Guilty

In second grade Mrs. Brumble gave us a test on the seven continents. I did not study. I could only come up with two out of the seven. In my desk sat a paper with all the answers. Slyly I reached down to pull that paper into view. As I worked on the remainder of the test I did not see Mrs. Brumble coming. She caught me cheating. I made a zero on that rest. She found me guilty and I had no excuses. She caught me red handed.

Since that day I have been guilty of many things. I have lied to keep from getting into trouble. I once stole a track shirt. God has a sense of humor because I lost it and never got to wear it after I took it. When in grade school I used to sneak into people's garages and steal their empty coke bottles. You could recycle them for money and that tis how I often paid my way to go skating on the weekends.

I used profane language as early as third grade. I heard others use it and thought nothing of it until an uncle reprimanded me. I thought it strange that he would scold me when much of the foul language I learned came out of his mouth.

I have always had a bad temper. My grade school teachers could always tell if my team won or lost on the playground by my countenance when we came in from P.E. I am still to this day overly competitive. I HATE losing. I want to win. Whether it be board games, basketball, chicken foot, or any other competition, I want to win. At times this attitude has translated to winning at all cost.

I nearly lost my ministry once on a mission trip over a game of ultimate frisbee. Things got way too competitive that night between me and a brother in Christ. I am shamed to say we stood face to face and had to be pulled apart. Since that day I do not allow myself to participate in competitions except with my boys and even then it is usually only on vacations.

I could list other sins and failures. I am sure many would love to read all the sordid details of a flawed life like mine. Many times I have questioned why God would choose me to preach.

I am guilty. The evidence is stacked against me from way back. Satan as plenty to convict me. I make no excuses. I will be the first to admit I have sinned. It did not go away when Jesus saved me. I continued to sin.

I still lost my temper. I still want to win at all costs. I've continued to struggle with impatience with people and at times u have been nforgiving. I've treated family and friends harshly. I often push away those who try to love me. GUILTY! GUILTY! On all accounts guilty.

I did not read the Bible long this morning before one verse struck my heart like an archer's arrow. I opened to Romans 8 and read, Therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [Ro 8:1]

Let that truth sink in deep. Therefore NOW. At this very moment, for all my past sin God has declared me not guilty. He already knows all my future failures. In Christ Jesus I will be declared not guilty. At this very moment my guilt is gone. Though guilty God does not condemn me. Though imperfect God is in the process of perfecting me. Though flawed to the core God is faithful to cleanse my sin and take away my guilt.

Horatio Spafford wrote it well in the third verse of his song, It Is Well With My Soul. My sin, O the bliss of this glorious thought, My sin not in part but the whole, Is nailed to His cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Now we stand forgiven. I do not have to live out my days in the shame and remorse of failures. I can sing along with John Newton, Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I am found, was blind but now I see.

Paul writes there is NO CONDEMNATION. That means there is no declaration of guilt, no judgment, and no penalty for our transgressions. NO. NONE. NOT ANY. NOT AT ALL. If I am in Christ Jesus, wholly learning on Him alone for my salvation, then I am not condemned.

I deserve to be. So do you. Yet the our original Avenger paid our sin debt and today we are no longer condemned. Our sin, not just some of it, but all of it was nailed to the cross of Christ. Yes Mr. Stafford, PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE THE LORD O OUR SOULS!

I sit here stunned as I mediate on this truth. Though guilty I am not condemned. Through Jesus my guilt is gone. He has cast my sin as far as the east is from the west. [Ps 103:12] That is good news for a guilty sinner like me. I am flawed, far from perfect, and unworthy to be a child of God. Yet, He loves me. He pardoned and continues to pardon me. He paid my ransom. He rescued me when I could not do one thing to rescue myself. All I can do in return is love Him and serve Him, which I gladly do. It will never be enough to repay. I am not trying to repay. I am  simply expressing my gratitude though guilty I am not condemned.