Wounded Warrior

I just finished a book by Bruce Wilkinson titled, Beyond Jabez. In one section of the book, he warns that those people who yearn to do more for God and begin to expand their territory by building the kingdom of God will become targets of the enemy Satan. To advance the kingdom of God means more battles and at times battles means getting wounded in the fight.

I write this as a weary and wounded warrior. My wounds come more from feeling overwhelmed, fatigue, and fighting confusion in my mind. There are wounds from years of ministry and far too little time to retreat, regroup, and heal emotionally and spiritually. Some of these wounds go back some time. Let me state up front that things are good in the church. That is not the source of my wounding. We are blessed at FBC Seminole. To my knowledge we do not have many problems.

My wounds come from over a decade of walking by faith and trusting God for more. I have been assaulted a few times in the physical realm but more so from Satan. I have fought numerous battles with depression, hopelessness, and confusion. Many times I have been unable to hear from the Lord clearly. I have walked through the darkness groping for help and to find my way. The voices in my head tell me a hundred different directions to go but I long for that still small voice of God that seems to elude me at times.

My wounds come from dreaming too much and praying for God to do much more. I have been disappointed many times when the answers did not come or been forced to wait on God’s timing. My impatience gets the best of me and at times I only make matters worse. I get wounded as I fight the battles in my mind nobody can share or understand but God. I have had very little peace in my mind for a long time though I have cried out for it.

There are days I want to stop and lick my wounds but there are always more battles to fight. The war wages on and there is precious little time for healing. One man or woman may fight in the same war and come out unscathed while right next to them another person catches a bullet or piece of shrapnel.

What do you when you are wounded? You get treatment and for me that has meant time in the word and meditation. There has been much prayer. I cannot say I am out of the woods yet but I can say I see light at the edge of the forest. You want to know what has helped me in these current days and in the past? God’s word. I have continued to read it and digest it.

God meets me in the pages of scriptures. He did so again twice today. Though wounded, in scripture I find bandages and the balm of healing from my Commander and Chief. In the scriptures I get antibiotics to help fight of the infections of depression, confusion, hopelessness, fatigue, and doubt. As I traverse through the Old Testament working my way through I Chronicles I see truth and apply it to my wounds. The healing has already begun.

Nothing ministers to my wounds like the scriptures. Often I find myself preaching to me more than to the congregation. God’s truth hits the spot. May we all strive to remain in the scriptures and even more so when get wounded in the fight. My wounds will heal and I will live to fight another day.