Mad At God

This title ought to grab a few people's attention. This is a sobering reality for many people today but a topic seldom talked about. There are scores of people who once loved, served, and worshipped God but that are now mad, bitter, and held hostage by their frustrations with how God is managing their lives.

This how the story goes for many. There was a time when you served God with a heart abandoned to Him. You loved Him with all Your heart. You worshipped Him with passion as your first love. You floated through life with His favor on all you did. You felt blessed. His tender mercies were new every morning. You delighted in spending time with your Heavenly Father and His Son.

Then without warning the trials came. Suddenly prayers that used to get answered quickly were now delayed in being answered. What is more troubling is that some of the sorrows you prayed to avoid and pleaded with God to remove came to pass. Family and friends withered and died from the cancer you pleaded with God to heal. The drought continued after repeatedly begging God to send rain. Prodigal sons and daughter s strayed further and further away from God and home even though you soaked your pillow with tearful petitions for their return.

One day you woke up with a different attitude. Frustration with God replaced faith. Anger and anxiety trumped peace and persistence in prayer. You got mad at God. The desire for private worship waned. Though you still attended worship your heart became hard and callused to His voice and leadership. You began to drift away.

Compromises in former convictions were made. You made the conscious choice to shun God and embrace sin. Sin felt good. It brought relief from the frustrations and anger directed toward God. At least for a little while it brought relief. The relief never lasted. Then God's conviction set in as well as Satan's condemnation. You lived with a sense of guilt, hypocrisy, and shame. You felt alone. Who could you go to and tell you were mad at God. You drifted further and further away. You often repented and determined to get back on the straight and narrow. You brought your burdens and sorrows to the Lord hoping for a change. Nothing changed. As a matter of fact, things got worse. In your anger you rationalized, "What difference does it make when you pray. God is going to do what God is going to do. If He chooses not to help or not to heal what could you do about it?" Anger grew. Sin became more enticing while the things of God seemed more repulsive.

As you read this you may be wondering, "How does Matt know? It is like he is reading my mind and knows the deepest truths in my heart." I don't know your mind. I only know my first hand experiences. I have been mad at God myself numerous times. Faith turned into frustration. Frustration turned into depression. Depression became anger. Anger manifested itself in bitterness and bitterness into a backslidden condition. You may find this last paragraph hard to read from your perspective. Let me assure you it was much harder to live. I nearly shipwrecked my faith and life because I was mad at God numerous times. I walked a tight rope of loving God and needing Him and yet feeling betrayed and abandoned by Him in times of great need.

Unlike many of you I could not just quit going to church. Sunday after Sunday I had to preach truths I wanted to believe but struggled to do so. Bible truths felt true for everyone else in the congregation except me. I often sat silent and sullen during the songs of praise. There were even times when I said in response to a hymn or praise song, "That is not true for me. That is not my experience."

For many people that is where the story stops. They live out their remaining years mad at God and justifiably so in their minds. They build a court case in their minds of all the accusations against God. They prosecute on the grounds of His unfaithfulness and refusal to keep His promises. They find God guilty and excuse their wayward compromising ways. They serve as self appointed prosecutor, jury, and judge in their case against God. They walk away pulling the mantle of madness directed toward God a little more snugly. It feels good. At least for awhile. The backslidden lifestyle of children of God never satisfies. Sin can never replace the Savior. Before passing sentence of God I would direct your attention to Job chapters 38-42.

I told you I have been mad at God many times. I did not stay there. Even though in my frustration and anger I kept seeking God. I kept coming to Him and His word over and over again seeking answers, seeking help, and seeking deliverance from my backslidden condition. There were days when prayers sounded more like whining. There were days when I could barely write in my journal. There were days when it took everything in me to stand in the pulpit to preach to help others when I felt helpless myself. One fundamental truth strengthened me to keep going.

After all that, do you want to know what fundamental truth I discovered. GOD CAN HANDLE MY ANGER. I am not saying it is right. I believe it is sin. But a gracious God like ours can handle it. You know what else I discovered? I write and preach about it all the time. Don't miss this. GOD IS FAITHFUL ALL THE TIME. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL. HE WILL ALWAYS REMIAN FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL IN DEATH AND LIFE. HE IS FAITHFUL IN POVERTY AND PROVISION. HE IS FAITHFUL IN SUFFERING. HE IS FAITHFUL IN PERSECUTION. HE IS FAITHFUL IN DELAYED ANSWERED TO PRAYERS. HE IS FAITHFUL IN DROUGHT AND FLOODS. [I Thess 5:24] From Genesis to Revelation the Bible shouts out the resounding message that God is faithful. He is trustworthy. He IS reliable and dependable.

You say, "Hold on a minute Matt. That is easy for you to say from where you sit. You testify about how God rescued you and I always read about God's miraculous provision for your family. He always comes through for you. What do you have to be angry about? God has not come through for me."

This is how I respond to you. With one little word. Yet. God has not come through for you yet. I have looked grieving widows and widowers in the face and heard their first hand testimonies about how God came through for them over and over again in their grieving. He gave comfort, strength, and the hope to carry on. I have listened to the testimonies of farmers prayerfully walking their fields after storms destroyed their crops and droughts burned them up. They keep trusting God. They keep plowing and planting anew year after year. I have read the testimonies of the persecuted and their trust in God even to the point of violent and painful deaths. With their last breath they whispered, "God is faithful."

From your perspective it appears that God let you down and did not come through. You do not see the rest of the story. You only see in part.

A few years ago Brenda and I took the boys on a vacation to Ruidoso, NM. We went to a place where we played putt putt golf, raced go carts, and watched the kids navigate a maze.  Brenda and I were able to climb some stairs to a platform overlooking the maze where we could see the boys trying to find their way out. We chuckled when they kept going in circles totally disoriented to their surroundings. From our vantage point we could see clearly the path out of the maze. Everything looked different from where we were standing.

So it is with God. He sees everything. You are disoriented because of your painful circumstances. He is faithful. He is good. He can be trusted and deserves to be loved, adored, and served. I will go to my grave believing that.

As I write this I am facing some of the most severe trials I have ever faced in ministry. Many prayers have not been answered in the way I wanted. My back is against the wall in more ways than I care to share here. Though confused, and at times frustrated, I am no longer angry at God. I have watched Him come through too many times in the past. He who called me is faithful. He has proven through history He can be trusted in every season of life. I choose to believe that by faith and hope you will lay your anger down and believe that again too. You do not know the rest of the story. You cannot see where ro when God will turn the plot in a dramatic way in your favor. You have not read the final chapter. God may not have some through for you yet but keep trusting Him until the end. If you do I am convinced you will testify with the great cloud of witnesses about God's faithfulness too.