The School of Brokenness

The school of brokenness is not a fun place to be. In this school the lessons are hard and the courses are even harder. Lessons learned in this school include, humility, breaking of pride, the systematic dismantling of independence and replacing it with dependence upon the Lord. Other lessons learned include perseverance, faith, and patience. Often these lessons are learned in solitary confinement. They are hard lessons to learn for dreamers who want to catch the vision and get about seeing the end result.

Before the Lord can trust people with big dreams He first has to develop character to match the size of the dreams He gives. This often means enrollment in the school of brokenness. I would not say I am expert in this field but I can assure you I spent more than a decade in that school and it was the hardest, most painful, and yet most rewarding experience of my life as far as what I learned.

Most of you already know my story. From the years of 1987-1991 I saw a good deal of success in youth ministry. We saw many students saved and our groups at two different churches grow. Along with the growing youth ministry was my increasing desire to be the biggest and the best ministry. Suddenly the once thriving youth group I had been in charge of fell apart right before my eyes. From 1991-2005 I saw many things fail. There was a stint in the pastoral ministry in Burke, TX. I left there looking for success as an evangelist but those were harder years in the school of brokenness but also years where my faith was forged. After nearly five years of traveling the country preaching to students and adults the Lord called me to pastor again and this time we attempted to start a church that ended up disbanding after four long years of heavy toil. By the end of all this I was at a breaking point which is exactly where God has been directing me all along.

I could not understand why no matter how hard I prayed or worked things seem to crumble right before my eyes. What I could not see back then was how the Lord was breaking me and shaping me for His greater purposes. All I could see was the pain and the confusion but God had a greater purpose in mind. Some time in the middle of my time in the school of brokenness I read a poem pastor and author Charles Stanley found and included in his book The Blessing of Brokenness by an unknown source.

“When God wants to drill a man, and thrill a man, and skill a man,

to play the noblest part – when He yearns with all of His heart,

To create so great and bold a man – that all the world shall be amazed,

Watch His methods and watch His ways,

How He ruthlessly perfects – whom He royally elects,

How He hammers him and hurts him – with might blows converts him,

Intro trial shapes of clay which only God understands,

While his tortured heart is crying out he lifts beseeching hands!

How he bends but never breaks when his good He undertakes,

How He uses whom He chooses – and with every purpose fuses him,

By every act induces him,

To try His splendor out – God knows what He is about

- author unknown

There have been many times I felt the hammer blows from God’s hands and

His purposeful bending. I have felt the molding of God’s hands shaping me into a vessel for His purpose and design. There were painful experiences and ones I thought would never end. God has His ways. Now in hindsight I can see God was building my character to match His assignment for my life. In fact, He is still doing that.

God took some of his choice servants through the school of brokenness as well. Abraham was given the assignment in [Gen 12:1-3] God worked on His character until [Gen 21:1-2] Moses got the dream in [Exodus 3:1-10] but did not see it come to pass until [Exodus 14:1-31] David got the word to be King in [I Sam 16:1-13] but he did not become king until [II Samuel 3:1] I could go on with the lives of Elijah and Paul and so forth. When God has a great assignment God also must have the character of His servants match the assignment.

Let me offer a few words of wisdom when enduring the school of brokenness. First, learn your lessons quickly. You cannot progress until you learn what the Lord wants to teach you. It took me over a decade to learn some lessons and I kept going through the same things over and over again until I finally submitted

Next, learn to yield and submit to the painful blows. They may feel like blows from a hammer but God has a Sovereign design. He can be trusted. It will hurt and not feel like love now, but if you stay the course you will see what God was doing the whole time.

Third, do not resist the work of God in you. This will only prolong your time in the school of brokenness. Do not harden your life and heart but remain moldable and adaptable to the pressure He puts on your life. It is good pain He inflicts.

Lastly, do not try to hurry in the process in your impatience. God has a predetermined number of days it will take to prepare you for your destiny. Hang in there and gut it out until He graduates and whatever you do, do not take matters into your own hands for you will only make it worse.

There is much to learn in the school in brokenness. If you learn your lessons well and do not drop out, prepared yourself to be used in some profound ways.