Helpless, A Tender Kiss, I Love You, Till Death Do Us Part

The doctor's face looked grim when he walked into the ER examination room late last night dressed in green surgical scrubs. None of us wanted to hear the news he reported. The cancer has not gone away.  The medical treatments to date have not produced the desired result. His report felt like a punch to the gut. I sat there, as a pastor, with a husband and his wife stunned and saddened by the news.

I really had no words of comfort. I have never felt anymore helpless as a pastor than in that moment. They did not need a scripture, a sermon, or some trite thought. They need real hope and a miracle. I was and still am powerless to provide either. God, on the other hand, can do both in larger ways than we can imagine.

After the doctor walked out of the room the husband got up next to his ailing wife and compassionately said, "I love you." With that he bent over and gave her a tender kiss on the lips followed by another one. I sat there silently moved by the whole scene. The phrase, repeatedly spoken in many marriage vows, really hit  home in that moment, "Till death do us part."

I returned home near midnight. When I climbed into bed Brenda had already gone to sleep. I reached out my hand just to touch her. I listened to her breathing thanking God for the gift she has been to my life for the past 23 years. The simple act of touching my wife next to me in bed is a pleasure many would do anything to experience just once more. Their spouses have entered the realm of eternity. There are no longer good morning or good night kisses. They will never again hold hands while strolling down the sidewalk. They will not get to enjoy a leisurely eaten simple meal with some table talk. The only "I love you," spoken now happens in dreams.

In one of their worst moments after decades of marriage that husband ministered to his wife with the words, "I love you," and a tender kiss. I heard in that simple statement, " I will be here to the end come good or bad. I am not giving up on you. I love you just as much today as I did when we stood at the altar on our wedding day. I will treasure every moment I have with you to the very end."

I knew nothing else to do but pray. We prayed but the words sounded hollow. What that family needed I could not give them. I could not comfort them in their sorrow. I could not manufacture hope for a better medical report. I could not give them reassurance that everything would be okay. Those were all things only God can give them.

I sat there afterward, feeling helpless to aid those two I have grown to love over the past few years. My simple child-like prayer lately has repeatedly been, "Lord help them." I will long remember last night and that helpless feeling, that affectionate, "I love you," and that tender kiss.