Resolve

My resolve is weak to preach, to surrender, to go, and to stay,
My heart and faith are broken, there remains little desire to pray,
My resolve to get back up after the pummeling again to my knees,
When the trials mounted and you did not answer my desperate pleas,
My resolve to stand firm against the schemes of the wily evil one,
Wanes each day a little more as pain in wave after wave still comes,
My resolve is weak to preach, to surrender, to go, and to stay,
When I wonder what happened to your servant along the way,
My resolve is weak to stand and continue to fight the good fight,
When the tears of brokenness blind the joy in weeping for a night,
My resolve to stay is growing thinner - weaker by the day the hour,
When I see no fresh outpouring and no evidence of Holy Ghost power,
My way is blocked and my back is pressed hard against this wall,
You have not responded to my pleas or fervently desperate calls,
My resolve is failing as I run this race marked with suffering and pain,
When I stagger to my feet after one trial only to be knocked down again,
My resolve to endure is ebbing like the white foam at the water's edge,
I feel trapped - there is no way out of these trials as I stand on this ledge,
No way out that is unless you come like you have so many times before,
To work wonders, to lift burdens, to work miracles of provision galore,
You are my resolve and strength to preach, to pray, to go and to stay,
You can meet me now to remove these burdens so heavy on me weigh.


I wrote this poem in response to a difficult season in my life. I just learned that someone I love dearly, have brought close into my life for the past fourteen years, and have given my time and heart to posted on social media several times recently that they hate me. This brokenness in my heart has left me emotionally numb. In addition my family is facing several additional trials and prayer's for God's help have gone unheeded thus far.

I need and am pleading with God for healing and to strengthen my resolve. I cannot quit. I cannot give up. I cannot throw in the towel. I also cannot endure without Him coming to my rescue. He will come to my rescue.