How easy it is to take people for granted. From where I write this I can hear Brenda's gentle breathing as she enjoys these last few moments of slumber. She has been a part of my life for the past twenty-five years. Three of those we dated off and on and we have been married for the rest.
I have lunch with her most everyday. She is my best friend. I unload my burdens to her, share my dreams with her, and have followed and pursued God with her by my side. She has weathered the storms in my life like the death of my mom in 1998 and the death of numerous ministry dreams. She has prayed for me diligently while I stood to expound God's word. At times I have been awakened in the middle of the night with her hand resting on me as she prayed for me to get a clear word from God to preach.
We still laugh together. We still enjoy going on dates together. We still chase the kids together. We quietly grieve and rejoice that Taylor is about to graduate this year and pray with him for where God would have him go to college.
I write all this because I was afforded a rare opportunity yesterday to sit with a man who recently lost his wife of almost 63 years. 63 years! We talked about how they met and where life had taken them. He loved his wife and devoted himself to her care when her health began to fail. While we talked his continued love for her and grief were evident.
I let that sink in. His life has changed. The things I take for granted he does not. I wake up with a warm body next to me. I came home from traveling to a hot meal last night. Brenda was doing my laundry when I came home. When I opened the door she greeted me last night with these words, "Hello Daddy." Today we will have lunch together at one of our local favorites. Tonight she will sit dutifully on the front row for our midweek Bible study Lord willing. We will most likely talk numerous times on the phone before the day ends. I can smell the dinner she already has cooking in the crock pot for tonight.
These are blessings my friend no longer gets to enjoy and my heart grieves and aches for him. While many people grieve the death of people for a few hours or days and then move on with everyday life, the spouse or parent who lost the loved one never get over the grieving. A song, a movie, a picture, or a face in the crowd can jolt hundreds of memories of a lost loved one reopening the grief wound. They may learn to cope but they never forget. Life is never the same. NEVER! Many have to learn to live with a hole in their heart. Days are spent alone. The phone does not ring as often. Meals are now eaten alone. Life is different.
We ended our visit yesterday with prayer. We had a tender moment as I asked God to comfort and strengthen this brother. He is a hero to me. He inspires me to want to be a better husband and a better man. He is the best example of a man who honored his wedding vows "to love and to cherish in sickness and in health to death do us part" I have ever known. Many more prayers will be lifted up on his behalf over the days ahead.
Today I will not take my wife for granted or my children. I will hold her hand. I will look deep into her eyes. I will listen to her intently. I will make mental notes of every feature of her face. I will rejoice in the wife of my youth and now my middle age. I will rejoice in the Lord who gave her to me. I will not take her for granted. I will enjoy driving the kids to school and listening to them. I will hug each of them as if for the first time. I will not take them for granted.
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