Why is it that I feel so guilty for needing rest? Is it because of my driven nature and the fact I always to want to do more for God or is it that I am enslaved to the opinions of people. I don’t think I’m enslaved to the opinions of people. I have never been one to hold my finger to the prevailing winds of people’s opinions to see which they were blowing so I can determine my course based on the path of least resistance.
Yet there is this nagging thing in me that I do not want to be perceived as lazy. In addition to this I love the call of God on my life and find my work enjoyable for the most part. I love leading, preaching, casting vision, teaching, and cultivating relationships with people. I love praying, writing, pondering, and reading. What a great job I have.
Despite all of this I hit a wall yesterday. Let me back up a little. One week ago today Jase and I left after church last Wednesday night to drive to Ruidoso, NM for a two day prayer and staff retreat. We did not get there until 1:00 a.m. and I did some reading before going to bed. Yes, I slept in the car part of the way as Jase drove. So I was refreshed enough to read for another hour. It was 2:00 a.m. before I fell into a deep sleep. I was up early the next morning seeking the heart of God. During the late afternoon I discovered a book on an end table near a sofa that caught my attention. I decided to try to read it before we left at lunch the next day.
This meant I stayed up late again reading and woke up at 4:00 a.m. to push myself to finish the book. I did so around 7:00 a.m. and then it was off to more prayer and seeking God. I drifted in and out of sleep while Jase drove home. This is the curse for any staff member I work with. They drive most of the time and I fall asleep. I kept feeling guilty and tried to fight it. We arrived back in Seminole around 6:00 p.m. The family was glad to see me, which meant a late night.
Saturday was relaxing for the most part but Sunday was different. Once I arrived at the church during the Sunday School hour I did not leave until a meeting after church that night. During that time I preached a passionate message that morning, ministered to traveler who needed some benevolent assistance, attended a meeting to discuss temporary solutions to deal with out overcrowding problem in Sunday morning worship, spent the afternoon finalizing my message for “Vision Night”, preached and cast vision with everything I had in me, and attended a deacon’s meeting. After church I just wanted to go home and sit in my chair and not have to think.
I was early the next morning in prayer and then had a late night traveling to watch Taylor play basketball. Tuesday morning we started the second semester of Men’s Fraternity at 6:00 a.m., which meant dragging my weary body out of bed. On that same day I went and preached at the Care Center nursing facility at mid morning and had a lunch appointment with our Senior Adults after that. The whole day I could barely keep my eyes open. I would fall asleep trying to pray or write something. I therefore, knew reading was out of the question.
Marci kept telling me I needed to go home to rest and that resting is biblical. The beloved twenty-third Psalm reminds us of this truth. “He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; he guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” [Ps 23:2-3] Even Jesus rested, “And there arose a fierce gale of wind and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern asleep on the cushion, and they awoke Him….” [Mark 4:37-38a]
If Jesus got tired and needed sleep from time to time why did I find it so hard to heed Marci’s counsel for me to go home and get some rest? I recall telling her that I do not want to be considered a slacker. It was ridiculous though. I was so tired and my mind felt like mush so much I was not accomplishing anything. My body was craving sleep and rest to recharge but my pride would not allow me that blessing. Finally listening to Marci and Brenda who called to back up Marci I left the office early yesterday and went home. At first I could not rest but took care of some things around the house. Brenda took Tanner and Tucker to basketball and I stayed home to cook dinner. After eating and getting the boys off to bed Brenda and I talked some and then I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. It is like a miracle transformation. I fell into a deep sleep and slept soundly through the night. I got the much needed rest my body was so craving.
I awoke early again this morning but feel energized and ready for the day. I was able to go to the Fitness Center, have my quiet time, cook breakfast, and put up some laundry all before coming into the office today.
If rest doesn’t do anything else it reminds us that we are not God and our bodies cannot handle the stress of working and pushing ourselves more into exhaustion anymore than an engine can handle having the RPMS red lined before it breaks down. God designed us to need rest. [Gen2:2] reminds us after the seventh day God rested from all His work. Was He tired? No! We learn in [Is 40:8] that God never becomes weary or tired. So why did He rest after the seventh day of Creation? To set the example for us. We need it. We must be replenished physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
We are a tired people. Some fall asleep at the wheel while driving. Others fall asleep at their computers or during their morning devotions. I cannot tell you the number of times I have seen people fall asleep in church. I actually saw one person hit their head on the pew in front of them when their face slipped out from being propped up by their hands. I have heard people fall asleep in corporate prayer meetings and I have spent more prayer meetings than I care to count fighting off sleep myself. All of this goes to show that it may not be a spiritual lack of interest more than people just being tired. I am releasing you to rest.
Rest is a blessing from God. Like anything you can take the concept of rest and go too far with it. That kind of thinking turns into laziness. God is not a God of laziness. Rest is to remind us that we still need God and it causes us to slow down and helps to eliminate stress. Rest is a good thing. Many people take power naps after lunch. Whole societies do this. There is nothing sinful about needing rest from time to time.
Lord, I confess that I needed rest and still do today and all the days of my life. Forgive me for my pride getting in the way. Forgive me for abusing my body by neglecting the very rest it needs. Thank you for the refreshment you brought to my mind, body, and spirit by simply resting night. Forgive me for taking rest for granted. I ask you to help me learn this lesson well.
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