Child of God

While sitting at the dining table in this mountain retreat reading the Gospel of John this morning, the Lord spoke to me in one of those special moments that you tend not to forget. I had just finished reading through Luke but I felt impressed to keep reading. It only took twelve verses into John for God to invade my thoughts, heart, and life.

"But as many as received Him to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who  believe on His name, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." [Jn 1:12-13]

It was October of 1983 when I believed on the name of Jesus Christ for salvation. That fact has never been up for debate in my mind. I know Jesus saved me that Thursday night. It felt pretty dramatic.

The way I related to God after that was mostly as a servant or a bond-slave as Paul often referred to himself. The more I thought about the cross and what Jesus did for my redemption, the more I wanted to serve Him. Nothing too big, too hard, too risky. I lived as a servant, preached as a servant, and related to God as a servant. Serving God included lots of duty. I reported each day for my marching orders and then sought to fulfill them dutifully. It was never in an effort to repay God. It was always motivated out of gratitude.

That is not what God had in mind this morning. While reading those verses the phrase "He gave the right to become children of God," stopped me in my tracks. I reflected on those words for a long time. It moved me deeply that my relationship with God is much than than a servant relating to a master. No, God gave me the right to become His child, a beloved son. That moves me deeply. As a father of four sons I know how I feel about them and the rights and privileges they have for no other reason than the fact that they are my children, my boys.

I did not earn this right to become a child of God. I did not will myself to attain this right through hard work or good living. No. All I did was believe (which I believe God opened my eyes and enabled me to do). He did the rest. He gave me the right, or let's say the birth certificate, to be called His child and brought into the family.

This has several implications for me. First, it means that I am loved irregardless of my performance. When my children fail I am quick to remind them that my love for them is not based on their performance. My performance of late has been less than stellar. I am still a child of God and loved by the Father. I am not saying my sinful actions do not anger Him. He is holy and He demands that I live in holiness. Yet He is patient, kind, and even loving to the point of chastisement when needed. Very humbling and yet very fulfilling. Yes, God wants me to serve Him but what God wants from me more than anything is that I enjoy being His child. This is something I must rest in.

As God's child I am assured I will always be provided for. Taylor, Tanner, Tucker, and Turner never wonder if they are going to eat. They know they will be provided with food. They may not know what it is and they may not always like the menu; like with Taylor and lasagna, Tanner with salad, Tucker with vegetables, or Turner with eggs. Still they know a meal will be provided for them. When it came time for Taylor to drive, after a lot of prayer, a truck was provided for him. In the same way as God's child I have been, am, and will always be provided for. Hallelujah! Do you know how much pressure that takes off my shoulders to be reminded that I am a child and God is my Father. He delights to meet my needs and bless me more than I delight to meet the needs of my children and to bless them.

As one of God's children I am also assured of His protection. From the enemy, from sin, from wayward actions, from losing my way. God protects me in ways I may never fully understand. I seek to protect my children from physical and spiritual harm and from making foolish mistakes. God does the same for me. What a wonderful reminder here in New Mexico. This one quiet time was worth the whole trip.

As God's child I receive His nurture. Man have I received that during this retreat. His peace, His consoling, His sorting out truth from confusion, and His rest have all been poured out on me. I love to hug my boys. I often still kiss them on the cheek. Today in those two small verses I received that same kind of nurture from God. In essence He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. What a treasure.

I have never felt I really belonged. Through my college years my relationships with all my family began to deteriorate and there came a point when I felt the only family I truly had were Brenda, Jennifer, and the boys. Often even in places of ministry I have felt detached like I was on the outside looking in. As a child of God I belong to Him and I am not alone. Just like my boys will always have a home with me and belong to our family so I belong to God and am at home in Him. I cannot put into words what that means for me. Most of my life I have been trying to prove myself and to prove that I belong. Not necessarily to God but in society. No more. I belong to God and that is enough.

Here is the best part. I did not will this to happen. My flesh did not earn it. I was made a child of God by the will of God. That means the intention and pleasure of God. He chose me. He adopted me. He wanted me. Therefore I bring pleasure to God just by being His son. Just like I enjoy walks with my boys, little talks, private meals alone with each of them, God delights in the time we spend together. Over these past several days we have had a lot of time to spend together. In those moments, without me preaching or teaching, without me leading any cause, without me doing anything but enjoying Him and learning again that I am His son, I brought pleasure to my God.

Maybe this will not hit you the same way it hit me. I can't put it all into words. I just know I am His child. I belong. I am loved. That is good enough for me.