Plodding Ahead

Brenda and I just returned from lunch. I had her laughing when I told her I was just one book away from a best seller. She cracked up. I can assure you I do not feel like a best selling author today. I do not feel like a successful pastor either. Today I feel like a plodder.

Much of my life at the moment looks like plodding. I plod ahead in my preaching through Psalms on Sunday morning and I Corinthians on Wednesday nights. I plod ahead with these blogs and go to bed shamed that I did not work on the many book projects I have going. I plod ahead in visiting the sick in the hospitals. I plod ahead with the work in building the hospital in Honduras. I am plodding ahead in the book Isaiah in my quiet times currently. I am plodding ahead through about six different books in my personal reading progressing through them slowly.

I cannot report a great deal of excitement in my life right now. There is the simple day- to-day plodding ahead with responsibilities. I am not saying plodding is a bad thing. I admire those who have learned the art of plodding. Much has been accomplished over the years from those who learned to plod ahead even when they did not feel like it.

Far too many times in my life I have gotten excited about things only to watch the new fade away into boredom and monotony. I got excited about golf for a season years ago but have not played one time since moving to Seminole. I used to enjoy and start many tasks only to let them go by the wayside. Skateboarding as a teenager. Bicycling on and off for the past ten years. Power lifting. Running. More rounded reading. Finishing my master’s degree. All things started and left uncompleted. All things I did not plod ahead in.

I know the slow but steady progress of plodding. I know when I start a new book that the newness and excitement will wear off. I have trouble getting motivated to plod ahead in finishing the revised edition of Only Believe. I have done little work on the book about our revival last August. I have new project in my mind for a book titled: I Will Follow. It will take a lot of plodding to getting those books from idea forms to manuscripts on the printed page. The books will not be completed without plodding ahead. I know every Sunday is not going feel like a revival. I have to plod ahead preaching when the altar is flooded and when not one person responds. I know every dinner is not going to be a “Ward and June Cleaver” moment. Brenda plods ahead cooking meal after meal we eat as a family. She plods through laundry. The boys plod through school work and athletic workouts.

I am feeling like a plodder. Even writing this blog feels like plodding. There are days when the ideas and words flow faster than I can type. Today I have started over four times. Every sentence seems to be labor. Each idea must be pulled from my head onto this screen with great effort. Through plodding it is coming together. I am learning to fight through my feelings of abandoning this task for something easier. By plodding ahead I will get finished.

I know there are many of you who know what I am talking about. You have plodded through marriage, raising kids, and mortgage payments. Some of you have had to plod through painful divorces. Others are plodding ahead in life coping with the death of a spouse or a parent. Many plod ahead week after week from paycheck to paycheck. It is not easy. How many have plodded ahead in jobs they did not always enjoy. How many have plodded ahead to meet deadlines, finish school, to volunteer at church and in the community. We are all a bunch of plodders.

What are you plodding through right now? Grief, debt, work, marriage, divorce, toddlers, diapers, plowing, praying for rain or something else? I wish there was an easy button like on the commercials. We all know better. We have to keep plodding ahead. We get up each day and set our hearts to plod. Over time plodders can accomplish a great deal.

I am plodding through a season of sorrow and suffering in Seminole. Each day seems to bring a new wave of hardships. I visited people in two different emergency rooms yesterday in two different cities. I have prayed for and ministered to some who have spent weeks in the hospitals plodding through rehab back toward good health. I have grieved with those who walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I have stood next to families who have been decimated by injuries and heartaches. All of this in the past couple of months.

All I can do is keep plodding along with the people. I keep plodding ahead in prayer trusting better days will come. I keep pressing my heart toward Heaven asking for rain that has not come now for months. The farmers plod ahead in the fields irrigating and plowing. Farmers know how to plod.

Our circumstances may not change. We might have to spend a whole lifetime plodding ahead but God gives strength to plod. [Phil 4:13] Through Him we can get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. He can enable us not to grow weary and quit. [Gal 6:9] We might not make great advances each day. We might not see great achievements but we will progress if we keep plodding. So to all my fellow plodders, full steam ahead.

Sitting on My Perch

I stumbled onto a small nook in the church where I have set up a make shift office mostly to pray and write. From my vantage point I can look over part of Seminole. I can see the steady shuffle of traffic passing back and forth. I can see residential areas where people work in the yard and kids play outdoors. I can see leaves as the gusty breezes blow through them. I have been able to see my boys getting into a little mischief from my perch. A police offer just patrolled by. A school bus just passed indicating the end of another school day. I can see church members coming going out of the church offices.

Nobody can see me but I can see a great deal from here. God sees more. He not only sees my perch but He sees the whole town of Seminole. In one glance He can take in the whole state of Texas as well as the United States. His gaze does not escape every nation around the world. From the perch of Heaven God sees all and knows all.

I am comforted knowing God sees and knows what troubles us today. I am grateful I do not have to fumble my way through this life but He offers guidance on each of our journeys. From His perch He can see from beginning to end. We would all be best suited to ask God to let us see things from His perspective. That would change our attitudes and outlooks on life.

From my vantage point I can see vehicles in the church parking lot. I can see Caleb’s bike in the back of Sean’s truck. I can see the lights are still on that illuminate the parking lot even though it is 3:30 p.m. I can see the clouds thickening toward the north just a bit but whispering little hope for rain. I just saw an old Model T refurbished just pass by. I can see a great deal but I cannot see everything. Much is hidden from my view.

What is God seeing today? Is He seeing the broken hearted cries of a desperate mother and father for their child. Is He seeing the labor of one trying to regain strength in the hospital and rehab centers? Is he seeing the worship of one driving in a car? Is God witnessing the physical abuse of a tyrannical father and husband who bullies and intimidates his family? Is God viewing one of His children drifting closer and closer to sin? Is God gazing on a dreamer working at His God given dream? Is God watching the selfless service of one giving care for someone not able to care for themselves anymore? Is God held captive by the effort of the athlete working and competing for the glory of His name? Is God watching proudly as one of His children put action to their faith in a step of obedience.? Does God see the persecuted believer enduring torture for His name. Can God eyeball the downtrodden saint who is barely clinging to hope? Does God notice the empty bank account for the family who tithed instead of going to the grocery store? Is God aware of the lonely souls who cope through dark nights of weeping because of the loss of their spouses? The answer is resoundingly yes. He does see. He does know. He is paying attention.

The point is God does watch. He sees all. Nothing escapes His notice. Not when we celebrate Him in private prayer or in public worship. He takes notice when we obey and when we rebel in disobedience. He does not miss when we draw nearer to Him or when we try to hide and cover ourselves with fig leaves in shame and guilt. He is aware.

I don’t know if this comforts your heart and causes terror in you. I guess that would depend on how you are living. Knowing He sees both comforts me and brings me to awareness He knows all. He knows my silent thoughts and attitude. He is aware of my rebellion even if others do not notice. From His perch He sees all. I am glad His perch is loftier than mine.

The Great Outdoors

I am sitting out on the deck of this mountain home. Overhead I can hear the wind whistling through the trees. Pine trees to be more specific. There are ten giant Pines standing like sentries guarding the perimeter of this deck. In every direction there are trees. This is a welcome sight for a native east Texan.

The wind is just brisk enough I needed a lightweight jacket. The sky above is a gorgeous blue with a hint of white puffy clouds floating on the breeze. I love the mountains. I love trees and of all the different make of trees I love the Pines most of all for they remind me of home. Sitting out on this deck is one of the reasons I wanted to get away.

Over the past few minutes Tanner, Tucker, and Turner have come out to sit with me. No agenda just sitting and talking. We shared some M&M’s and enjoyed being together. Brenda and Taylor are inside napping after a morning of tubing. The boys had a great time but this is what energizes me. Sitting and reflecting. These are some of my favorite past times.

There is something about sitting in God’s great outdoors that soothes the soul. Things are very tranquil out here. I can hear the faint chirping of birds off in the distance and occasionally a car drives by. Other than that it is just my thoughts and me. All the boys have left me now and I sit out here alone again. Most of my thoughts are centered on the greatness of God displayed in creation.

Here I can bask in the beauty of the Lord in the mountains. In about three months I will be able to do the same thing on the sandy beaches of Panama City, FL when I preach a youth camp there. All of creation shouts glory to God. Just sitting out here is one of God’s great blessings. I do not want to take all this scenery for granted. I cannot imagine someone sitting out in the great outdoors and not thinking about God and offering praise to Him. This reminds me that He is far more vast than my imagination. Lord, thank you for the great outdoors.

Heading Home

I just received a message that our team from Honduras just pulled into the parking lot at the church around 5:30 a.m. this Saturday morning. They traveled for close to twenty-four straight hours to get back home. This is included a bus trip, a flight to Houston, and a long late night drive all to get back home to Seminole.

While I write this we are enjoying a few last hours in Ruidoso, NM before we are headed back home as well. Brenda and the boys are still sleeping as I write this recovering from a full day yesterday. All of this got me to thinking about those who have passed from this life into eternity. We are headed home but some have gotten there before the rest of us.

I think about my four year old little sister who drowned in a pond behind our house. Though her loss proved to be excruciating for my mother, my sister went home. Jamie got there way before me and now enjoys the presence of God in ways I can only imagine right now. Though her life ended prematurely some would say she is more alive than I am as I write this. She is home.

Not long after Jamie died my grandfather died. I called him Papaw. He and I were very close. We both loved sports and I spent many a Monday night on his bed with him watching “Monday Night Football.” He died after a long battle with Leukemia when I was a Sophomore in High School. I wept uncontrollably when I learned he died. Now, I know what I experienced in his loss worked for his gain. [Phil 1:21] What a joy to know that He has put sight to his faith and has seen the glory of Heaven and the splendor of the King of Kings. He has fully experienced what I preach and write about in faith. He made it home.

My mother died Mother’s Day weekend back in 1998. Mother’s Day never comes that I do not think of her and us losing her so tragically. She provided care for Taylor during his first couple of years. She spoiled him. She only saw Tanner once and held him while she was in the hospital. She would not recover. It pains my heart to know she never met Tucker or Turner. She never got to know the joy those boys have brought to my life. Yet she has experienced a greater joy than I have ever known down here. She has lived out [Ps 16:11] where in God’s presence she has discovered fullness of joy.

I preached my mother’s funeral. I wanted to point my family to Jesus. When I picked out the marker for her grave I had a special inscription written on it. Her marker reads, “I will meet you at the Pearly Gates.” She made it home before me. She knows rest and peace like I have never known and she too has seen the Lord. I am envious in a way that she made it home before me.

I am not trying to be morbid. I have enjoyed my time away with my family this week I love the call of God on my life. The flock at Seminole are a blessing beyond description. My life is blessed.

The Edwards clan have laughed. We have sat outside and visited. We have taken snap shots. We have eaten sumptuously. We have been awed by the beauty and magnitude of God’s creation. Yet this is not home. We are only visiting in a physical sense. In the spiritual sense we are only visiting as well. We were created for another world. Like the old song says, “This world is not my home I am just a passing through; my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.”

Our team who traveled to Honduras arrived home before us. By now they are snuggling under the covers of their own beds and resting their weary bodies on their own pillows. They will awake in their own homes surrounded by love and warmth of loved ones. There have been glad reunions this morning between husbands and wives, parents and children as the team arrived home safely.

My family will start back toward Seminole in about six hours. Lord willing we should arrive home sometime late this afternoon. In my mind I can see the driveway where my truck remains parked. As I will hit the garage door opener I can see the boy’s bicycles parked on the left and my “blue blazer” parked on the right side of the garage. I can see all the baseball equipment and golf clubs. As we walk in the garage door I can envision the kitchen, the dining table, and the living room. I can feel the plush comfort of my chair in the living room and see one of my Bibles I leave on the lamp stand. We will be home. Lord willing we will sleep in our own beds tonight and we will worship with our church family in the morning. We will be home.

There is a longing in me to get to my eternal home. The toil down here takes it toll. The burdens are heavy and the way home is often steep like the mountain roads I have been driving the past several days. While I have life left I want to live to the fullest for the glory of God. No matter what assignments He gives do not let this one fact escape you though.. This world is not my final destination. This is a stopping over point like a layover at an airport. No, this is not my final destination. I am headed home to bask in the presence of Jesus. I am headed home.

Color Inside the Lines

Last night I enjoyed dinner with Brenda and the boys here in Ruidoso. At a table next to ours I overheard a grandfather telling his granddaughter who was coloring a picture to make sure to color inside the lines. I immediately bristled to such a statement.

All of my life I have been taught to color inside the lines. Translation for me? Conform. Be safe. Be predictable. Think inside the box. BORRINGGGGGGGGGG! I have behind the scenes always encouraged my boys to color outside the lines. To think outside the box. To be willing to risk for the glory of God. Not to mindlessly conform.

I know this does not set well with all of you who want your worlds ordered, neat, predictable, routine, and manageable. You may get good grades in school for coloring inside the lines but does this foster thinking? Does this always lead to the best solutions to the most difficult problems? Instead of thinking through issues it is easier to color inside the lines by giving the instructor what they want to hear or are used to hearing. Is there only way to get to the solution?

Color inside the lines people can be dogmatic, adverse to risk taking, and less willing to step of their comfort zones. How does such a mentality square with Jesus’ call on our lives to live by faith? To live by faith is to color outside the lines. It is to believe Him for the impossible. It is to trust there is a way to see the impossible made possible. The Great Commission is coloring outside the lines. It is taking the gospel to culturally adverse nations at great peril. If people live their lives coloring inside the lines the gospel will never be taken to the unreached people groups.

I for one advocate coloring outside the lines. Yes, I agree the paper is not as neat. I also agree to color outside the lines may mean you are misunderstood and under appreciated. Coloring outside the lines typically does not win the prize. Our world is filled with the predictable and people who conform mindlessly at home and work. Students do what they have to do to keep parents off their backs or to pass the class. Employees routinely fulfill tasks for their employers without passion or excellence. They are just working for a paycheck. Pastors preach to pacify the congregation rather than transform their cities.

While this cycle repeats itself day in and day out God has set aside some dreamers. These dreamers continually ask the questions, “Why is it impossible? Why can’t this problem be solved? Why can’t this need be met? Why does it have to be done this way? Why do we have to color inside the lines of someone else’s imagination?” Dreamers often upset the apple cart. They are seldom pacified with threats to conform. Jesus did not conform. The disciples did not conform. Polycarp did not conform. Martin Luther did not conform nor did John Wesley or D.L. Moody. Billy Graham did not conform and neither did Martin Luther King Jr. These servants of the Most High God colored outside the lines of culture and were often ill treated as a result.

Even the threats and intimidation of those in authority did not force these men to color inside the lines. God put vision in their hearts and they followed that vision swimming against the current of cultural conformity. They stood for timeless truth and not for coloring inside the lines of tradition and the prevailing political and religious whelms of the day.

Was there a price to pay for coloring and living outside the lines? Yes. Jesus was crucified. Many of the disciples died violent martyr’s deaths. Polycarp died at the sword after not being consumed by fire when tied to a stake. Luther lived out many of his days as a wanted man for his preaching and writing. Wesley often had rocks and dung thrown at him while preaching. Moody experienced rejection in many towns. Graham was criticized for his stance against racism. King was gunned down for fighting for racial equality among African Americans.

Come what may I intend to live the rest of my life outside the lines. Many will not like it and I will have to live with the consequences. I will encourage others to do the same. I will not be another mindless sheep being herded into conformity by the experts or authorities. I will be herded by the Great Shepherd and empowered and released by Him to change the world one heart at a time. I will live outside the lines; not in rebellion and defiance but in standing for truth and believing God to do impossible things.

I think back to that little girl being chided by her grandfather to color inside the lines. I think back on the number of times Brenda and I have disagreed with the boys when she wanted them to color neatly inside the lines and when I challenged time to color outside the lines. Brenda is a conformist. I am a rebel. Somehow God makes it work. We will never agree and have therefore agreed to disagree on this matter. So boys, COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES!

Keeping the Plates Spinning

I cannot remember a time in my life when I have been busier and had more plates spinning. I have the work at FBC Seminole that keeps me busy juggling preaching, shepherding the flock, and leading the forward. I have God’s call on my life to write that includes fresh blogs and work on new books. We are in the process of having a book published now and that means decisions such as the cover, marketing plans, and final editing of the manuscript. I have several writing projects all beckoning my time and attention. More plates to spin. On top of that is God’s call to raise the money for the hospital in Honduras. This mountain seems to grow with each passing week. Another huge plate to spin. I am adding more travel to my plate to cast vision for this project at “Hope for Honduras” evenings. Add to that the duties of being a husband and father. More plates to spin.

I am constantly running to keep each of the plates spinning so they do not fall and crash on the floor. The pressure can be intense going from one thing to the next. At times I have asked the Lord why He has entrusted so much to me. Each of these plates; husband, father, pastor, author, and missionary is a full time job in and of themselves. I have the peace of God I am called to each endeavor and can trust Him with the results.

I am learning more and more to abide in Christ and let Him keep the plates spinning. There have been far too many times in my life when I tried to keep the plates spinning in my own strength. I am sad to say this led to burn out. Nobody knew maybe other than Brenda. There were times when I could not keep up the pace. There have been times when I felt overwhelmed and seized with anxiety. There have been numerous times when sleep did not come and I labored to keep the plates spinning running on fumes. I have ministered in exhaustion, burned out, and even resentful of the never ending demands on my life.

I am learning better these days. Notice I said I am learning. I have not fully learned it yet. From time to time I feel myself falling back into my old patterns. I seldom sleep through an entire night. I am often up anywhere from two to three hours each night praying, reading, or writing. There are times when the anxiety returns reminding me I am not abiding but striving. I constantly have to battle my tendency to take on more at a time when God is calling me to do less but be more His child.

When I truly abide in Christ He keeps the delicate balancing act of my life spinning. He sustains. He gives wisdom. He strengthens. He gives rest. He offers counsel. He moves mountains. He provides for ministry. He inspires messages, blogs, and books. He grants peace in the middle of it all. He is refuge.

So on this early Thursday morning when I see all the plates of my life spinning like fatherhood, husbandry, pastor, author, missionary, and fundraiser, the most important plate is child of God. As I relate to God as His child and commune with Him, He keeps all the plates spinning.

I can tell when my life gets out of balance as well as those closest to me. I am sullen, withdrawn, emotionally distant, anxious, and irritable. That is when I withdraw from the crowds and retreat into the arms of God for a little talk. In those moments He reminds me He never called me do it alone. He reassures me that the more I lean on Him and abide in Him the more effective my service will be.

I am grateful for this gentle reminder this morning. He keeps the plates spinning as I abide in Him. That takes all the pressure off. I rest in Him to work in me and through me to accomplish His purposes. I can sleep in peace knowing He keeps the plates spinning.

Retreat in Ruidoso

It is 3:40 a.m. and I am up while Brenda and the boys sleep here in Ruidoso, NM. We came up yesterday for a few days to retreat as a family. Taylor and Turner came up last summer but Tanner and Tucker had gone back to Paradise to visit friends. This is the first time we have been here as a complete family.

I chuckled watching Tucker and Turner tracking deer and finding sticks they pretended were guns from the deck yesterday afternoon. They have vivid imaginations and were perfectly content to explore around the house. They didn’t need toys. God’s creation is like their playground.

One of Tanner’s best friends from Paradise is here this week with his family. They have been scheming about how to spend time together. They went to a movie last night and plan on tubing today. Brayden will spend the night with us tonight so they can spend more time together. They have not seen each other for a year.

Taylor is the quiet one. I think he just enjoys us being together as a family. Family has always meant a great deal to him. He is content to stay at home most nights with us while most kids his age are on the go all the time. He has told me several times this year how tired he has been. It is hard to believe he is already fifteen and will be sixteen in four months. He is man now and no longer the little boy who used to sit in my lap and fall asleep on my chest. It excites me to watch him grow and take ownership of his faith and yet I know far sooner than I want he will be out of high school and off to college. My heart is pained to even think about that parting.

Brenda was the most reluctant to come on the trip. We are so busy all the time. For her taking the trip seemed like more effort than it was worth. It seemed like just another thing to do. I sat her down before leaving and told her we would eat out every meal and not concern ourselves with cooking and cleaning while we are here. She especially needs the time off. I want her to be able to relax as well. She is fighting a cold and has not felt good all week.

As for me, this is a much needed time to get away. I love the mountains. Being here inspires me and I already feel renewed. Though our time here will be very brief I also know how important it is for our family. I am excited that we are all together. I love my family and the time we get to spend together. I am looking forward to some precious memories being built over these days. I know back home it seems we are always on the run with football, basketball, and now track. There are things to attend to at church and I spend a great deal of time on the road to Lubbock to visit in the hospitals.

I cannot say I looked forward to more driving to get here but hearing Tanner and Tucker awe over the mountains was worth it. Turner started writing a “book” about our trip as we left Seminole. He keeps adding to it and talks about being author. I am not taking these days for granted. What a gift God has given me in my family.

While they sleep my motor is running. I want to soak up these opportunities to write and pray. I also know Sunday looms just around the corner which means studying for the message. I noticed recently how few blogs I have written over the past month. I have faced some writer’s block probably owing to the fact I have been so busy.

Sitting in this living room early this morning I can hear the tick of the clock in the kitchen. I can hear the heavy breathing from the boys upstairs deep in sleep and the steady clicking of the keys as I write. I am at peace. Though I know how much work awaits me back home, it is good to retreat. It is even better to retreat with my family. To retreat to this mountain lodge is icing on the cake.

When was the last time you really enjoyed your family? I am not talking about passing each other in the hallways. I am not referring to wolfing down fast food together in a rush to get to the next event. I am talking about sitting down together and really enjoying one another. I am referring to talking over a meal. I laughed last night at dinner at Tucker enjoying his meal. He sat back contented with the world.

Life is like a vapor James says. It is here today and gone tomorrow. While I still have time I do not want to endure family but enjoy family. These days are valuable to me. Taylor and Tanner no longer sit in my lap. They still hug me each morning but I wonder how much longer that will last. Tucker is now at the stage where he is becoming more independent. Turner still likes to nestle in my lap with his feet between my legs to keep warm.

I am getting older too. I cannot run anymore (bad knee.) My hair is thinning and joints ache. Things I used to take for granted require a little more effort these days. After riding my bike a couple of days ago I ached for the rest of the evening. Such is the price of growing older. I know far sooner than I want old age will take its toll. There could come a day when Brenda and I will be less active, the boys will be grown and out of the house with families of our own. The two of us will be left with all the memories of times like we are enjoying in Ruidoso this week.

You bet I will hug the boys a little tighter and laugh a little more often while we are here. I know time is ticking. We still have Taylor at home for three and half more years. Tanner will bring joy to our home with his jokes and humor for another five and a half. Tucker will be our “little general” for seven and a half more years. Turner will brighten our home with his charismatic personality for ten and a half. I am blessed. Lord, thank you for this early morning stroll through the corridors of my thoughts and the reminder not to take my family for granted. Thank you for this family retreat in Ruidoso.

Finding Sanctuary in the Storm

It is late on a Saturday afternoon. I had to get away from home for a bit. I am feeling the pressure of ministry as I sit to write this. Writing is therapy for me. I am able to clear my head as I work through issues with words. So where is the pressure coming from?

Seminole has been hit with a storm of suffering in recent days. There have already been several deaths just this past week. There is another saint on the threshold of death’s door. Add to that a little girl in kindergarten was just diagnosed with a brain tumor. My heart ached as those parents valiantly clung to faith in the midst of a horrible nightmare when I prayed with them this morning.

All of this and many other things swirl around in my mind. It is hard to live in peace when the waves pound you relentlessly. You can barely get back on your feet for a breath before being submerged into the dark and confusing waters underneath another surging tide. When this is repeated over and over again you grow weary and hope fades.

It is difficult to watch people suffer, grieve, be slammed to the ground by disease, death and discouragement. After lunch with Brenda and the boys at Applebees in Hobbs, NM I had to get away for a bit. I had to sit in the sanctuary of my office to seek help and guidance from my Lord. More than just sitting in my office I needed sanctuary in Jesus.

Lord, thank you for being here now. There is nowhere else I would rather be than in your presence. You alone are my source of comfort, peace and hope to press on. I see so many suffering and I feel so helpless to offer them much needed help. All I can do is present their needs to you and trust you will come their aid.

I ask you to pour out the bottle of hope on those today who are barely coping with their circumstances. I ask you to fill their hearts and minds with the hope that only comes from you. I am not talking about the kind of hope that is more like grasping at straws. I am referring to the hope that comes from you who is more than able to do what we need. I ask you to take your peace and let it fill the hearts and minds of your suffering children like fresh air fills the lungs.

I ask you to move remove these oppressive and cumbersome burdens that weigh down your children. They are light to you and only you can move the burdens of grief, disease, and despair. You alone can remove the cares that dominate the hearts and minds of those desperately trying to cling to faith.

I beg of you to let all of those being slammed by the storms of life to find shelter in you. May they one by one come before your throne to find sanctuary and strength to press on. You can shore up shaky faith. You can offer reassurance and promises of your faithfulness. You can move each mountain and do the impossible and unimaginable with the slightest of ease.

I cannot help your people but you can. You are not challenged by the trials of life. You are not perplexed by problems. You are not weary from the weight of the burdens. You are God. Sitting in my private sanctuary with you is therapeutic. I find rest, calm and confidence in you. Sitting with you nothing can touch me. Though the storms still rage, I am protected. You are shelter for your servants. You are comforter for your children. You are sanctuary for the suffering. You are hope for the hopeless. You are counsel for the confused. You are relief for the ruined. You are peace for the perplexed. You are omnipotent and omnipresent for the overwhelmed.

There is sanctuary with you. Because you care and you intervene we can face tomorrow with hope. We trust you to save the day and bring glory to yourself. In you we can find rest and sanctuary from the never-ending squalls that come on us so unexpectedly. As you did in the boat when you rebuked the storm, I ask you speak, “Peace. Be still,” over every tempest in the lives of my brothers and sisters both in Seminole and abroad. Please give all of us sanctuary in you. In Jesus name, amen.

Fire in My Bones

During my travels last week Jase, Sean and I got to have a prayer meeting with my great uncle Billy Ford. I call him Uncle Buddy. He served as a Nazarene pastor for over forty-one years. He is retired today and is coping with life without his soul mate, whom the Lord called home over a year ago, and life in full time ministry.

We spent some time visiting but the main purpose of our visit was to pray together. It surprised me when he got up from his chair and knelt at his coffee table. I thought that might be difficult for him by the time all four us finished praying. Boy was I wrong.

He prayed with all the passion of a man still in his prime. I will never forget him praying about the “fire shut up in his bones” and wanting an outlet to preach and let the fire out. When we had all finished praying I readied myself to help him to his feet. No need. He pushed off his hands from the table and sprang to his feet spryly. I could see the fire not only in his bones but also in his eyes. He loves God and stands ready to answer God’s call.

I chuckled to myself. He still has the fire of the Holy Spirit shut up in his bones. He is a passionate man of God. O, how I pray that as I grow older the fire will only burn brighter and hotter in me. I pray the fire will set up deep in my bones as I walk with Lord and the hair turns grey on my head. I am already there.

My joints ache more than they used to. From time to time I have trouble reading in the dark. I am losing hair in some places and growing hair in other places I do not wish to see it. Despite all of it, I still love God and burn in my heart to serve Him. I find myself asking the Lord to let me do more for Him continually.

I recognize I do not have the strength I did in my youth. I do not have the youthful zeal I did years ago. I am not the same man. Though my outward body is perishing I want my inner soul to be flaming hot with new fire for God. I know this comes from consistent time in the word and time in the scriptures.

When my uncle prayed the Bible poured out of his mouth. Over four decades of preaching, loving, studying, teaching, and memorizing flowed from his soul and rolled of his tongue. That fire in his bones proved contagious to this middle aged preacher.

I do not want to coast into retirement without the fire of God shut up in my bones. I do not want to retire. I have always planned that if I should retire from serving God as a pastor I want to begin traveling full time again through No Compromise Ministries. I think retirement is overrated. I pray for more fire even in those days.

It saddens me as I have met and ministered to many senior adults that the fire seems to cool and for some even been extinguished. I have always thought those who have known the Lord the longest should be the most passionate for Him and the ones who had the most fire burning in their hearts. I can say that certainly typifies my uncle.

What makes the difference? I am convinced it comes down to hungering for more of God and thirsting for more Him. This morning I read [Ps 42:1-2]. I want my soul to crave and thirst to know God more. I want to have daily encounters with the living God. I long to pant after more communion with the Lord regardless of how old I am. I know that may become increasingly difficult.

How do you keep desiring and craving more of God into your twilight years? Hudson Taylor read the Bible cover to cover once a year for forty straight years. George Mueller read the Bible through two hundred times. Is it any wonder they loved and served God into the last years of their lives? Taylor died in his seventies still serving God in China and Mueller in his nineties after spending a decade traveling around the world preaching. Both still had fire shut up in their bones.

I am in my forties. I have asked God for a long life to serve Him. I still desire more time with Him and to hear His voice over all the other voices in this age. I want to live out the rest of my days as a man ablaze for God. I want others to catch fire from the fire God is shutting up in my bones as I caught some fire from Uncle Buddy. I hope to pass it along to others through this blog and through preaching. May fire ever be shut up in our bones. “But if I say, ‘I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name; then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it.’” [Jer 20:9]

Engrossed

Brenda and I spent Valentine’s Day together. I promise it was her idea to go to a bookstore. She had several things she wanted to look at and so we parted ways for a while as I perused the shelves of the bargain books and she looked for gifts for a few friends. The next thing I knew I had a nearly a dozen books stuffed under my arm lugging from aisle to aisle.

You all know I love to read. I felt giddy on the inside. Books are a passion for me. They are like friends. I feel at home in bookstores and libraries. We were about to leave when I noticed a selection of books for $1. Normally I do not read novels because my passion is non-fiction and biographies. I do find a few novels entertaining but generally they do not buy or read them. My eyes landed on this novel for a buck. A hardback book for only a buck. I reasoned it really did not have a downside. If the book were not good I had had not spent much money on it. If it turned out to be a good book then I found a bargain. We were in a Christian bookstore and I thought it would be entertaining. When I bought all eleven of my books I had spent a grand total of $35. What a Valentine’s!

After lunch Brenda wanted to shop at one other store. She loves me so much and knows me too well. She knew I really did not want to go into that shop but wanted to ravenously tear into my bags and grab one of those books to read! For whatever reason my fingers gripped the $1 novel. I told her to take her time and cracked the windows and nestled in with book in hand.

I sat back and began getting my mind around the plot and the main characters. The novel had a weird storyline but the more I read the more engrossed I became. This is one of the biggest reasons I do not read novels. I cannot put them down. I become obsessed wanting to read every waking moment. Other priorities began to get pushed to the side so could I read that book. By the time I went to bed on Valentine’s night I had read nearly half of it.

My eyes popped wide open around 3:00 a.m. I am ashamed to admit I did not have a hunger to pray or get in the Bible but I yearned to get back to reading that book. Each chapter left me hooked and wanting more. It did not matter my body screamed for sleep, I could not put the book down. I resented it when I had to stop to get breakfast cooked for the boys. As soon as they headed off to school I sat down to read some more. Before I knew it an entire hour passed.

I brought the book to the office but could not find time to get any reading in. So going home after work and getting everyone else off to bed I pulled out the book and cracked it open to dive back in. I kid you not, I read until I could not keep my eyes open and resented that I was not finished. I drug myself to bed trying to figure out the ending of the story.

My body slept but mind stayed twirled around the book. For the second morning in a row I got up out of bed before the crack of dawn to get my fix of reading. I felt like a junkie having to get his fix or to get a high. It felt like an addiction. I read page after page shocked at twists in the story. With the ending of every chapter I told myself, “Just one more.” One more turned into two, three, four, five,… When I finally finished it, instead of being satisfied I felt hollow inside. The book that started with such a great promise, fizzled in the end. It left me dissatisfied and unfulfilled. There I had made a GREAT time investment in that book and it did not deliver. I can see why it had been marked down to only one dollar.

There is a point to all this. I felt addicted to that book. I became engrossed in it. This leads me to my warning for all of you. Be careful what you become engrossed in. The book, though entertaining, did not feed my soul. If I am to become engrossed in a book, let it be in the scriptures. Let reading the word of God day after day get me up in the wee hours of the morning to read with insatiable hunger. Let reading the words of life draw me away from the hum drum of everyday life to become engrossed.

So guess what? At 4:00 a.m. my eyes opened this morning. For some reason I felt energized and got up. I dressed and then drove to my office where I became engrossed in prayer and reading God’s word. Here is what captured my mind and heart this morning. It is now 9:23 p.m. and I am still thinking about what I read in God’s word this morning. In fact my Bible is still opened to this passage. [Matt 14:28-29] “Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ And He said, ‘Come.’ And Peter got our of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.”

As those words sunk in and took root in my soul, I found myself asking Jesus if He wanted me to get out of the boat of my comfortable life to come after Him to what might look impossible and risky. Nothing really profound. Just the honest cry of my heart to know if the Lord is calling me to get out of the boat or if at times I dream my own dreams and plunge out of the boat without His call and into the depths of turbulent waters and utter failure.

Lord, is it really You? Are you the one calling me to get out of the boat? Lord, is it You speaking in myriad ways? Lord, is it really You or are the thoughts running through my head my own fanciful dreams and imagination running rampant? Lord, if it is really You, I want to follow You. I want to see You do the impossible. I want to come to You. Lord, if it is You, I want to be engrossed by Your simple invitation for me to, “Come.” No long discussion and no details about to come to You are needed. All I need is Your simple invitation for me to come. Just a giant leap of faith. Dear Lord, You know I live for such leaps.

I ask You to honor the leap I have taken to trust You for a hospital in Honduras. You have blessed us with $11,000 to start. I will need so much more. I ask You to bid me to come to You. I ask You to move Your people to join me in this impossible dream. Thank you for delighting to do the impossible. I trust You to build a hospital and give it as a gift to Copan Ruinas. As physical bodies are mended there in the future I rejoice that hundreds and thousands of souls will be mended by Your redeeming blood as well. The task is huge. It is bigger than me but that excites me because I know it is only something You can do. I know it is You calling me out of the boat of my safe and risk free life. I am over the sides and my focus is on You. Sink or swim I am all in. There is no turning back. I ask You for all the money before Dec 31, 2011. You will have to raise the money for that hospital. That is Your job. I simply trust You to do it and am stepping out of the boat toward You. I pray the multitudes will be awed at Your power and by what You do. In Jesus name, amen.

I am engrossed today but in a totally different way. I am engrossed by God’s word and His call on my life to follow Him

Sitting at the Feet of Jesus

I long to sit at the feet of Jesus. As I enjoy time at the prayer cabin this week I am afforded more time to do that without distraction. Lord, you are worthy of my fullest attention. You deserve my best energies and highest devotion. Like Mary in [Luke 10:39] I want to remain seated at your feet listening to your words.

I know you have much you want to reveal to me. Like a sponge I sit at your feet to soak all of you and all you have to say to me. Sitting at your feet is the best place for your followers. At times that might mean you doing all the talking us doing all the listening. There are times when you desire we unload all our burdens and cares upon you because you care for us as pour our hearts out to like water. [I Pet 5:7]

Sitting at your feet is the longing of this parched heart. In you I find refreshment and restoration to battle another day. In you alone I find guidance when the way seems confusing. In you I find direction so I can follow you for you already know the way. I love sitting at your feet especially on this hallowed ground. I do not face the many things that draw me away from your feet like phone calls, emails, text messages, emergencies, meetings, and deadlines at this prayer cabin. This is sacred ground for me.

At your feet time tends to stand still. Enjoying you is the highest goal and the highest reward for this thirsty soul. Thank you for beckoning me to come. I do not have to put on pretense for we are way past that. You know me and love me regardless of my glaring failures and inconsistencies . You not only allow me to come but you welcome me to come into presence. In fact, you command me to come before you with boldness to find grace and help in my time of need not on my merit but on yours. [Heb 4:16] You invite us to draw near to you. That is the cry of my heart.

When I lose myself at your feet and cling to your every word nothing else matters. Trials fade in the light of your glory. Sorrows seem more manageable. Confusion gives way to peace. Burdens are lifted into your Sovereign hands. Clear direction illuminates my path. The benefits are too numerous.

The question begs itself why do we allow ourselves to get so distracted with doing rather than being a devoted pupil seated at your feet. I have heard people argue that somebody has to do the work. There has to be Marthas to busy themselves with activity. Everybody cannot be a Mary.

I do not think for one second Mary was lazy. She was devoted to you. Deep affections welled up in her heart. I bet after you were crucified and rose again she treasured those tender moments seated at your feet more than Martha treasured a dinner for you and your companions. It seems to me as I read scripture and history the people who have been used to accomplish the most for your glory were also people who frequently and habitually sat at your feet listening.

I want to be one of those people. While Jase and Sean slept this morning I arose early to sit at your feet and you met with me. I read through Job and into Psalms. You had something to say to me this morning and I have treasured it in my heart. You know me and what I needed for today. Your words are timely.

I am off to seek you in prayer meetings all throughout today. I am not positive but I think that we actually will find ourselves prostrated at your feet rather than sitting. “O, the joy we share as we tarry there, none others knows.”