Surrendering a Dream

He had tears in his eyes when he walked through the door. He came unexpectedly, a teenage boy with a lot on his mind and heart. He needed to talk so we walked to the front of the church and sat on the steps of the stage. He could barely get the words out. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he tried to manage the words.

I had talked to him earlier in the week. This young man loves God and has been a strong witness for Christ on his campus and teams. In recent days I had noticed something different about him. His countenance seemed different. I pulled him aside one day to ask him about it. After some discussion it finally came out. He did not want to surrender his dream to God for fear God would take it away from him.

My challenge to the young man earlier in the week had been to fall on his face before God and repent and surrender all to Him. I reminded this troubled teen that his dream would not come true without God's help in the first place. I know he mulled this over for some time.

When he walked through that church door Saturday night he told me he had come looking for me because he needed to talk. I saw the brokenness that only God can bring all over this young man. As he cried he finally managed to blurt out, "I repented. I gave God my dream and surrendered everything." Getting those words out released a torrent of tears in this guy.

We talked for a bit and then I told him all the talking in the world would not be better than our praying together. The room felt hot as the programmable thermostat would not kick on to cool the room off for the morning worship service for hours. He sweat right through his shirt and so did I. Despite sweat dripping from our faces we knelt at the altar and I prayed a prayer of blessing for that teen.

When our prayer time ended we got up and hugged. I felt so proud of him for even the willingness to surrender his dream. I felt honored to be this young man's pastor. I have witnessed him leading his teams in prayer and devotions before games. I have heard him speak in public. I am proud to be his pastor and friend. I am more proud to be his father.

Yes, that young man that walked in the back of the church turned out to be one of my sons. It does not matter which one. He had a real encounter with God. He and I both have big dreams. I know what it is like to have to surrender a dream. I had to do that at FBC Paradise and FBC Seminole. It is painful to surrender your dreams and give God complete control. It can be a scary proposition if you do not know down deep God can be trusted.

I reminded my son of the story of Abraham and the test God gave him to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22. In the end God did not want Isaac. He wanted all of Abraham's love and loyalty. I think that is what God is doing in my son. I know that is what God did in me when he called us to leave Seminole. To this day many people still think I left because something bad happened and I needed to leave or had to leave. Nothing could be further from the truth. That church compensated us well. They blessed us continually. A remnant in that church hungered for God's word. All of it. Those people loved us and accepted us. We had favor in the community. We still have close contacts with many people out there. If you have kept up with these blogs you know God blessed us with a house. We considered that house our miracle house. God called me to lay all of that down to follow Him to start a church. I know what God told me to do even though I did not understand it then and I do not understand it now.

I counted the cost before we actually left Seminole but it has proven to be more costly than I first considered. I have wept countless tears for the people we had to leave behind. I do not understand. When I think of them even writing this I am moved to tears again. It has been a year since we left. The pain of not getting to minister to those people and fellowship with them pains my heart still. They have a new pastor and I have a new flock but a part of my heart will always remain in Seminole just like a part of my heart remains at FBC Paradise.

I had to surrender my dream, especially the dream of owning our own home again. Though it has been painful I know you can't go back. I can only follow God in faith and trust Him to make my paths straight. True, I had to surrender a grand dream in Seminole. In recent days God has been planting a grander dream in my heart for Faith Community Church.

It is almost comical. I spent Saturday night sweeping cob webs out of our drafty warehouse make shift sanctuary. It gets so hot in there that people say I sweat through my shirt and pants while preaching. The floors are bare concrete. The walls are made of metal panels. There are gaps where dust blows in through two bay doors. There are spiders and bugs galore. I contrast that with churches I have served in the past with beautiful sanctuaries, stained glass, baptismals, and luxurious offices. We baptize in a hot tub or swimming pool depending on the weather.

Yes, I too had to surrender a dream. I am still surrendering the dream of home ownership in the near future. What I know is that I am as fully surrendered and consecrated to God as I have ever been. He has given me a quiet contentment in where I am. I no longer stand to preach before hundreds. We have not had over a hundred in attendance but two or three times. What I do have is the peace of God that I am doing exactly what he called me to do even if everyone does not understand. I am also watching God build a church right before my eyes.

God called me to surrender one dream so He could give me a bigger dream. I sit here humbled by the new dream. His plans are best even though they are not easy and often have a great price tag. In recent days I have dreamed about Seminole and the people I love there. I miss them terribly but I know I cannot go back. I am laboring toward a new dream.

Yesterday we baptized 11 in a swimming pool! I am not sure that I have ever baptized that many on one day before. One teenaged girl who trusted Christ for salvation back at youth camp came even though she had played in a volleyball tournament until 3:00 a.m. She would not be deterred from holding back. A father and his two sons were baptized. A brother along with his two younger sisters were baptized. Two young men followed in baptism after years of their mother's praying. One little boy followed in baptism bringing to mind how his older brother had been saved first. Next came their dad followed by their mom and yesterday we celebrated the new birth of baby brother. In that pool baptizing one after another, hearing the applause and cheers of the people despite the 103 temperatures, made sacrificing the other dream worth it.

I looked around yesterday morning in our sweltering building and thanked God for the swelling attendance. We have had our best attendance since back in January during the summer months in a warehouse. I am talking about people who had not been involved in church a year ago. I made eye contact with several men who have been saved. I see people I am growing to love more and more each week. This is home.

God required me to give up one dream before He entrusted me with a new dream. He is faithful. I can trust Him with not only my dreams but also with my life, my family, and my future. So can you. I am thankful this is a lesson my son is learning as well. We can always trust God with our dreams and our lives.