Leaving the Altar in Tears

It is my sincere desire to preach for decisions. Whether that be preaching an evangelistic message and desiring to see souls saved or seeing people at the altar in repentance of sin, I want to see God move. When I preach my heart out I trust God to move souls to respond. When people do not respond it eats away at me.

I left the altar about as broken this past week as I have in a long time. I preached a message about revival, prayer, repentance, and the mercy of God to respond to broken hearted, sorrowful, and repentant people. The challenge was that the people of God would be as responsive to God's word as the pagan people of Nineveh were to Jonah's message.

I concluded the message asking people to ask God for His heart about our nation and to ask God to break our hearts with the things that break His heart. Then I went to the altar and fell to my knees praying. My prayers were interrupted by the sound of laughter as I had already told people they could leave when they wanted. We went from a solemn message to casual conversational chatter in less than five minutes. My heart sunk like an anvil in a swimming pool.

Tear filled my eyes as I left the altar. I was in no mood to talk and made my way to my office trying to avoid eye contact with people. There I sat in stunned silence wondering why the people did not respond. The gnawing in my soul is hard to live with. When the altars are not jammed with people it bothers me. When people are not repentant, the lost are not saved, the people of God do not pray, and when the listeners do not adjust their lives with the truth of God's word it does not sit well with me.

Brenda has often said that when I preach my whole body and being are caught up in the message. I often feel the message deeply while delivering it. Maybe that is why it hurts so badly when it seems that the people do not listen nor respond. The prophet Jeremiah knew this feeling. The nation never responded to his prophetic utterances.

Prophets are often maligned, rejected, and persecuted. I wonder if they ever left the altar or from a preaching assignment in tears broken that the people did not respond. I would rather leave the altar broken and in tears than to leave a service dry-eyed and hard hearted because I do not care.