Introduction To The New Book I Just Started Writing

This is a book about the pursuit of knowing God and the pursuit of God for revival. This is not a book about the pursuit of revival. First and foremost this is a book about the most glorious pursuit in the whole world and that is knowing God more intimately.

Each Sunday hundreds of thousands if not millions will gather for some type of worship. Many of those people are distracted by many other pursuits. Some are in pursuit of relationships hoping to find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right to marry. That pursuit consumes their lives and their relationship with God. Others are on the pursuit of career advancement. They burn the candle at both ends trying to make a name for themselves and to carve out a niche in a competitive job market. Matters of faith have long ago been discarded on the altar of professional success. There are still others in pursuit of pleasure. They pursue it with reckless abandon often in destructive ways. Their whole lives revolve around having a good time and feeling good.  Some are on an academic pursuit to earn a degree or an advanced degree.

There is no pursuit that can compare to the relentless pursuit to know God. Far too many Christians have contented themselves to know about God. They read their Bibles like a text book to gather information rather than like a love letter to get better acquainted with a lover.

God wants to be pursued. God longs to be longed for. In the pages of this book we will dive deep into what the glorious pursuit of God entails. This book is not written as a formulaic path to intimacy with God. This book is written as kindling to help get the fire started in your passionate pursuit of Him.

On this journey it is my deep prayer and desire that God will spark a personal revival in our souls unlike we have never experienced before. I am not suggesting getting on some emotional high that will fade in a number of days or weeks. I am trusting God to bring us into such glorious God encounters that we are renewed, refreshed, restored, reinvigorated and revived in ways we could never have dreamt possible.

When this happens our desire for private devotions will intensify as we embark on a life long quest to seek and relate to our great God. Corporate worship will deepen as we express our love and adoration for a God who continually reveals Himself to us in fresh and new ways throughout the week. Our hunger for the preaching and teaching of God’s word and prayer will grow into an insatiable appetite.

When that happens in a number of lives in local congregations you can rest assured revival is not far away. There are many pastors and church members in pursuit of revival. They have read the revival stories of days long ago and want to see those things again. You can be in pursuit of revival and not necessarily be in pursuit of God. That is why I wrote up front this is a book about the pursuit of knowing God first and the pursuit of God for revival second.

As we start this journey together I anticipate it will be a grand adventure for me as an author and for you the reader. Who can know the glorious God encounters that lie ahead of us. Who can foresee the private worship encounters we will have that will transform  our priorities and where we expend our time and energy.

The pursuit of knowing God is the most glorious pursuit. If you are tired of going to church but feeling empty on the inside this book might be for you. If you are cold and apathetic in your relationship with God this book might be the spark God uses to get you back on track. If you are weary from going from program to another program that never live up to what they promise let me invite you to turn the next page and get on the pursuit of seeking and knowing God in ways you never have before. If you are dry on the inside spiritually and find  yourself going through the motions of private devotions, corporate worship, and service  to others all devoid of passion or meaning please take this journey with us.

Let me state up front this will not be an easy pursuit. Satan will oppose us.  Expect it and be prepared to stand firm against his wicked schemes. [Eph 6:10-12] Your spirit may be eager today and ready to begin this pursuit like a sprinter in the starting blocks at a track meet. The glorious pursuit of God is a life long quest like an ultra marathon. Your spirit may be willing but the flesh will grow weak. Trust God to increase your appetite and thirst for Him more than the path of least resistance.

With all that being said let me pray for us as we begin this journey. O Father, we have long contented ourselves to know about You when You desired for us to know You. We have played at prayer and worship viewing You as distant and removed from our daily experience. Right from the beginning as we start this new pursuit of You, I plead for You to meet with us. I ask for You to reveal Yourself to us in fresh life altering ways. I ask that You replace our desires for sin, leisure, material things and a life of ease with an insatiable hunger for more of You and an unquenchable thirst to spend more time with You. May those appetites and thirsts for You never end for the remainder of our days. I ask You to ignite a flame in our souls that spread to our families, friends, and in our local congregations. I ask You to give us courage to take this journey and never settle for the lesser blessings of knowing about You. We want to know You. We want to encounter You. We want more of You. Nothing less will ever satisfy. No other pursuit can measure up. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Providential Permission

While reading Oswald Chamber's devotion, My Utmost For His Highest, this morning this phrase bit into my soul. "Are you painfully disturbed just now, distracted by the waves and billows of God's providential permission, and having as it were, turned over the boulders of your belief, are you still finding no well of joy or comfort; is all barren?"

I sat in the home of a couple yesterday ministering to a lady diagnosed with a terminal condition. The husband walked me out and made this statement before I left, "We pray a lot. The hardest thing about prayer is trusting God when He does not give us what we want." His wife has served Christ faithfully as long as he has known her. He told me once that she had been his world for over 40 years and when others forsook him her love remained steadfast and unconditional. Yet, this former pastor and his wife are facing a huge battle. Some would call their plight bad luck or ill fate. He would tell you God has given providential permission to his wife's condition.

He knows God has the power to heal. He also knows that some times God chooses to heal in Heaven. Either way he is trusting God and so is she.

Many of us are distracted by adversity, anguishes, setbacks and sorrows that cut deep. These matters are taken to God in prayer pleading for relief. Sometimes God providentially permits things to go from bad to worse for reasons beyond our comprehension. We grapple with this reality but apart from total trust in the Lord's faithfulness and goodness we will never be at peace.

I also read Proverbs 21:1 this morning, "The King's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord, He turns it wherever He wishes." My over simplified interpretation of that verse is GOD IS IN CONTROL. Everyday He is control. In every season of life He is in control. Over pagans and believers God is in control. I CAN ACCEPT OR REJECT THIS TRUTH BUT IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE REALITY OF GOD'S CONTROL OVER MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY MINISTRY, AND YOURS AS WELL. IN ADDITION WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY, PLAN, AND SEEK PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE ON THE THINGS WE POSSESS AND PREVENTATIVE MEDICAL TREATMENT.

God allows things into our lives we would never permit if we were in control. Over and over again in the Bible God providentially permitted adversity into the lives of His people for a great purpose and for His name to be glorified. Read about Abraham having to wait so long for Isaac to be born. Read about the tragic sufferings of Joseph's life meant for evil but God turned for good and the salvation of His covenant people. Read about the trials David endured when King Saul pursued him to end his life. Out of those experiences we have some of the Psalms. Who can forget Job and his testimony of trust when he told his wife, "'Shall we indeed accept good from the Lord and not accept adversity.' In all this Job did not sin with his lips." [Job 2:10]

I have a ranching friend who recently sent me a picture of four dead cows in the pasture that were  struck by lightening. Below the picture of his dead cows he wrote, "God is still my God." Like Oswald Chambers, like the former pastor and his wife facing a terminal illness, like my rancher friend and like countless other followers of Christ before us, they believe God providentially permits adversity into our lives. He does not abandon us in those times. Quite to the contrary. He offers us His peace and His strength. [Ps 46:1] [Phil 4:6-7]

Like so many other things in life it comes down to trust. Do we trust God is still in control? Do we still trust His faithfulness even when He providentially permits things into our lives we would rather have avoided all together.

I have another eye doctor appointment this week. Type 2 Diabetes has definitely affected my vision. A few weeks ago I woke up and could not read the Bible. I scrambled looking at three different ones to find one I could see clearly enough to preach from the next mooring. I struggled to read the text the following Sunday morning. I stumbled over words. I guessed at some as all I could make it was blurry black letters on a page.  I could not clearly make out the faces of people sitting in the third row. The church gathered around me to pray for my healing. Another friend and his wife prayed for me while we were on vacation. I have to accept that God can heal and I have asked him to do so. Other preachers have preached in the past even though they were blind. One of the greatest hymn writers who ever lived, Fanny Crosby, was blind but God still used her. Though I have asked and am believing for healing, if God should providentially permit me to lose my vision will I say along with Job, "Shall I accept good from the Lord and not also accept adversity."

I love what Job said in [Job 13:15] Though He spay me, I will hope in Him, nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him. I love that. I hear Job saying, "God I still hope in you. My children are gone. My workers are gone. My possessions are gone but you are my only hope. I am still going to plead my  cause to you for relief. Yet, in all this,  I hope in You and trust in Your providential permission."

That's where I want to live. That is where I want you to live as well. Like it or not we are not in control of our lives. The former pastor and his wife had plans on retiring from his current job, selling their house and relocating to another state. Those plans were set in motion until this devastating diagnosis. Everything has changed for the time being. They are still trusting God. My rancher friend who lost the four cows is still praising and trusting God as his provider. The death of those cows cost him tens of thousands of dollars in the future.

Maybe my issue with Diabetes and my trouble seeing is to serve as a platform to keep pointing people to trust God is in control even when things turn troublesome. He is a treasure worth seeking above health, promotion, and wealth. In this life I don't figure I will ever fully understand why Brenda and I have faced so much financial adversity in ministry. If God has providentially permitted that just so I can testify of the number of ways and times He has come through for us then so be it. I TRUST HE IS IN CONTROL AND FAITHFUL NO MATTER HOW IT TURNS OUT FOR ME.

Stirred

So the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the Spirit of Joshua, the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the remnant of the people; and they came and worked on the house of the Lord of hosts, their God. [Haggai 1:14]

When was the last time you felt stirred? By that I mean stirred on the inside in such a deep and moving way it prompted you to action. Haggai prophesied and God stirred the spirit of the people. It might surprise you to learn what that word stirred means. It means to agitate, to disturb, and to provoke. So let me ask you again. When was the last time you felt stirred on the inside, provoked, disturbed, or agitated by God?

In my estimation this is just good old fashioned conviction. Many times over the decades I have watched people fall  under conviction while I preached. Some were convicted to be saved, many of sin in their lives, and others about areas of disobedience. Only God can do this. Only God can truly provoke, agitate, and  disturb a soul so much that it translates into action.

This is something the modern church age has forgotten. This type of stirring cannot be conjured up by emotional manipulation like I have seen happen at many camps. The worship leaders know how to manipulate the crowd with music. The preacher knows how to play on the worn out emotions of students especially toward the end of a long camp week. Tears fall. Scores come to the front many not knowing why they are crying. Those type of decisions seldom if ever last.

This type of stirring cannot be programmed. My mailbox gets stuffed with the latest and greatest programs that promise to transform the church I serve. They never do. Programs do not change lives. GOD DOES.  He might use a program but never forget God is the one stirring lives and changing hearts Yet, churches run around in a frenzy to create or implement another program looking for a short cut to ministry success. Nobody stops long enough to look at the results of decades of programs that have not produced the promised results. When God stirs a life it people change.

People go through the programs but come out not stirred. The type of stirring I am writing about today only comes from God through His Holy Spirit. When God brings conviction it may prompt an emotional response but emotionalism is not the end result. A changed way of living is the ultimate goal.

In Haggai's day people got their priorities out of line. They neglected to rebuild the temple while building and dwelling in nice houses. God sent his prophet to call them out about this sin. Haggai delivered his God commissioned message and then the spirit of God stirred the people. They were provoked, agitated and disturbed. They could not stay the same. They were moved to change their priorities and to action.

God stirred them and they went to work and completed the job. How many times have I seen somebody emotionally respond to a sermon and never follow through with what they said. I've seen it repeatedly. When God stirs a soul there will either be obedience or  rejection. A truly God stirred life produces sorrow that leads to repentance and a new way of life.

I need God to stir to my soul continually. So do you. We need this as we gather corporately for worship. We need God sent stirring. I need God to send it through this writing. I am not writing without an agenda. My agenda is that God might let conviction fall on you like rain bringing you to repentance and in alignment with His will and purposes. May we all be stirred. May your reading this agitate you, disturb you, and provoke you as God stirs you to repentance and action.

Mad At God

This title ought to grab a few people's attention. This is a sobering reality for many people today but a topic seldom talked about. There are scores of people who once loved, served, and worshipped God but that are now mad, bitter, and held hostage by their frustrations with how God is managing their lives.

This how the story goes for many. There was a time when you served God with a heart abandoned to Him. You loved Him with all Your heart. You worshipped Him with passion as your first love. You floated through life with His favor on all you did. You felt blessed. His tender mercies were new every morning. You delighted in spending time with your Heavenly Father and His Son.

Then without warning the trials came. Suddenly prayers that used to get answered quickly were now delayed in being answered. What is more troubling is that some of the sorrows you prayed to avoid and pleaded with God to remove came to pass. Family and friends withered and died from the cancer you pleaded with God to heal. The drought continued after repeatedly begging God to send rain. Prodigal sons and daughter s strayed further and further away from God and home even though you soaked your pillow with tearful petitions for their return.

One day you woke up with a different attitude. Frustration with God replaced faith. Anger and anxiety trumped peace and persistence in prayer. You got mad at God. The desire for private worship waned. Though you still attended worship your heart became hard and callused to His voice and leadership. You began to drift away.

Compromises in former convictions were made. You made the conscious choice to shun God and embrace sin. Sin felt good. It brought relief from the frustrations and anger directed toward God. At least for a little while it brought relief. The relief never lasted. Then God's conviction set in as well as Satan's condemnation. You lived with a sense of guilt, hypocrisy, and shame. You felt alone. Who could you go to and tell you were mad at God. You drifted further and further away. You often repented and determined to get back on the straight and narrow. You brought your burdens and sorrows to the Lord hoping for a change. Nothing changed. As a matter of fact, things got worse. In your anger you rationalized, "What difference does it make when you pray. God is going to do what God is going to do. If He chooses not to help or not to heal what could you do about it?" Anger grew. Sin became more enticing while the things of God seemed more repulsive.

As you read this you may be wondering, "How does Matt know? It is like he is reading my mind and knows the deepest truths in my heart." I don't know your mind. I only know my first hand experiences. I have been mad at God myself numerous times. Faith turned into frustration. Frustration turned into depression. Depression became anger. Anger manifested itself in bitterness and bitterness into a backslidden condition. You may find this last paragraph hard to read from your perspective. Let me assure you it was much harder to live. I nearly shipwrecked my faith and life because I was mad at God numerous times. I walked a tight rope of loving God and needing Him and yet feeling betrayed and abandoned by Him in times of great need.

Unlike many of you I could not just quit going to church. Sunday after Sunday I had to preach truths I wanted to believe but struggled to do so. Bible truths felt true for everyone else in the congregation except me. I often sat silent and sullen during the songs of praise. There were even times when I said in response to a hymn or praise song, "That is not true for me. That is not my experience."

For many people that is where the story stops. They live out their remaining years mad at God and justifiably so in their minds. They build a court case in their minds of all the accusations against God. They prosecute on the grounds of His unfaithfulness and refusal to keep His promises. They find God guilty and excuse their wayward compromising ways. They serve as self appointed prosecutor, jury, and judge in their case against God. They walk away pulling the mantle of madness directed toward God a little more snugly. It feels good. At least for awhile. The backslidden lifestyle of children of God never satisfies. Sin can never replace the Savior. Before passing sentence of God I would direct your attention to Job chapters 38-42.

I told you I have been mad at God many times. I did not stay there. Even though in my frustration and anger I kept seeking God. I kept coming to Him and His word over and over again seeking answers, seeking help, and seeking deliverance from my backslidden condition. There were days when prayers sounded more like whining. There were days when I could barely write in my journal. There were days when it took everything in me to stand in the pulpit to preach to help others when I felt helpless myself. One fundamental truth strengthened me to keep going.

After all that, do you want to know what fundamental truth I discovered. GOD CAN HANDLE MY ANGER. I am not saying it is right. I believe it is sin. But a gracious God like ours can handle it. You know what else I discovered? I write and preach about it all the time. Don't miss this. GOD IS FAITHFUL ALL THE TIME. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL. HE WILL ALWAYS REMIAN FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL IN DEATH AND LIFE. HE IS FAITHFUL IN POVERTY AND PROVISION. HE IS FAITHFUL IN SUFFERING. HE IS FAITHFUL IN PERSECUTION. HE IS FAITHFUL IN DELAYED ANSWERED TO PRAYERS. HE IS FAITHFUL IN DROUGHT AND FLOODS. [I Thess 5:24] From Genesis to Revelation the Bible shouts out the resounding message that God is faithful. He is trustworthy. He IS reliable and dependable.

You say, "Hold on a minute Matt. That is easy for you to say from where you sit. You testify about how God rescued you and I always read about God's miraculous provision for your family. He always comes through for you. What do you have to be angry about? God has not come through for me."

This is how I respond to you. With one little word. Yet. God has not come through for you yet. I have looked grieving widows and widowers in the face and heard their first hand testimonies about how God came through for them over and over again in their grieving. He gave comfort, strength, and the hope to carry on. I have listened to the testimonies of farmers prayerfully walking their fields after storms destroyed their crops and droughts burned them up. They keep trusting God. They keep plowing and planting anew year after year. I have read the testimonies of the persecuted and their trust in God even to the point of violent and painful deaths. With their last breath they whispered, "God is faithful."

From your perspective it appears that God let you down and did not come through. You do not see the rest of the story. You only see in part.

A few years ago Brenda and I took the boys on a vacation to Ruidoso, NM. We went to a place where we played putt putt golf, raced go carts, and watched the kids navigate a maze.  Brenda and I were able to climb some stairs to a platform overlooking the maze where we could see the boys trying to find their way out. We chuckled when they kept going in circles totally disoriented to their surroundings. From our vantage point we could see clearly the path out of the maze. Everything looked different from where we were standing.

So it is with God. He sees everything. You are disoriented because of your painful circumstances. He is faithful. He is good. He can be trusted and deserves to be loved, adored, and served. I will go to my grave believing that.

As I write this I am facing some of the most severe trials I have ever faced in ministry. Many prayers have not been answered in the way I wanted. My back is against the wall in more ways than I care to share here. Though confused, and at times frustrated, I am no longer angry at God. I have watched Him come through too many times in the past. He who called me is faithful. He has proven through history He can be trusted in every season of life. I choose to believe that by faith and hope you will lay your anger down and believe that again too. You do not know the rest of the story. You cannot see where ro when God will turn the plot in a dramatic way in your favor. You have not read the final chapter. God may not have some through for you yet but keep trusting Him until the end. If you do I am convinced you will testify with the great cloud of witnesses about God's faithfulness too.

Refresh

The darkness persistently encroaches in hot pursuit,
Clouding my view from the glorious sight of You,
Like hounds temptations nip constantly at my heels,
 The undertow tugging me downward is how it feels,
You are my life preserver, a Savior in troubled times,
You rescue me in all of life's tumultuous daily grinds,
You alone push back the darkness in marvelous light,
Though once blind by faith I now have fresh sight,
I need Your healing, cleansing, and deep refreshing,
I ask You to consume and captivate my soul arresting,
You are all I need in this hour of sorrow and dejection,
Refreshed in Your presence with passionate new affection.

More Than A Sermon

Tens of thousands of preachers are getting ready to stand in the pulpit to preach. Many have worked and studied for hours to craft the sermon for their congregations. They have done word studies, did hermeneutical work to unpack the passage, researched illustrations to give further insight, and labored to organize all the material into a sermon body. Soon they will stand to deliver the product of all that work.

People in the pew need more than a sermon. They need a fresh word from God. They need to hear, "Thus says the Lord." They need to be brought into a divine encourager with God that is life altering. They need more than a sermon. They need to hear God's message.

I did a casual search of sermon topics this week on the internet. It saddened me to discover the results.. Here are just a few. Real Help For Real People, Seeing Grey In A World of Black And White, Rediscovering Your Identity, Steps Out Of A Mess, Seven Steps To Freedom, Prescription For A Happy Life, and Eight Keys To Optimum Health. There were many others.

In all my searching I did not see one series or one sermon text taken from a prophetic book like Joel, Amos, or Haggai. Yet those fiery men of God delivered the word of the Lord. They delivered more than a sermon. Often their messages hit hard  searing the souls and convicting the consciences of the listeners. These prophets fearlessly declared God's message to the most powerful and influential people in the land like kings and priests, as well as to the common people. They did not preach to win favors. These prophets were inspired by God and motivated by pleasing Him more than pleasing men. Not only were their messages often rejected but they were rejected as well.

We learn in Haggai that the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai. O how we need that today in our churches. We are past needing our ears tickled. We are past needing cute sermon series that wow the crowds but leave them unchanged and unrepentant. We need a fresh word from Heaven again. Some people  have told me those fresh words from God are hard to find in a sea of sermons that resemble more pop psychology than scripture.

For every man of God who fearlessly stands before their congregation declaring Bible truth to rebuke, reprove and exhort I salute you. For every man who declares, "This says the Lord," I applaud you. Messages on repentance are not good for church attendance records. Messages from the prophetic books often drive the throngs away. So preachers avoid them as they craft cute sermons that neither stimulate the mind nor stir the soul. Many of those sermons resemble icicles more than fire. We need fire in the pulpit again. Not man made fire with theatrics. We need the fire of God burning in preachers as they deliver fiery messages calling congregations back to God.

Sermons do very little but fresh words from God upset the status quo. That is exactly what Haggai did calling the civic and spiritual leadership to task over not rebuilding the Temple. The leaders were satisfied in living without a Temple. They busied themselves with other things that did not please or glorify God. Therefore they needed more than a sermon. They needed a word from the Lord. We all do.

I do not know where you will worship today. I challenge you to listen with discerning ears for a fresh word from God more than a sermon. We have all heard enough sermons but fresh words from God are rarer today.

Living With A Hole In The Heart

I woke up this morning and took in the simple pleasure that I could hear my college sweetheart, best friend, and soul mate breathing next to me in her sleep. I gently moved my hand toward her arm so I could just touch her. In that moment I thanked God for her. I also thought about all the people I know who live with a hole in their hearts because their best friends, soul mates, and sweethearts are no longer here.

Many I love never get to wake up to feel their spouse next to them anymore. Many will toss and turn all night in tears thinking and dreaming about the one they love but can no longer hold or communicate with anymore. So many faces cross my mind. Some young and some older. All grieving. All coping with the loss of spouses. Some for days. Some for months. Others for decades. All with a hole in their hearts.

Others live with this hole in their hearts because children have been snatched from them way too soon. There is no longer the sound of laughter filling the home. Toys do not get played with anymore. Cute clothes still hang in the closet unworn. Pictures paint scenes of happier times. The reality sets in that the child is gone. No amount of weeping or praying can bring them back. It is a cruel harsh fact that my mother had to endure for over two decades before God took her home to be reunited with my baby sister who drowned.

Brenda and I joined the ranks of hundreds of thousands of other parents that dropped off a son or daughter at college and drove away with holes in the heart. Taylor's truck is no longer in the driveway in his spot. His seat at the dining table sits vacant. I worked out alone yesterday for the first time without him being here. Brenda and I have a hole in our hearts as well. It is different than those grieving the death of a spouse or a child. I rejoice that we got to talk to Taylor on the phone last night. We rejoice that God has Taylor in the center of His will and we are watching our oldest son live out his dreams. We still carry a hole in our hearts. He grew up way too fast just like other parents told us he would.

What comfort is there for grieving spouses and parents? For those deep in sorrow over the death of a spouse or a child there is comfort in [I Thess 4:13-14] if they were saved. But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren concerning those who have fallen asleep lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.

For those coping with a child growing up and leaving the home for college or a career what hope is there? [Is 61:1-2] The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor, He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives , and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.

God alone is the source of our comfort in all forms of grief.  He ministers peace, strength, and solace to sorrowing hearts. The hole in our hearts may never go away but our God helps in our private nights of weeping. I have seen this lived out in the lives of many before me. Grieving widowers and widows who bravely get up each day and worship God and serve Him even though they grieve. I have watched other parents release precious children into the arms of Jesus way before they were ready to let them go and they keep living, smiling, and serving others.

To all my brothers and sisters living with holes in your hearts, God often brings you to mind and I pray for you. The hole may not go away but I pray God will manifest Himself to you over and over again producing hope, joy, and laugher in time once again.

18,350

My life changed dramatically exactly 18,350 days ago. It is a day forever etched in my mind. A day when God touched my life in such a tangible way I would never be the same. NEVER!

On that day 18,350 days ago God placed a miracle in my hands. On that day in a hospital back in East Texas God placed Taylor Madison Edwards into my arms for the first time. I still cannot believe when God was searching for that little baby's daddy God chose me. I loved him before I ever held that little baby boy but on that day when the nurse placed him into my arms I loved him more.

When they took his measurements the doctor walked over to the window where i was standing and said, "Big paws mean a big dog." Taylor came into the world weighing over eight pounds. Today he tips the scale at 200 pounds ripping with muscle.

Ove the years my bond with Taylor increased. I used to pull him around in a wagon on the grounds of the first church I served as pastor. He used to fall asleep on my chest. One of my favorite pictures is one Brenda took when he was asleep in my arms and I had drifted off to sleep as well.

I do not have any memories of a father as little boy in my life and I determined early on Taylor would never know how that felt. Over and over again I told him I loved him. I also told him as a little boy before he would go to bed that God had great and special plans for him. Before tucking him in with a prayer I told him repeatedly that I could not believe out of all the daddies in the world that God chose me to be his daddy because he was a special boy that needed a special daddy.

Over the years his natural bent for sports made my heart swell with pride. When we played basketball in the driveway we always played to fifteen by ones. I used to get a huge lead on him just to see if he would quit and give up. HE NEVER DID and I would let him beat me as long as he kept working on defense. He did not quit then and he does not quit now.

In time other brothers were added to the family. On the night before Tanner was born I held Taylor in my arms on our bed kneeling in prayer. I did not see how in the world I could ever love another son as much as I loved Taylor. In ways only God can do He created new space in my heart to love each successive son just as much as I loved Taylor. Taylor did not take the addition of a new brother well at first. He was a jealous older brother. In time jealousy turned into pride as he took on the role of protector of his younger brother.

We moved several times over the years. Taylor's passion for sports never waned. While playing tee-ball one year we have a video of him standing on the pitcher's mound pounding his fist in his glove waiting on the batter to hit the ball. A runner tried to make it home after the hit. Taylor scooped the ball in his glove ran home tagging the little girl knocking her to the ground. That competitive spirit was there even back then.

He cried one day when I told him he needed to narrow down the sports he played. When I asked him why he cried he told me with tear stained cheeks that he could not pick just a few sports because he loved them all.

I taught him over the years to play for God's glory and trust God to help him perform on the field. We developed the routine of working out together that we still keep to this day. I was there when he lifted 100, 200, 300, and 400 pounds for the first time.

I've sat back and admired his tenacity and his drive to achieve his dreams. He dreamed of playing football in college and tomorrow God is allowing that dream to come true at the very college where I played football and met his mother.

Tomorrow morning before the sun comes up we will drive him to Howard Payne University and move him onto the fourth floor of Jennings Hall (the same dorm I resided in during my college days.) We went through the pomp and circumstance of High School graduation. We have worked hard mowing yards and pushing weights to get him ready for Yellow Jacket football.

While driving home from a day at the movies last weekend Taylor told me, "I am game ready." When I persisted in asking what he meant he explained that spiritually, emotionally, and physically he is ready to take this next step in his journey with God and on the football field. He dreams of being a coach and history teacher in large part due to the influence of some coaches in his life.

He has helped me the past two weeks with Turner's little team football practice. Each night I give them a devotion after practice. Last night I asked Taylor to do it. In that moment I saw my son as a man and in his God ordained role as a coach. He is no longer my little boy riding his bike for the first time without his training wheels. He is no longer that little boy standing on the pitcher's mound pounding his glove. He is a man deeply in love with Jesus and fiercely determined to excel on the field. He has traded in the green white for the Paradise Panthers for the blue and gold of the Howard Payne Yellow Jackets.

I will enjoy this last day with him. God willing we will have our last summer work out. We will eat breakfast at our favorite cafe. We will enjoy a family meal at his favorite Mexican restaurant later tonight. Tanner and Tucker will spend the night with friends as they are in the middle of two a day football practices and cannot go with us. My life changed 18,350 days ago. I have worked to give that little baby boy and his bothers my best. Though sad I am also proud to watch Taylor walking into His God ordained destiny.

God's Great Faithfulness

Bitterness of soul binds many. Afflictions abound. Grief grips many hearts of those I love this very hour. In those circumstances it is easy to lose sight of hope like a captain losing sight of his north star in the midst of a storm. The star is there but not readily visible. While hope remains it is not always visible from our vantage point.

Be reminded of hope today. God's mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness no matter what you are going through. Keep leaning on Him and relying on Him to get you through. [Lamentations 3:19-24]

One brief testimony. Typically the funds were low and we needed to take the boys school shopping. We did not know how we would do it and we were not going to charge everything on credit cards. God in His merciful kindness showed up through a loving family from Seminole who sent us provision. Their card said they had prayed about it and knew how expensive it is to get kids started back to school. Their gift enabled us to buy shoes, jeans, shirts, and other school supplies. Once again God demonstrated His great faithfulness to the Edwards family in our time of need. I am confident He can and will do the same for you.

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Jesus Is The Main Attraction

What will be the main attraction in your worship today. There are many celebrity preachers, worship leaders and bands, as well as cutting edge technology to capture our attention. What place will you and the leadership of your congregation give Jesus today? Not just today but everyday? Is He the sideshow? HEAR THIS! Jesus never plays second fiddle. He is never the opening act. He is always the main attraction. He takes center stage and stands alone in the spotlight. He gets the applause and the praise. He is the main attraction. He is the feature presentation each Sunday and everyday in between. Anything less than that is an offensive sin and a foul stench in His holy nostrils.

If your focus is anywhere else you need to repent and "turn your eyes upon Jesus look full on Hs wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

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