Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Proud and Forgetful

I was reading scripture this morning out of the book of Deuteronomy and I was hit right between the eyes with truth. It was staggering for a moment. Let me show you what I read. “Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His ordinances and His statutes which I am commanding you today, otherwise, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and gold multiply, and all you have multiplies, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord and your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, out of the houses of slavery.” [Deut 8:11-14]

Let me tell you why these verses impacted me so deeply. Moses was challenging Israel after wandering in the wilderness for forty years right before they were going into the promise land not to become proud and forget God in light of all of His blessings.

Over the years Brenda and I have known what it was like to struggle and go without. We have known lean years where we lived at the national poverty level. We have known times when we lived day to day from one prayer to the next. We have known what it was like to struggle in ministry pouring our hearts and prayers out for growth and success only to know the agony of death to dreams and death to ministry visions. We have known what it was like to face persecution for our ministry. We have been vilified, falsely accused, the object of rumors, and abandoned by people who supposedly loved us. In the midst of all of that we have never been forsaken by God. We have known His faithfulness and His sustaining power over and over again.

There were days when I thought the trials, the tests, and my mental sufferings would never come to an end. In God’s good pleasure He has blessed me with more than I could ever deserve. I contrast those days of wilderness trials that took up much of the 1990’s and up until about 2005 with the cascade of God’s blessings currently. When I look back over those years of trials they were hard, incredibly hard. They were also rewarding. Life is much easier today but easier can also lead to less dependence on God and more pride in the heart.

Today I am experiencing the other end of the spectrum. The Edwards family is blessed. We have a generous salary that allows us to live comfortably. We are serving a wonderful church where we have been loved, accepted, and affirmed continually by people of all ages. God is blessing our ministry and we have seen success and growth. We have eaten well and been satisfied in abundance. After five years of praying and trusting God we were able to purchase our own home again. Herein lies the danger. In the midst of God’s blessings there is a tendency for people to become proud in their heart.

We televise our services and almost every week I meet someone who tells me they watch me on television. There could be a temptation to think of myself as somewhat of a celebrity. I do not feel this way because I have not forgotten what is was like to be in those small churches that never grew no matter how hard I preached, prayed, or labored. There were wonderful people but I was by far not a celebrity. Twice I have experienced what it was like to minister in services with one person present. ONE PERSON. I know I am where I am because God ordained it, God blessed it, and God has allowed it. I do not ever want to become proud in my heart. We know from [James 4:6] “…God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble.” I do not ever want to be found in opposition with God.

I must remember from where the Lord has brought me. Recently I was working on the revision of a book I published many years ago. One of the chapters is a pretty detailed account of my testimony. It was hard to read and rewrite. When it was all done I sat back in disbelief at what the Lord saved me out of and from where He has placed me today. I don’t ever want to forget and think that by any merit of my own I am where I am. He has done it all. Like the old song says, “Jesus paid it all and all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson debt but He washed it white as snow.” No, I choose to not live proud and forgetful but rather humbled and remembering. I hope you will do the same. May we be more humbled and remember all the more what the Lord has done for us in light of His bountiful blessings.

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