Never Alone

Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in? Maybe you are new to this community and you feel disconnected from all the traditions, history, and the social networks. Even though you are surrounded by people at work, ball games, school events, and perhaps even church, do you feel like you really do not belong and do not really fit in? It is extremely easy to suffer from what Pastor Randy Frazee calls “crowded loneliness” in his book Making Room for Life.
Crowded loneliness is defined by Frazee as being over committed and busy in our day to day lives that we do not have time for people. Though our schedules may include being surrounded by a lot of people, we may not feel connected to any of them and therefore feel a sense of isolation and detachment.
This happens all over Paradise. There are some who have never lived anywhere else and yet for most of their lives they have never felt like they belonged and were accepted. Others are new to this community and cannot seem to break into any of the social networks. This scene plays itself out on the play grounds at our schools, in the high school cafeteria, at the local cafes, in the work place, and sadly it can be found from time to time even in local churches. We were created with the desire to be connected to family and friends. People need to live in community (close relationships) with one another and when we do not something inside us dies a slow painful death.
Think back over the past two or three months to your most memorable and enjoyable experiences. How many of those included sharing those experiences with someone else. We were created to need companionship on different levels. We can experience this in our families, in friendships, in our community involvement, and with the people we work with. What if your family is dysfunctional? What if you have been burned by your friends and wounded so deeply you find it difficult to trust anyone with your heart? What if your work place is so cut throat that everyone is out for themselves and their own promotion regardless of who it hurts along the way? What if the very community you live in seems cold and uncaring?
I think this article is touching a nerve with many people. The feeling of being alone, isolated, disconnected, unloved, and unwanted affects far more of us, not only in Paradise but around the world, than we want to admit. We continue to do the dance of life, working, getting the kids to their next activity, making it to the next school function, all the while feeling alone or too overwhelmed and overcommitted to get involved with people on a deep level. We are too busy to be known and loved and too busy to love and to know those we live in this community with.
[Prov 17:17] A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time. The word “friend” in this verse could be translated as intimate companion. Whom do you have on this journey that walks with you and knows all about you? Who knows your private pain and loves you through it to healing? What friend has seen you at your very worst and chooses to love you with no strings attached? How I pray each person reading this could know the power and the liberation of being in friendship with people who love us at all times. We need to be friends for others willing to love in the good times as well as the bad times. I am so grateful that I have a series of friendships that are deep, authentic, and loving. They have stood with me in every season of life and they have proven loyal companions. I owe them more than I can say. I also want to be that type of friend for others who will love at all times. This requires time, trust, and being vulnerable. While doing the dance of life it easy to keep people at a distance, smiling, appearing friendly but never being open with our lives and not caring to connect with others on a deep level. When others begin to pry and get too close we often twirl away from them and away from true transparency. That is why so many relationships in our social networks are superficial.
The word “brother” in the above mentioned passage can have two different meanings. The first meaning can be translated sibling or having the same parents. It is tragic that so many families are divided. Brothers and sisters do not love nor like one another. Yet, on the other hand there are many families who are close knit. They stick together like glue and face tragedy and triumph together. The second meaning of the word “brother” means from the same tribe, or for our purposes today, from the same community.
Paradise has proven we can come together when adversity comes like we did when the fires blazed a path through several homes back in February. This community rallied to meet both immediate and long term needs of the victims on some level. We came together to love with no strings attached. If we can do that in the face of such adversity I know we can do that on a daily basis with our neighbors and with people we come in contact with regularly.
Nobody should have to endure life alone. The elderly who face failing health and feeble bodies who have been the pillars of this community should have to live out their last days alone. New mothers should not have to face the exhaustion of raising an infant or toddler alone. The overworked father should not have to live life without deep connected friendships. The downcast and troubled hearted should have not have to face their private pain alone. The widow and widower should not be left to grieve their loss alone. We MUST COME TOGETHER and become a community of deeply connected souls. We must not leave people to forge through the difficulties of life alone.
For those of you who feel abandoned, neglected, and forsaken I leave you with these parting words. Jesus is a friend to the friendless. He is companion who will stick to you closer than any other. He loves without conditions and yet refuses to lower His standards or make excuses for our sin and flaws. Jesus never fails and never forsakes. He knows our thoughts and has numbered the very hairs on our heads. He is peace in chaos, truth in confusion, and light in the darkness. When we have Jesus, though all others may abandon us, we will never be alone.