Crucifying the Flesh

I have an enemy. It is not someone other than my very own self. I am my biggest problem. Over and over again I trip myself up by not seeking God due to lack of interest or lack of discipline. I am the one who looks away from Jesus and onto the crashing waves causing my faith to crater. I am the one who wants to sit on the throne of my heart and life. I am the one who gets self-absorbed with me. I am my biggest problem.

I am only now truly becoming aware how powerful the flesh is and how it keeps me from doing the things that God wants me to do. The flesh is my carnal nature that fights and opposes the work of God in me relentlessly. Don’t rush over that last statement. Relentlessly. The flesh never rests and stops cooperating and collaborating with the Devil to bring me down day after day and hour after hour. There is no taming the flesh nature. It will not be reasoned with. There are no compromises. The flesh will not abide by any truces. My flesh will never be satisfied with anything less than complete domination of my mind, will, and actions. Therefore there is only one option left if I really want to get closer to Christ, the flesh has to go. The flesh and the Spirit of God will never peacefully coexist. They will always strive against one another. [Gal 5:17] There is only one hope.

Paul put it like this in [Gal 2:20], “ I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” None of us will make progress with Christ unless we get hold of this truth. The flesh must be crucified, killed, annihilated, and forever done away with. Only Christ can do this in each of us. Our flesh is too strong and too cunning to willfully go to the cross without a life and death struggle. I have underestimated this foe for far too long.

My flesh craves defiance, rebellion, sin, independence, and fleeting pleasure. Day in and day out my flesh wages war. It waged war this morning in my prayer time. I craved sleep more than I craved time alone with God. I got up and prayed but it was lack luster. I recognized the problem and pleaded with God to crucify the flesh so I would once again desire the intimate fellowship with Him I have enjoyed in days gone by. This foe will not go quietly.

How few know the liberty of living with crucified flesh and liberty in Christ. We try hard but we also fail hard. The flesh will never be overcome by modern methods and wishful thinking. The flesh will only be conquered when it is crucified and that experience is not pleasant. Paul experienced it but Paul also suffered more than any of us can imagine.

Putting self to death is unnatural. We live to make much out of self. We value our opinions and wishes. We over inflate our own egos and like making much of us. The cross bids all that come and die. When the flesh is truly crucified we value Christ and His wishes. We live to make much out of Him and like John the Baptist we take on the attitude, “He must increase and I must decrease.” [Jn 3:30]

So today I choose the death march to execute this flesh whom has tripped me up over and over again enticing me to walk away from Jesus toward the sewage of sin. How many times have I dragged myself out of the muck and mire in shame and condemnation from Satan? I am pleading with Christ to nail every nail in this flesh nature so I desire Him more than I desire my next breath. I choose death so that in Christ I might find life, a life more abundant. [Jn 10:10] I want every square inch of this flesh to know the prickly splinters of the cross piercing every wicked desire, every lazy motivation, every outburst of anger, every impatient thought, and every thoughtless word. Only by faith can I trust Christ to leave no stone unturned in putting me to death so that He alone can live in and through me.

Maybe this sounds a bit morbid to some. I don’t care. When you are as desperate to be Christ-like as I am in these days you come to the realization that trying harder will not get the job done. For the first time it is really sinking in how much I need Christ to make me more like Him. I cannot do it on my own. Self discipline, a regimented life, goals and aspirations, as well as dogged determination will not get the job done. Crucifixion is the need of the hour and that will only come by faith and prayer.

I no longer want to sit in the driver’s seat of my life. I want Christ to rule over every crevice and corner of my soul. I yearn to be set free from this body of death. I hate this prison of flesh that keeps me from connecting with my Savior in deeper and deeper ways. I want to enjoy Him through deeper experiences than I ever have before. To have such longings in my soul will prove to be costly. It will cost me self. Despite the pain and the resistance that will surely ensue I want the cross for better or worse. Lord, please lead me on the death march to the cross. Please overcome my resistance and nail the last nail deep in. I ask you to hold my flesh to the cross until with gasps and groans it breathes it last breath and slumps into lifelessness. I ask you to forever remove flesh from the throne of my life. I ask you to take your rightful seat and take the remains of this life and use me for your purposes. I ask you to live your life through this body and this mind. I want to think your thoughts, love with your love, and I want to live humbly surrendered to you not just for a few hours, a day, or several weeks. I want live crucified for the rest of the days of my life. Lord, lead me to the cross. It is there through death I know I will find your life and it is your life I crave with all my being. Lead me to the cross and crucify this flesh.