Brenda and I made a whirlwind trip back to Seminole to pack up most of our things to move to Paradise into a rent home. We did not have long to be there. We were only in Seminole for nineteen hours before hitting the road again.
In our brief time there we were able to see the staff we served First Baptist Church together along with their wives. We also saw a few other people while in town. Brenda and I welled up with tears multiple times in those nineteen hours. Though we left there close to four months ago, seeing those people again brought back many memories and opened the wound of grief all over again.
None of us thought our stay in Seminole would be so brief (just under two years.) I had to go back to my old office to clean out a few remaining things. Going from such a prestigious church to starting a church has been a major adjustment. I stood in the office for a moment remembering the many encounters I had with God in that place. Tearfully I had to walk away for good. My office space now consists of a table at a café, the library, and now a little desk in our rent home.
Brenda and I were very emotional walking back into our house back there. All our furniture was still there. It felt like we had been on a long vacation and were returning home except the purpose of our trip focused on getting most of our furniture and belongings back to Paradise. The house has been for sale for six months and we have not had one offer. Many have wanted to rent it but no one has even made an offer to buy it and in six months only three people have looked at it.
Our emotions overcame us because we never took that house for granted. Nobody knows how much prayer went into us getting a home. We prayed, waited, and waited. For four years we asked God for a house while serving another church but the Lord’s answer was no. When we moved to serve First Baptist in Seminole, TX and the Lord worked mighty miracles to provide us with our own house our logical conclusion became we would stay in that church and house for decades.
Leaving the office and the house behind were easy compared to seeing people we love. We gave our souls to Seminole and only left because God commanded us to. He called us to follow and we obeyed. That does not mean it has not been painful. Seeing those people I used to shepherd and preach to again saddened me grievously. Hugs were freely given. Yes, even I gave some hugs.
Twice during those nineteen hours the tears began forming in public places and I had to get my act together. The grief and sorrow felt like a heavy weight across my chest. The church is getting a new pastor this coming weekend and I am happy for them. None of that flock knows how deeply I loved and still love them though. They are not forgotten to Brenda and I or our boys. It hurts to leave people you love.
Most people consider me pretty hard hearted. I have even been accused on occasion of not liking people. I do love my times of solitude but the truth is I love people deeply. I worked hard to earn the right to become the pastor and shepherd for that flock. That makes leaving all the more painful.
Please do not get me wrong. I love the new flock I am called to shepherd. I admire the faith of this new congregation as we labor to get this new church off the ground. We are living a great adventure. Some of the people in this new church are people I served as their pastor in the past. I already have a heart connection with them. I am grateful for this new congregation but that does not lessen the pain of leaving a former flock.
Most people involved in church only know the pain of the church losing a beloved pastor from the congregation’s perspective. Few ever consider the grief when God calls a pastor to a new field of service from the minister’s perspective. It is deep I assure you. Even writing this brief essay has been emotionally challenging.
I just shut my eyes and relived countless memories of standing beside hospital beds and praying for the sick and dying. I recall sitting in living rooms ministering to those battling through tragedy. I recall the joyful banter of Wednesday evening Bible Studies and the work of God on Sundays as people responded to God’s word. How can I ever forget the twenty-three day revival? I have served three churches as pastor and started two other churches. Faith Community Church is the second of those church starts and the place I have asked God to let me finish my race.
I feel a huge void in my heart from missing my former flock and friends in not only Seminole but in every church I have served. There will be a reunion day. There will be a day when all tears will be wiped away and there will no longer by anymore goodbyes. [Rev 21:3-4]
In all of this I have learned the value of relationships. Relationships enrich life. While in Seminole a few days ago I went back and forth from raucous laughter to tears with those we were privileged to share time with. At times we laughed so hard the tears came again. My life is fuller from having served the people in Seminole. I will always love them.
My heart is full serving the people at Faith Community Church. We have already built memories. Those who were there will never forget our first Sunday in the blue room at the daycare. I hold precious the memory of our first baptism in a hot tub. The memories continue as the youth outgrew the day care and we moved into the Kelley Gym at the school. I treasure the memories of our youth retreat and Sunday night prayer meetings. There are many things to look forward to in this new church. The best is yet to come.
Paul writes we are to forget what lies behind and to press on to what lies ahead. [Phil 3:I3] I doubt he meant people. Though I have many memories under my belt from Seminole it is time to press on to the good work of continuing to build Faith Community Church. Now that we are no longer homeless we can settle and focus on the work at hand. Last night we had our highest attendance youth attendance with forty students. We had a great mid week Bible Study last night also with our adults. Great days are ahead for Faith Community Church.
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