Heart to Heart

Father,

On this morning I come to have a heart to heart with you. More than anything on this earth I want to know you. You know that is the truth. I confess there are times I do not like the path getting to know you takes me down. If the end result is I really getting to know you I want to keep on this journey.

My soul is troubled. It has been for some time. I have sought you and sought you. Often confusion clouds my mind keeping me from seeing you and your purposes. I would have never chosen this path for myself while a college student dreaming about the future. It has not been an easy journey. You have tried and tested me over and over again. My foolish choices have added adversity into our lives. My stubborn pride has brought your severe chastisement. Yet you have been faithful every step of the way.

Here I am. Just you and me alone in this office on this Saturday morning. I am drawing near to you to have a heart to heart because I honestly do not know what you are up to. Many of my prayers have gone unanswered in the way I would have liked. Most of my burdens have been internal. At times when I thought I heard from you clearly it turned out I did not hear from you at all. This only brings additional confusion to my mind.

So here I am. All that I am I bring before you. My triumphs and my Titanic failures. I have nothing hide for you know it all. I want to know you even it means through the fellowship of your sufferings. I want to walk with you even it means I find myself walking at odds with my generation. I find myself feeling more alone than I have in the past twenty years. You have never left me. Though at the present you are silent I trust you are not absent.

You are here with me in this moment. You see my heart. You know my every thought. Before I form the next word on my tongue you know it. You know the secret tears and you are aware of my every need. Because you are with me there is no reason for me to fear, to be anxious, heavy laden, or discouraged. You are my help. No matter the need you are my help. I can lay every single burden onto your massively broad shoulders. They are all yours to manage, solve, and fix. Every burden, trial, affliction, and problem I lay at your feet.

Today I choose peace. I choose faith. I choose hope. I choose abundant life. I choose to overcome, prevail, and to conquer. In short I choose you. In your name, amen.