Trust is a fragile thing. It can be gained and lost. It can be built and broken. It can be earned and vanish. Some people are more trusting than others. People who have experienced little hurt generally speaking will be more trusting than people who have been deeply wounded by those they thought loved them. Like I said earlier, trust is a fragile thing.
The Fifth Edition of the Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines trust this way; “Assured reliance on another’s integrity, veracity, justice – confidence.” The definition gives a great deal of insight into why trust is so fragile. Trust is built on another person’s integrity. When that integrity is found to be lacking trust can easily be broken. It can be broken between a parent and a child, a husband and wife, best friends, business partners, and in local churches. When people do not act with integrity trust can be and often is shattered into a million pieces.
This is one reason why so many people live in isolation, wounded, bruised, and broken. Christians experience this just like people without a relationship with Christ. The pews are packed with people who smile on the surface and yet keep you at arm’s length in the depths of their souls. It is hard to trust people when you are in self preservation mode with defense mechanisms activated. It is difficult to allow our guard to go down when trust has been devastated. Once you have been hurt and trust has been broken we do not like being vulnerable and put into positions which require us to trust people. Like the old saying goes, “Burn me once shame on you. Burn me twice shame on me.”
We live in an untrusting society. We have all been burned by politicians, con artists, unethical business people, by close family members and friends. Our reaction could be to retreat from people and vow to never trust again. That is a valid option but not the best one.
Look around you and watch the implications of a society where there is no trust. People become hard and jaded. Bitterness ensues. Paranoid grows as thoughts always surface that others are out to get you. It happens in church, government, communities, in the job market, in families, and in foreign diplomacy. How much damage has been done in this world because we hurt and wound each other obliterating trust?
In order for trust to grow there must be integrity. A person must be trustworthy. What happens when a person breaks trust but starts back on the path of living with integrity? Can they ever earn the right to be trusted again? I think the answer is yes. Trust can be lost but it can also be earned again over time. When people become assured that veracity has grown their trust will grow with it.
How many times have you been on both sides of this coin? There have been times when you were the one violated and trust was broken. There have also been times when you were the one breaking someone else’s trust. Is God not sovereign over both? Our God can take wounded and shattered hearts and put them together again with His tender touch. [Ps 34:18] “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God is the healer of brokenhearted people whose trust has been broken. He is also the Lord over the ones who have broken other’s trust. He is the one who can produce the fruit of integrity in our lives over the long haul and restore our trustworthiness. [Ps 51:10] “Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
We cannot operate as the body of Christ when we do not love and trust one another. If I know you really love me, even though trust might have been broken, I know it can be earned again. Love covers a multitude of sins. Peter asked Jesus how many times a person could sin against someone and still be forgiven. He thought seven times was extremely gracious. What was his reaction and what is our reaction when Jesus answered, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” [Matt 18:22] A lot of trust can be broken in four hundred eighty nine offences. Likewise a lot of grace can be extended too. The more loving we are the more likely we are to forgive and to allow trust to be earned again. Paul defined love this way in, “does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.” [I Cor 13:5] Where there is no love there will be no forgiveness. Where there is no love and no forgiveness there will be no trust. May we all learn to trust God enough to trust people and become trustworthy.
May it start with our living trustworthy lives filled with reliability and integrity. Let our love for other people be so grand that grace can be offered, wrongs can be forgiven, and trust can be rebuilt. In this way our souls can be knit to the souls of other people and by this deep connection and communion with other people the world we know we are followers of Jesus Christ. [Jn 13:34-35]
The Fifth Edition of the Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines trust this way; “Assured reliance on another’s integrity, veracity, justice – confidence.” The definition gives a great deal of insight into why trust is so fragile. Trust is built on another person’s integrity. When that integrity is found to be lacking trust can easily be broken. It can be broken between a parent and a child, a husband and wife, best friends, business partners, and in local churches. When people do not act with integrity trust can be and often is shattered into a million pieces.
This is one reason why so many people live in isolation, wounded, bruised, and broken. Christians experience this just like people without a relationship with Christ. The pews are packed with people who smile on the surface and yet keep you at arm’s length in the depths of their souls. It is hard to trust people when you are in self preservation mode with defense mechanisms activated. It is difficult to allow our guard to go down when trust has been devastated. Once you have been hurt and trust has been broken we do not like being vulnerable and put into positions which require us to trust people. Like the old saying goes, “Burn me once shame on you. Burn me twice shame on me.”
We live in an untrusting society. We have all been burned by politicians, con artists, unethical business people, by close family members and friends. Our reaction could be to retreat from people and vow to never trust again. That is a valid option but not the best one.
Look around you and watch the implications of a society where there is no trust. People become hard and jaded. Bitterness ensues. Paranoid grows as thoughts always surface that others are out to get you. It happens in church, government, communities, in the job market, in families, and in foreign diplomacy. How much damage has been done in this world because we hurt and wound each other obliterating trust?
In order for trust to grow there must be integrity. A person must be trustworthy. What happens when a person breaks trust but starts back on the path of living with integrity? Can they ever earn the right to be trusted again? I think the answer is yes. Trust can be lost but it can also be earned again over time. When people become assured that veracity has grown their trust will grow with it.
How many times have you been on both sides of this coin? There have been times when you were the one violated and trust was broken. There have also been times when you were the one breaking someone else’s trust. Is God not sovereign over both? Our God can take wounded and shattered hearts and put them together again with His tender touch. [Ps 34:18] “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God is the healer of brokenhearted people whose trust has been broken. He is also the Lord over the ones who have broken other’s trust. He is the one who can produce the fruit of integrity in our lives over the long haul and restore our trustworthiness. [Ps 51:10] “Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
We cannot operate as the body of Christ when we do not love and trust one another. If I know you really love me, even though trust might have been broken, I know it can be earned again. Love covers a multitude of sins. Peter asked Jesus how many times a person could sin against someone and still be forgiven. He thought seven times was extremely gracious. What was his reaction and what is our reaction when Jesus answered, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” [Matt 18:22] A lot of trust can be broken in four hundred eighty nine offences. Likewise a lot of grace can be extended too. The more loving we are the more likely we are to forgive and to allow trust to be earned again. Paul defined love this way in, “does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.” [I Cor 13:5] Where there is no love there will be no forgiveness. Where there is no love and no forgiveness there will be no trust. May we all learn to trust God enough to trust people and become trustworthy.
May it start with our living trustworthy lives filled with reliability and integrity. Let our love for other people be so grand that grace can be offered, wrongs can be forgiven, and trust can be rebuilt. In this way our souls can be knit to the souls of other people and by this deep connection and communion with other people the world we know we are followers of Jesus Christ. [Jn 13:34-35]
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