I woke up this morning and took in the simple pleasure that I could hear my college sweetheart, best friend, and soul mate breathing next to me in her sleep. I gently moved my hand toward her arm so I could just touch her. In that moment I thanked God for her. I also thought about all the people I know who live with a hole in their hearts because their best friends, soul mates, and sweethearts are no longer here.
Many I love never get to wake up to feel their spouse next to them anymore. Many will toss and turn all night in tears thinking and dreaming about the one they love but can no longer hold or communicate with anymore. So many faces cross my mind. Some young and some older. All grieving. All coping with the loss of spouses. Some for days. Some for months. Others for decades. All with a hole in their hearts.
Others live with this hole in their hearts because children have been snatched from them way too soon. There is no longer the sound of laughter filling the home. Toys do not get played with anymore. Cute clothes still hang in the closet unworn. Pictures paint scenes of happier times. The reality sets in that the child is gone. No amount of weeping or praying can bring them back. It is a cruel harsh fact that my mother had to endure for over two decades before God took her home to be reunited with my baby sister who drowned.
Brenda and I joined the ranks of hundreds of thousands of other parents that dropped off a son or daughter at college and drove away with holes in the heart. Taylor's truck is no longer in the driveway in his spot. His seat at the dining table sits vacant. I worked out alone yesterday for the first time without him being here. Brenda and I have a hole in our hearts as well. It is different than those grieving the death of a spouse or a child. I rejoice that we got to talk to Taylor on the phone last night. We rejoice that God has Taylor in the center of His will and we are watching our oldest son live out his dreams. We still carry a hole in our hearts. He grew up way too fast just like other parents told us he would.
What comfort is there for grieving spouses and parents? For those deep in sorrow over the death of a spouse or a child there is comfort in [I Thess 4:13-14] if they were saved. But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren concerning those who have fallen asleep lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
For those coping with a child growing up and leaving the home for college or a career what hope is there? [Is 61:1-2] The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor, He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives , and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.
God alone is the source of our comfort in all forms of grief. He ministers peace, strength, and solace to sorrowing hearts. The hole in our hearts may never go away but our God helps in our private nights of weeping. I have seen this lived out in the lives of many before me. Grieving widowers and widows who bravely get up each day and worship God and serve Him even though they grieve. I have watched other parents release precious children into the arms of Jesus way before they were ready to let them go and they keep living, smiling, and serving others.
To all my brothers and sisters living with holes in your hearts, God often brings you to mind and I pray for you. The hole may not go away but I pray God will manifest Himself to you over and over again producing hope, joy, and laugher in time once again.
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