I Quit!

I am tired of trying. Tired of failing Tired of beating my head against this same wall. I am weary from  countless hours of fruitless efforts. My labors have been in vain.

This is not a decision I come to without much thought. There comes a time when you have to know how to bow out gracefully. There comes a time when defeat is inevitable. Sometimes quitting is not the desired option but the best option.

I tried. I can hold my head high and say I gave it my best effort. I thought the will to change things would be enough. I thought working hard putting in long hours would turn the tide. I was wrong on both accounts. It has not gotten better. In fact, it has gotten worse on many fronts.

I am exhausted. I no longer have the will or the desire to fight this battle. It has been a long and hard fought one but, I have to admit when I am licked. There is no use trying to talk me out of this. I have prayed about it a great deal. I have contemplated it as well. In my mind there is only one solution. It is time to quit. To resign. To surrender. To admit reality.

Some would argue against such a decision. I am sure they would cite many verses about perseverance and endurance. In many instances they would be right. My mind is made up though. I cannot be talked out of quitting. Not this time.  Those who truly know me know when my mind is made up I will resolutely follow through with action no matter the consequences.

I don't know what lies ahead. So without further adieu I offer my official resignation....

From trying to live out my faith in my strength and my will. I quit trying to be a good Christian and a faithful pastor, both of which I fail at miserably, in my own power, with my own wisdom, and in my own strength. I blunder my way through life. I stumble over myself repeatedly in my service to God. I get tripped up over my own sinful nature. So I give up. I quit. I resign.

My only hope is for Jesus to do it through me with the power of His Spirit. It is time to fully surrender the reigns of my life to my Savior. It is time to submit myself fully to His control and influence. I will never honor Jesus with my efforts. I need His power to live, to serve, to love, to preach, to write, to live in holiness, and to persevere. I quit. I quit on myself. There is nothing good in me apart from Jesus. Today, freely "I Surrender All." "I Have Decided To Follow Jesus." Today "I Saw The Light." Today I choose to "Trust and Obey."

I acknowledge I cannot live a Jesus honoring life in my own strength and efforts. I confess my weakness. I confess my weak resolve. I confess my sinfulness. Jesus is sufficient. He is what I need.

Dear Self, 

I offer my resignation today effective IMMEDIATELY. I willfully surrender all rights to my life over to the ownership of Jesus Christ. From this point own He is my boss. He calls the shots. He directs my path. He charts my course. He navigates my journey. He fuels my fire. He empowers my service. He gets all the glory. 

Sincerely, 

Matt Edwards
09-19-16
Runaway Bay, TX