Crying A River

There are unbelievably sad moments in life. When I look around and see the devastation of sin in my life, the life of my family, my friends, my community and my country I feel deep grief. A grief deeper than ordinary sadness. There is a flood of tears dammed up behind the wall of my soul and tear ducts. Even a tiny pin prick would unleash a torrent.

Added to that is more grief over the suffering of so many people I love. The sufferings are varied by individual and family. Their grief is shared as my own. Again I feel a torrent of tears held back by a stiff upper lip and will power. At any moment the levy could give way to flooding grief.

I feel at times if I could just sit with the Lord and truly unload all my grief on Him the tears would flow unceasingly for awhile. There seems to be no time for such things. There is always somewhere else to be and something else that needs to be done.

I wonder how many others feel as I do. How many others trudge through their days with heavy hearts they fear might break wide open and the river of tears would flow. I wonder how many others walk around with a hole in their heart for various reasons brining intense sadness. I wonder how many feel the crushing weight of grief gripping and pressing down on their souls. The weight of each breath feels heavy. Even the normal duties of life feel cumbersome.

Some cannot get over the death of a parent, child, spouse or friend. They awaken each day to the startling realty their loved one is gone and never coming back. There will never again be a casual conversation other than in dreams or precious memories. There will never be a quiet dinner or a trip to the movie theater. There will be no more shared vacations or family holidays. As one lady told me years ago, you learn to live with the new reality of life without someone snatched by death but you never get over it.

For those grieving the death of someone close the tears come and go. Sometimes they come when least expected. You hear a song, read a scripture, hear a sermon, see a commercial or pass an old familiar stomp. Before you know it a tear trickles. Another follows. Embarrassed you quickly brush them away and find something to dab misty eyes. You try to get yourself together but there are moments when nothing can keep you from crying a river.

Such grief often makes others uncomfortable who are living in their pseudo bubbles of security and health. Sooner or later grief strikes us all. Those unaware of this truth will be ill prepared when the weeping for a night comes.

Because I grieve and have grieved tears do not make me uncomfortable. Not mine or others. Each tear  can be liquid pain oozing from a fractured soul. Each tear drop can be filled with pain, regret, remorse, repentance and reminiscing.

Yes, I know there are tears of joy. That is subject for another day. My subject is the tears caused by grief. I think of David's life and his sin with Bathsheba. Though God forgave him, David dealt with the consequences of that sin for the rest of his life. In his family he saw a daughter raped by a son, another son murder his rapist brother, and the murderous son betray him and try to overthrow him as king. David had multiple reasons to grieve crying a river, And the constant remorse to know he brought all that pain on himself by what he thought would be a casual one night stand.

How many reading this are currently floating on the jagged crags near the shore because you did not heed the warning of the Lighthouse in Jesus. The vessel of your life is damaged and you are taking own water. Your sin has not only impacted your life but those closet to you. Sometimes all you can do is cry a river of repentance.

How many live with he grief of grudges and the soul bruises of broken relationships with family or friends. The years have passed. The strong tower of pride has prevailed. Some have waited too late to make amends. The family member or friend has cut you off or worse they are dead and gone. This is a grief hard to bear. A river of tears portrays the pained soul.

Some people stroll through life stoically.. They never seem phased by anything. Others wear their emotions on their sleeves. Some view tears as a sign of weakness. In that estimation that would make Jesus weak because he wept over his friend Lazarus. No. Jesus is not weak. He is strong, mighty and powerful. He also created tears.

From where I sit today tears are not a sign of weakness. They are a gift from God. Sometimes words are not enough to express the depths of our private pain. Sometimes we cannot even pray in words to express the anguish deep inside. In those heart wrenching moments tears suffice.

So go ahead. If you need to cry a river unto the Lord find an quiet place and unload your grief on Him. He cares.

Psalm 55:22 (NASB) 
²²  Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.  Psalm 6:6 (NASB)
⁶  I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears.
Psalm 42:3 (NASB)
³  My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"  Psalm 56:8 (NASB)
⁸  You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? 

These verses are just a sampling. You are not alone in your grief. Others have felt the vice like grip of grief and have shed many tears. Sometimes it is good to go ahead and cry a river. God sees every tear. No tears falls unnoticed. Even if you cry a river.