The Gift of My Boys

This is the last day of Christmas break for my boys. I certainly took advantage of it. We enjoyed breakfast and lunch together. We went to the weight room to get our work out in and then took a thirty minute run/walk in the sub-freezing temperatures.

Over lunch we laughed and laughed. They were cracking me up. It was one of those snapshots you capture with your heart.

Now we are at home getting ready for the national championship game. There is a fire in the fireplace warming the living room. The fragrant aroma of dinner is wafting from the kitchen. It has been a good day. No it has been a great day.

Today I put work on the back burner. I chose my boys over studying, reading, writing, administration, and a host of other things needing to be done. I want to take every moment I can to treasure these four boys together. We are traveling down the painful path of a child making the transition from high school student to college student. While Brenda and I are proud we know the reality about to hit us. We have seen our friends go through it and few did so without tears. We have already shed a few of our own. Moments like today will soon be fewer and farer in between.

Taylor is my first born. To this day I remember the day he was born on July 28, 1995. It felt awkward holding him for the first time. My heart swelled with pride when the doctor measured Taylor's hands and feet and then said, "Big paws means a big dog." He is taller than me now, though that is not saying much. He just broke his all time personal record on the bench press today. Much more than I ever did in high school. He has a great work ethic. He is focused and disciplined. He has always been goal oriented. Most importantly he still loves Jesus. He is not perfect no more than I am. He is my son and I so grateful God chose me to be his day.

I am not saying I love him more than the rest of the boys. I did enjoy him first. I did not have to share my time with him in the beginning. When he was a tike I pulled him in a wagon around the church parking lot where I served as pastor. We played at the park. I taught him to throw, catch, shoot, and hit a ball. He climbed up in my bed on a Saturday morning after a youth camp I had just preached and he attended with me. Little did I know he was in the back listening to those gospel messages. I got a front row seat when the trusted Christ as his Savior. I remember the night before Tanner was born. He laid in my arms and I asked God how I could ever love another child as much as I loved him.

God helped me to love Tanner every bit as much. Tanner is our funny child. He cracks us up. He is also what we have called our tank. We were so proud when he not only made varsity football this year but started all season. He is also our golfer. I am just now learning how social Tanner is. He loves people. He is an extrovert. He likes to be the life of the party. He and Taylor just ran an owl of our garage. Tanner walks back in and says, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. 1...2...3." This kids knows how to make people laugh.  He is also a fierce competitor. He hates losing video games and I saw the frustration in his eyes during a football season where they lost many games.

Tucker is a competitor also and a leader. He hates to lose anything. Video games. Football. Basketball. He also seems to be very social. I have seen him be very tough and also be very tender toward people others overlooked or rejected. That part of his personality makes more proud of him than anything he has ever done athletically.

Turner is probably our most tender hearted kid. He cares about the feelings of others. He has a heart for God and during our prayer meetings on Sunday nights he always wants to pray with me. His prayers move me and inspire me. He is serious about wanting to serve God. He loves basketball and also loves to laugh. He still climbs up in my lap at least once a day to watch television with me. When Brenda went out of town recently he was quick to ask if he could sleep with me. I have nicknamed him my velcro because he is always stuck on me. I love it.

We have moved a lot. They have all made and had to say goodbye to friends over and over again. They has taken it all in stride. There were many tears. Yet they never resented my following Jesus' call on my life. Now Taylor is seeking God's call on his life on where he will attend college. The others seek God for their futures.

With half of his senior year over I took the day to enjoy time with all my boys. I would not trade anything for the time we shared together doing simple things. There will be more days in the office. There are only a few more days like we had today. I want to make the most of them. I can't always take time away from the office but I did today and I have no regrets.

I am also aware I have a tenth grade son right behind Taylor, an eight grade son behind Tanner, and a fifth grade son behind Tucker. They are all growing up so fast. I have to redeem the time with them and make the most of it while I can. Soon they will be grown. They fall in love and get married. We will see them less often. We will have to share them with in laws during the holidays. Right now I have this precious gift of my boys and I do not want to squander it.

When God gave me children something changed. I have given them my life. I could have worked more hours but I chose long ago not to sacrifice my wife or kids on the altar of ministry. I have forsaken hobbies like hunting, fishing, and golf to give them my attention and my time. I have prayed with them and done what I could to help them achieve their dreams. Let me say that again. I have prayed with them and done what I could to help them achieve THEIR DREAMS. Not my dreams for them. I have not sought to live my life through them.

We work out together because they have dreams. Taylor has asked me to push him, to stretch him, and we have sweat together. We started doing this when he was in elementary school. It started with the desire to keep the boys active during the summer. It evolved this past year to the "Iron Panther" workouts with up to two dozen of my boys and their friends working. We ended those workouts with devotions and prayer. Over the years those have been great boding times with the boys. They used to be little boys working out. Now Taylor and Tanner are stronger than me.

When my boys have chosen to walk away from a sport I have supported them. None of them wanted to play baseball in school and I have supported that decision. When they have chosen to be good at other sports I have supported them. I encourage them to seek God for the path He has for them.

So I sit here on this frigid January night reflecting on the gift of my boys. Turner just ran through the living room shouting, "Fire! Fire!" as he sat on the hearth. I love being a daddy. I did not grow up with one and I have made it my ambition to make sure my boys to do not have to know that heartache.

Now the two youngest are in bed and it is just Taylor, Tanner, and me watching the last quarter of the football game. Another snapshot with the heart. Another treasured memory to file away for later years when they are gone.

One day these boys will all be gone. Only Turner still sits in my lap. When they are all gone I will not look back and wish I had spent more time in the office. I will not wish I had locked myself away to write another book. There is still time to do those things. I write when I can like now. I study in the wee hours of the morning at the house when I need to. My work gets done. But on this day, I thank God for the gift of my boys. They each are a blessing. They have different temperaments, talents, and personalities. They reward me. They are my gifts from God. They are my reward. My quiver is full.