Friday, December 31, 2010

Cultivating Relationships

I just returned from lunch Brenda and I shared with a couple from our church. We have all been meaning to get together but have not done so in over a year. We chuckled about how busy we all are but the conversation turned deeper. We discussed at length our lifestyles and how we do not have or make time to cultivate relationships.

Brenda and I were discussing this very issue on a late night trip home from Lubbock recently. Seminole is a busy place like most of other places in this nation. People are always on the go. There are times we fight as a family just to enjoy eating breakfast or dinner together. Too often we are off to another event or ball game and eat when we can or grab something on the go.

How do you cultivate relationships with people who are living at the same insane pace? Here is my suggestion. We have to find time to get together doing things we have in common. Take for instance ball games. We have used these times to eat with people from our church before or after the games. These are great opportunities to cultivate relationships. We all eat lunch. I know some have more flexible schedules than others but lunches are great times to cultivate relationships.

We can also schedule lunches with people after church Sunday morning or evening. I prefer these settings where people sit back and relax. I prefer gathering in the living room and talking as well as laughing. Have you ever noticed how houses were built many years ago? Many older houses have big front porches. Families would gather on the front porch and often neighbors would drop by to visit on the porch. People might share a cup of coffee or a glass of tea or lemonade. You might wave as people walked by on the sidewalks or they might stop and catch up with one another.

Many newer homes have their large back porches sheltered by fenced in back yards. We do not see people walking by as they did in days gone by. There are places where people do not even know their neighbors. Add with this the emphasis on virtual relationships through facebook, texting, and email. Though we are supposed to be a more connected society the truth is we are more isolated. We spend less time cultivating relationships and our lives are the poorer for it.

When was the last time you had company over at your house that were not family? When did you last sit on a front or back porch and visit with your family or with neighbors and friends? My guess is it has been a long while.

We often sing about the church being the family of God but truth be known we do not really know one another. We seldom let our guards down and let other people in to know the inner secrets of our hearts or our private pains. We are content to relate to people on the surface level alone. Contrast that with scenes from the early church. Those believers related on intimate levels. Read [Acts 2:42-47] “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together, and breaking bread in their homes, the received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”

There are least five references in those verses that allude to those first century believers cultivating relationships with other believers. Here they are:

1. They were devoted to fellowship ( 42)

2. All who believed were together (44)

3. They had all things in common (44)

4. They attended temple together (45)

5. They broke bread in one another’s home. (46)

I think we could learn a few things from that first church. They had no modern conveniences, no fellowship hall, but they still enjoyed being with one another. I for one am making that a higher ambition for this year. I want to cultivate relationships with more people. I want to enjoy people more and to get to know them better. I hope you will join me in this pursuit. Perhaps that might mean our families getting together to enjoy one another. Let’s slow down and cultivate relationships.

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