Christmas With a Heavy Heart

The Christmas season is in full swing. Shoppers abound. Children are out of school. Bags are being packed for family gatherings. Red and green clothing abound. Houses have been decorated and the Christmas trees put in place. The days are being counted down. Christmas specials continue to air on television. This is a festive time of year.

I am reminded that this is not a festive time for everyone though. This time of year is melancholy for many. While others are gathering with families there are many who grieve the loss of loved ones with little holiday cheer. Their homes are no longer filled with the pitter-patter of little feet or with soul mates. There are many who endure the holidays with broken and grieving hearts.

This time of year brings back painful memories of loved ones who have passed on before us. This time of year brings a twinge of sadness while others are merry and joyful. Many times over this season I have been reminded of those who lost loved ones over the last year and others who did so years before. My heart is heavy with them and I am mindful that this time of year is not easy for everyone.

It would be insensitive to not think of those persons who forge ahead with heavy hearts. Songs bring back a flood of memories of happier times and joyous times gathered around the tree. The painful reminders of loved ones are numerous. Each reminder is like the painful removal of a scab that has begun to heal. The wound is reopened and the pain increases. People who have grieved for months and some for decades who think they are making progress toward healing, find the pain is still present and the grief still crushing this time of year.

Many are forgotten this time of year. They will not receive a single Christmas card or a Christmas gift from anyone. Many will never get a phone call or have visitors stop by. While all around others keep the festive spirit alive, others will sink into the depths and darkness of depression.

As I contemplate this today, I wonder where can heavy-hearted people turn in the scripture for comfort and strength. Is there a timely word to help the grieving and heavy-laden to not only endure but to also find a sense of joy?

Holiday greetings and well wishes will not suffice. There must be a clear and compelling word from the Lord for those who endure Christmas with a heavy heart. Millions have found comfort in [Ps 23:4] “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

Several things jump out to me in this verse. First, we are reminded that death is a reality we are going to have to face at some time. It is something we need to think about, talk about, and prepare for in our own lives and in the lives of others. Death is something many people push out of their minds until they are staring it in the face. People die. The mortality rate is one hundred percent. Nobody escapes unless you count Enoch and Elijah. Death is a present reality and at times because it comes so unexpectedly we are not prepared for it. Death is a dark valley in the journey of life.

As a child I faced death multiple times without anyone ever talking me through it. I saw death in my two great grandmothers. I saw death in my father. It hit our family again when my four-year old sister drowned. None of us were prepared for that. Even as an adult as I preached my mother’s funeral and dealt with the death of my maternal grandmother nobody wanted to talk through it. We all just coped best we knew how.

The memories of loved ones need to be remembered. Why are we so afraid to talk about the deceased to those who loved them and knew them best? Death is a valley and sometime it is very deep and very wide. The path to victory on the other side does not always come easily. Talking about it can help.

We can also learn from this verse that God is with us. He does not abandon us in these difficult seasons. He is with us. He accompanies us through the grieving process. While other mourners soon forget and go back to their busy lives God does not. Every tear He sees and stores in a bottle of remembrance. He is there for the grieving and heavy hearted when the sorrow is nearly suffocating. He comforts us through tormented nights of sleeplessness. He gives strength to go about the business of living from day to day. He hears our prayers and endless lists of questions, “Why?”

The other thing I know we can take from this verse is the ministry of comfort the Lord gives to the heavy-hearted. The comfort in this verse means to console or to ease. How many times does the Lord give consolation at the point when you think you cannot endear any longer? He eases the pain just a bit day by day until grief has run its course. Does grief ever fully run its course? Do you ever stop grieving? I don’t know that we ever fully quit grieving but we might learn how to cope with it better as time goes by.

Accompanied with this blog went up a prayer for family, friends, and my own flock who deal with grief with heavy hearts this Christmas season. You are not forgotten and you are not abandoned. God is the comforter of heavy hearts.