The Bookends Of Life

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (ESV)
¹  For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
²  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

Last week Brenda and I  had the chance to make a hospital visit to see a young couple and their brand new baby boy. What a joy as they embark on this new chapter in their young married lives. New life. They wheeled the infant into the room. Of course Brenda oohed and awed over the baby. I smiled from ear to ear and remembered when I was first introduced to my boys after they were born. Truly worshipful experiences. 

I just got off the phone with a couple who lost their dad and father-in-law. He died unexpectedly. Their emotions were raw as we prayed over the phone. All too soon a son lost his daddy and a daughter-in-law lost her father-in-law. 

Such is the ebb and flow of life. Some are born today. Some will die today. And we are left to celebrate the one and grieve the other in between the bookends of birth and death. 

I have been present for both occasions. I have celebrated with couples as they held their bundles of joy. I've seen the love. I have witnessed the overly cautious parents wanting to do everything by the book. I have watched nervous first time parents staring in wild eyed wonder at the miracle of life. I have celebrated wit the long time parents who were blessed with another unexpected but divinely ordained new life. 

Over the years I have watched these infants grow into toddlers, children, teenagers, and into adulthood. How the time flies. 

On the other hand, I have held grieving wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, children and friends in my arms at the death of loved ones. There are no words to say. Over the years I have steered away from cliches. One of the most valuable pieces of advice offered to me as a young pastor was to just be there for people and pray for them. I have sat with families with the deceased still in the room and offered prayer. I have fought back the tears myself seeing the grief in the members of the flock mourning the loss of a loved one. I have no words to make the pain go away. 

It is hard to imagine that on one side of town a new life comes and just a few blocks away another life can end. 

At only 50 years of age I've learned some things along the way. Life is a gift. So many people take life for granted. Life is a precious gift. Each day is a day to  make and cherish memories. Each day is an opportunity to be the hands of feet of Jesus to others.

Most parents can remember sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and crying babies because they are hungry. Those days are exhausting. Especially if you have more than one child. There are celebrations when the child crawls, bobbles back and forth learning to walk , and then starts talking.

Some parents are in a hurry for that child to learn to talk. Those of us who are seasoned veterans are more patient. We know once they start they will not stop until they become teenagers. They will become sullen, distant, moody, and want more and more independence as teens.

With sad hearts I have sat next to parents dropping their children off at college. I have experienced it myself. Our table is only two thirds full now days.

One day those little children will grow up into adults. They will fall in love and marry. In time many will be blessed to become parents. They will know the joy of fatherhood and motherhood. There will be many milestones along the way.

Those same parents will age. First their is young adulthood. Begrudgingly they will move into middle age. At some point the autumn of middle age gives way to the winter of senior adulthood. The hair grays or departs. Hair starts growing in places you never expected before like in your nostrils and out your ears. The joints start to ache a little more than they used to. Bodies will tire more easily. They might become a little more forgetful.

Over time they will attend the funerals of parents, siblings, extended family, and close friends. They will see preachers come and see preachers go. They will learn the reality of living on a fixed income.

One day, all too soon. some will experience the excruciating grief of the death of a spouse. They will muddle through the initial days and the funeral in shock. The reality sets in over and over again in the days, months, and years to come. The bed is cold and empty where the departed husband or wife once slept. The cozy table for two now becomes a lonely table of one. The television is kept on, not so much to watch, as just to have a little noise in the house. It is harder to cook for just one when you have spent decades cooking for a family.

The senior adult still has their church if they are followers of Jesus. Those are days to look forward to. Sundays and Wednesdays with a few other special days sprinkled in between. They enjoy their class and fellowships. Over time though they will sit next to other grieving widows and widowers experiencing the same pain and loss. Sadly the senior adult will watch their class dwindle in attendance as people die. Then a few new ones will drift in. Some will age to the point they will graduate to the senior adult class. Their next promotion after that will be eternity. New people move into the community or transfer their memberships adding new faces. New friendships are made.

Still there is the isolation at home. While new parents are frantically trying to feed and bathe the infant the senior adult sits alone. Reading a book. Watching a TCM movie. Listening to music If they are savvy enough they may browse social media to see what everyone else is up to.

As the senior adult ages he or she will often feel cold no matter what the temperature is outside or in a room. They may wear long sleeves or even a sweater. They may lose some of their earring and not catch all of a conversation. Their eyes may dim and they will need large print reading material.

Some are blessed to die in their sleep. They put their heads on their pillow and wake up in the presence of Jesus in heaven. Others will walk the painful road of deteriorating health. Life may linger but not active life. The senior adult may slowly become more and more homebound. They may not feel like getting out, not even to make a worship service. Leaving the house becomes laborious.

The kids will call from time to time. They will visit along with the grandchildren which brightens the day. Then the sad reality returns once everyone leaves. The house falls silent again except for the memories. Every picture a memory. Every room in the house brings back other memories of happier times. Songs remind the senior adult of their departed love. Old movies remind of sitting on the sofa watching movies together eating popcorn. Now the popcorn gets stuck in the teeth and the señor adult is often too tired to stay awake for the whole movie.

The sleep only comes in spurts each night. Those long lonely nights seem pass slowly like molasses over hotcakes.  A familiar pattern develops of trying to sleep but getting up and down all night. Prayer helps. In fact, prayer is about all the aging senior adult may feel like doing. As their health and strength wanes so does their feelings of usefulness. They may even question why God allows to linger longer. They yearn to go home. To their eternal home.

One day they graduate. Some go peacefully. Others suffer horribly before crossing over. Some die surrounded by family. Others die alone and are not discovered for days.

These are the bookends of life. People are born. At some point they die. None of us can escape these bookends should Jesus tarry in coming back. No matter how we try to fight it, try to ignore it, resist it this is the natural ebb and flow of life. There is birth. There is death. Death may come sooner for some and later for others but that is the final chapter.

The older I get the more I am able to enjoy both seasons of life. I can truly celebrate new birth. I see the sudden reality of death and how it rips the heart to shreds. I know I am somewhere in the middle. I know life is a gift. Children are a gift. Friendships are a gift. I am closer to the final chapter of my life than to the introduction.

I want to cherish life while I can and with those I love. I enjoyed holding Brenda in my arms a couple of days ago. I contented myself just to hold her, to listen to the rhythm of her breathing as she slept, to feel the softness of her hands, the warmth of her skin, and smell her hair. I took in that moment. I let it imprint on my mind. I do not want to forget it or take it for granted. I hope to have thousands or more moments like that.  I know many others would give anything for such an experience, or to drink coffee together, talk about the weather, or just to see their departed again.

In between the bookends of life let us live while we live. Live the full and abundant life Jesus purchased for us. [John 10:10] There will be distractions, temptations, trials, tragedies, and some triumphs along the way. Let us squeeze the most out of life in even the little experiences.

One day my last chapter will be closed. I hope through these writings to leave a legacy that points people to Jesus and minister hope and spiritual life  long after I am gone. Until that day I hope to get the most out of my remaining time between the bookends.