my being.

While I thought I had lived abandoned to him in in the past, being willing to move and relocate my ministry without thought of financial compensation, I am learning now how wrong I have been. To be abandoned does not just mean in the big things like being willing to move to another town, state, or even another country. Living abandoned means even in the little things. Like when I sit down to eat. Like how I relate to other people. Like what I view on television. Like my temper as I react to different situations. Like my dreams and desires as a pastor and author. Living abandoned means total and unconditional surrender.

That is what Jesus has been after in me all along. He wanted me to abandon all to him. I wanted to serve him with my desires sprinkled in. I wanted to yield to him but I also wanted control of certain areas of my life. Now I have come to see he demands complete abandonment. Complete surrender. Complete yielding. Complete and utter forsaking of what I want in favor of what he wants.

I have spent a good portion of the morning on my face crying out for God to take control of every part of my life. I am not seeking an experience. I am seeking more of him. He wants more than just the big things of my life. He wants all of me. Down to the last drop. As much as I know how, I am willingly offering him everything.

Now I see in hindsight that many of the trials I have gone through have been God pushing me more and more to complete abandonment to him. How often I resisted the pressure from his loving hands and complained how it hurt. All he wanted from me was complete yielding to him and his purposes. I thought I knew the better way and wasted nearly two years in prayer whining.

Once again I sit in my new home office writing this. Though I am as grateful as I have ever been for a place to live, I also know this house and office are a blessing to be enjoyed and not an idol to serve. Living abandoned means that I may get to enjoy this house for decades and I may be called to uproot and leave it one day. Living abandoned means my money is his money. He can do with it anything he pleases. My money is abandoned to him. My house is abandoned to him. My possessions are abandoned to him. My boys are abandoned to him and with one entering his senior year and preparing for college who knows where God will lead him.

Living abandoned means I do not have the right to drive a new vehicle every time I want. It means that I trust Him for provision rather than depending on a church. It means that each time I walk into a store I do not have to buy something. It means my time is his time. I do not have to have a vacation or a day off. I do not have to have a plush retirement account. Living abandoned means that my days are to be given in pursuit of what I was created to do. To preach and to write. Living abandoned means that I may not ever get to enjoy retirement but may labor until the day I die.

Living abandoned to God means more than I ever contemplated before. It is still what I want. I want Jesus to have every part of me. Totally abandoned to him. I desire to put my whole life and family in his hands to do with whatever he desires.

More Than a Feeling

Many will gather for worship today but will many worship today? Songs will be sung but how many songs will be sung from the heart as opposed to just sung mindlessly? Offerings will be given but how many will offer their lives? Choirs will sing but how many choirs will perform and how many will actually sing their songs as unto the Lord and not unto men?

It is easy to go through the external forms of worship. You can show up. You can sing. You can give. You can listen. You can depart. You can do all of those things and not draw one inch closer to God nor experience Him. You can say the words of prayer from rote memory and not actually pray. O, the love of many has grown cold in these last days.

This morning I am chewing on a question. At first I thought I had the answer and was ready to move on quite satisfied with my response. Upon deeper contemplation I am not so sure I have the right answer. This is not a theologically tough question. It is rather simple. DO NOT LET THE SIMPLICITY FOOL YOU. THIS CUTS TO THE HEART OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. Here is the question to be pondered. DO I LOVE CHRIST FIRST AND MOST?

I am not referring to sentimental feelings that can change as fast as the weather. We have all had those experiences coming off a camp or revival when we feel closer to Christ. Those feelings do not last. The heart of this question cuts much deeper than feelings. We need more than a feeling to serve Christ with endurance.

Jesus responded to the question of which commandment is the greatest by saying, "You shall love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, this is the great and foremost commandment." [Matt 22:37-38] Jesus said this commandment was foremost. That means it is the most important and is to be the most highly esteemed. Again this has to go way beyond a sentimental feeling to an act of the will.

Can you think of anyone you love more than Christ? Do not be so quick to answer. I have known people who loved their children more than Christ. I have known children who loved their parents more than Christ. I have known those who loved a spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend more than Christ.

Once that question has been answered truthfully then we must move on to consider whether we love anything more than Christ. Money? Vehicles? Prestige? Power? Houses? For the third time in our married lives Brenda and I have recently bought a home. It is my favorite home of all three for several reasons. For one thing, we had to wait so long to get it. Secondly, I have a legitimate office at home. Third it is spacious enough for us to entertain others. My favorite part of this house by far is having my own office spaces. It is where I am typing this. It is where I seek the Lord in prayer and scripture reading. It is where I study and I write. Yet, I can say I love Christ more than this house we prayed and waited for two long years.

Maybe you can truthfully say I love Christ more than any other person or any other thing. It is more than a feeling. Then let me ask you one final question. Do you love Christ more than your sin? Ouch! That question really stings. Does sin ever appear more appealing and more alluring than Jesus? In those moments we need more than a feeling to resist sin and choose Christ. When we love Christ more there is no choice; Christ wins hands down every time. When we love Christ less and the feelings have worn off sin proves too powerful and too enticing.

As you gather for public worship today, I ask will you go for the sentimental feeling? Will you be satisfied with the external forms of worship devoid of meaning? Will you be content with the external forms without the inward experience with your Lord today? Are you looking for more than a feeling this morning. Christ longs to be longed for and waits to be wanted today. He is more than a feeling.

Tragedy

My heart sunk when I heard the tragic news,
Of hearts shattered and faith beaten - bruised,
My heart grieved for those suffering just now,
Wondering why and questioning the tragic how,
Such a tragic event could so suddenly occur,
When a phone call turned world into a blur,
What a thin veil of protection each one treads,
When a moment we face what we each dread,
Life is fragile, how often do we tend to forget,
Until tragedy strikes and we left with our regrets,
Sovereign Lord, we are in need of you just now,
Though our hearts grieve at your feet we still bow,
We cannot understand, it is beyond our reasoning,
How suffering comes added to life like seasoning,
I do not understand why you called our sister home,
Why my brother is left to endure this tragedy alone,
O how I plead you show yourself faithful in this hour,
Granting strength and not allowing his faith to sour,
I ask you to help heal his broken and heart shattered,
I ask you to hold him tight while beaten and battered,
You alone can help him endure this night of weeping,
Thinking of his beloved dancing in worship a leaping,
I entrust my brother into your faithful loving hands,
Until he reaches that blissful shore over in Beulah land.

Wordsmith

I beat words on my anvil to write what I say,
I pound, hammer shaping them in a vast array,
I labor over words to communicate God's truth,
On the anvil of this keyboard I labor like a sleuth,
Seeking to discover more insight into the Bible,
Writing of God's character and how He is reliable,
I corral words to write blogs, books, and rhymes,
Seeking to dispel darkness wherever truth shines,
On the anvil I pound and labor capturing thoughts,
From one forgiven - redeemed - one blood bought.