Today I sat at my desk with my head buried in my hands in tears crying out to God. I felt the pain in my soul deeply. I wept and cried out to God in anguish. My heart is broken. He alone knows the sorrows and burdens I carry. He alone can bring healing and relief.
Mine is a broken heart. I am not the first to pray in tears. "You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in your bottle, are they not in your book." [Ps 56:8] God notices the tears of His followers. He is aware of every single drop. We are also reminded in [Ps 30:5] "His anger is but for a moment, His favor for a lifetime; weeping may last for a night but a shout of joy comes in the morning."
My soul is heavy. Pained, burdened, sorrowed, and filled with weeping. 2012 has felt like one long year of weeping. Even now I fight them back. It has been one of the hardest years of my life personally. I feel alone, very alone. Mine is a private mental prison where I have marked time. I do believe joy will come in the morning. That might mean tomorrow and that might mean as I step over into eternity. Either way God will not forsake me or abandon me on this pilgrim path. If the shout of joy does not come until Heaven the nights of weeping will come to an end.
I have laid the sources of my sorrows at His feet and found comfort in His word. By faith I declare, "Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me: O Lord, be my helper. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent, O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever. [Ps 30:10-12]
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