God Sent You Here

I have never been an easy person to figure out. I know I am odd. I often refer to myself as a weird duck. There are times I love to be around people laughing, relating, and conversing. There are other times I do not want to be around anyone. I would rather be locked away in my prayer closet or in some other secluded space with a good book or nestled with my computer writing a blog or a book.

There are times when my heart is moved with compassion and tears flow easily as I minister to the sick, hurting, and the down trodden. I often feel a lump in my throat as I watch people suffer excruciatingly. There are also times when my heart is moved with righteous anger over sin, abuse, hypocrisy, and complacency in the church. I either have great days or bad days; seldom any days in the middle. I think a lot. I think constantly about life. I think about God and the scriptures and how far we have drifted from each of them.

At times I feel the tender heart of a shepherd loving his flock, nurturing, protecting, and guiding. At other times I feel like a warrior in battle standing up against all odds to fight for the cause of God. It doesn’t take me long to wear my welcome out in most places. My personality type is driven and intense. I am not easy to live with or to befriend. I am by nature untrusting and yet I crave deep relationships with people. I am perplexing to a great many people.

You cannot fit me into a nice neat category. Some people are pastors. Others are evangelist. There are still a few prophets. There are others who teach. A whole other group of persons make up the category of authors, and yet I feel a distinct call on my life to be all of the above. When I preached the Shake the City Revival here for those three weeks, I ministered in the role of prophet and evangelist more than as pastor. When I stand to feed the flock week after week I am a preacher. When I minister in the hospitals and around deathbeds I am the pastor/shepherd. Now I am ministering in my role as an author.

I have never been one to turn my head while winking at sin and hypocrisy. The longer I am in one place the more my glaring weaknesses of my life begin to show and my character flaws begin to surface. I do not make excuses for them. I trust Christ to make me a model of consistency, but honestly in this moment, I am not there. I trust Him to take me there. I do not wink at sin in my own life nor in the lives of others.

I am earnest about the word of God and living out truth before a world of unbelievers. In my job I hear more than I ever wanted to. I know things I wish I had never learned. I see things I wish I had never seen. Despite all of it, I trust God to give me His love for people. I preach hard because we live in hard times. I can see on the faces of many in the congregation Sunday after Sunday, the displeasure and the wish that I might just bounce out the same way I bounced in.

This is not to say that things are bad in Seminole. God continues to work and Brenda and I have been showered with love and blessings from this flock. God continues to save people and new people keep coming here. We continue to see more and more people added to the church through baptism and God has blessed the finances of this church.

It has not always been easy for me to fit into FBC. I have never been a person of wealth or impressed with those who are. I cannot be bought or silenced. I abhor pretense. I see a good deal of it in this church and community. I do not regard power mongering and do not mind when God calls me to upset the apple cart every now and again. I know I preach hard. I desire to preach a balanced Bible but at the core of my being I am a prophet and I preach the hard messages many other preachers shy away from. I do not enjoy preaching them. God alone knows how often I preached from a grieved and broken heart.

All of this leads me to contemplate from time to time my role of being a pastor. Too much of me is not a good thing for most churches. I know we were loved in Paradise but I am no fool either. Many were glad when we drove out of town for the last time. Though I have only been in Seminole a little over a year, after preaching the revival for these people it feels more like two years. I can say without reservation I have never preached harder in any church in my life. There have been times when I have begged God for softer messages. There have been other times when I have cringed to have to preach so hard. My role seems better suited to preach revivals or conferences where the message is proclaimed and I get to move on down the road. At my heart I am a pastor. I know this but I still am called to preach hard. This past Sunday morning was one such time. This is the Christmas season and nobody wants to hear a hard message at Christmas.

I preached on materialism and how our constant buying more for us affects us not giving more to further God’s Kingdom especially in relation to missions giving. I was convicted of how many shoes I have, shirts, ties, pants, suits, televisions and yet I find myself saying, “ I need more.” I do not need anything else. I have more than plenty. I could tell while preaching that message it was not winning me any friends.

When the service ended I watched as people nervously or awkwardly walked by me. Some avoided eye contact all together. Others shook my hand and made some small talk. I did not hear many, “Good message pastor. Great sermon preacher.” I am no stranger to this. I have experienced repeatedly at other churches, youth camps, retreats, and revivals.

On Monday I really began to question how long I will be able remain as pastor of any church. I really do love people but I really love God more. I do not preach to make eloquent messages. I preach what I sense God saying to me and I really mean we should alter our lives and live according to the principles of scripture. I cannot tell you how often in my Christian life I have felt alone at this point. This is not a job for me. Jesus is not a topic to talk about. He is my everything.

All of the above only serves as context for the main point I want to make in this writing. With all that wrestling in my head today I went to the care center to preach a message to the senior adult residents there. Wondering, even while walking the halls, how long will it be before people grow weary of me. A nurse came strolling by about that time. Like many before her she commented about hearing me preach. I do not know if she attended the service or watched it on television. What she said next came directly from God.

She said, “I know God sent you here.” With that she continued on to tend to her patients. I cannot tell you how much I needed to hear that. You see, down deep I remember all God did to uproot my wonderful life and ministry in Paradise. I recall the unpleasant pain of informing the church I was resigning. I remember too vividly the gasps of disbelief and the shock on people’s faces as the news sunk in that night. I well remember the hot tears rolling down my pudgy cheeks as I stammered through my resignation.

As tough as that night was the two weeks following were more brutal. There were endless conversations explaining how God had confirmed His call for us to leave. There were many who never accepted our coming to Seminole as the will of God. I, on the other hand, know how God used His word not only in my life but also in Brenda’s life to confirm His leading us to leave Paradise and to follow Him to Seminole.

I needed that gentle and simple reminder today that I am not here by accident. I am not even here by the will of man. God willed and purposed for me to pastor this church and stand in this pulpit and preach to this flock. God sent me here. I have often asked Him why? I do not fit in with the country club mentality or with the sense of entitlement that wealthy people have. I am who I am. I am just as comfortable wearing a tie as a pair of jeans and boots. I do not care to join every club and organization. I honestly prefer company with God than the company of men. Why would God send me here? I still do not fully know the answer to that.

All I know is that nurse, whom I do not even know her name, ministered to my heart today. I do not know the future. I only know God sent me to Seminole. I will seek to serve Him here as long as He wills.

Here is my point. You do not know the condition of the minds and hearts of the people you come into contact with on any given day. Some need a word of encouragement. The nurse only spoke those six words but they were what I needed to hear. The impact of those words equals the weight of a book. I needed to be reminded that God chose me to serve here. God willed me to live here. God purposed me to pastor here. God sent my family to Seminole. That has brought peace and comfort to my heart.

Who else needs comfort and peace? You just might be the mouthpiece of God for a troubled and tormented heart today. Look with eyes of discernment and listen with attentive ears for whom God may want you to touch and for the message God wants you to deliver. Six words can do a soul a world of good.